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newburton13

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newburton13

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  • Number of visits : 10389
  • Number of comments : 752
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 55 posted

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You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

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newburton13's favorite FMLs

Today, I had my final economics exam, and needed to ace it, or else I would fail the entire module. After studying all day yesterday, and pulling an all-nighter today, I managed to pull it off and get a perfect score. Unfortunately, my teacher didn't believe that it was possible, and accused me of cheating. Now I may be thrown out of college. FML

#8617932
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36910) - you deserved it (2576)

On 02/24/2010 at 4:28pm - misc - by koolkidx3 - United States (Virginia)

Today, someone gave me a note to pass along to a girl in class. The note had the girl's name surrounded by hearts. When I gave it to her, she assumed it was a love note from me, and said "Not in a million years, fat ass" before I could say it was from someone else. FML

#8568837
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31524) - you deserved it (3143)

On 02/22/2010 at 9:46pm - love - by Crappyfayman (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, a drunk man opened the unlocked door to my house thinking it was his house. He tried to attack me because he thought I was a burglar. FML

#8516806
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27889) - you deserved it (6737)

On 02/21/2010 at 1:05pm - misc - by jerrid - United States (California)

Today, I finished my classwork and my homework early. Since we weren't allowed to leave the room, I decided to draw. My teacher noticed and gave me detention for "goofing off" when I should be doing my work. When I told the teacher I was already done, they gave me a second detention for "attempting to defy them". FML

#8410028
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30869) - you deserved it (2647)

On 02/18/2010 at 3:12pm - misc - by fannylover (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went in to my local cafe for my morning coffee. I was chatting to the barista as she was making it, and I mentioned that I was starting a new diet. She goes, "Oh that's great! I've been sneaking skimmed milk in your coffee for years, I didn't want to say anything..." FML

#8388243
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24044) - you deserved it (5258)

On 02/17/2010 at 9:47pm - health - by Skimilk (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was leaving Wal-Mart with my daughter when a man was speeding the wrong way in the parking lot. To avoid getting hit, I pulled over to the side. He thought I was going the wrong way. He got out cursing and screaming and punched a dent in my hood. FML

#8388229
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24336) - you deserved it (1991)

On 02/17/2010 at 9:46pm - misc - by WTFsalad (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I went to the shops with my little sister. We had to walk through the lingerie section of the store to get to another part. My sister then yells at the top of her voice 'stop following me you freak'. I had security escort me out of the store, and got many dirty looks. She thought it was hilarious. FML

#8330425
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28134) - you deserved it (2716)

On 02/16/2010 at 3:18am - misc - by Timv86 (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had an interview for a college. The college is in Rhode Island. I live on the West coast. When I asked the interviewer if they got to the mainland by boat or by some other form of transportation, he told me Rhode Island is not an island. FML

#8324479
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5187) - you deserved it (58209)

On 02/16/2010 at 12:15am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Why? Because apparently her friends have seen me hanging out with a hot girl, giving her long hugs and making her laugh. That "hot girl" is my sister, who got back from her study abroad a week ago. FML

#8314834
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31679) - you deserved it (2263)

On 02/15/2010 at 9:09pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was bored at work, so I started doodling a big muscly arm on my notepad, including bulging veins. After I returned from lunch, my boss called me into his office. Apparently the mail clerk saw and was offended. I was asked to explain why I was drawing a person's 'private area'. FML

#8300405
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19334) - you deserved it (6834)

On 02/15/2010 at 1:41pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Montana)

Today, our family went out to a restaurant at night. My cousin and I needed to go to the restroom, so we told everyone before going. Less than three minutes later, we came out to find them gone, along with the cars. They forgot about their own kids. FML

#8286568
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25780) - you deserved it (2052)

On 02/15/2010 at 2:28am - misc - by Abandoned (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while out for our romantic Valentine's dinner, my boyfriend of 2 and a half years told me that he believes in females being subservient, that I'm not allowed to have opinions anymore, that he is "the alpha dog" and I'm merely the "beta dog", and that I have to "get used to it." FML

#8263178
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31577) - you deserved it (6868)

On 02/14/2010 at 7:43pm - love - by Shirley (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, a white guy tried to teach me to use chopsticks properly. I'm Chinese and have been using them since I could eat. FML

#8074881
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30460) - you deserved it (4383)

On 02/10/2010 at 12:11am - love - by black_commet08 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was working when an older lady came up to buy a coffee. Her son cried for a cup of whipped cream to snack on. She shook her head, silently telling me to say no. I said we were out. The mother took her drink and said, "I'm sorry honey, but the mean man said you couldn't have any." FML

#8069688
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29518) - you deserved it (3202)

On 02/09/2010 at 10:32pm - work - by nichaneely (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I found out why my five year old has been throwing tantrums while shopping. It turns out my ex-husband has been paying her three dollars for every public tantrum she throws. FML

#8051143
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34656) - you deserved it (3254)

On 02/09/2010 at 12:53pm - kids - by inthedark (woman) - Canada (Alberta)



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