About nevershoutkendal : Okay. Well my name is spelled Kendall. With two L's. I was over the character limit. One of my long-term goals is to become a part of MENSA. I know it sounds cliche, but I am a hell of a lot more mature than most fourteen year olds. Don't let the age fool you.
And ignore my username, I hate crappy teen wannabe indie music. I made this account too long ago...anyways.
NOTICE: If you're here because you don't like something I've said...I want you to write it down on a piece of paper...okay, now put it in an envelope. Now, set fire to it. That's all, folks.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Today, my daughter told me that she wanted to live with her father because they have a faster internet connection. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20215) - you deserved it (4025)
On 07/01/2012 at 12:00pm - kids - by grrr1234 -
Today, I went to the beach with my boyfriend and family. My sister coyly pointed out the scratch marks down his back, hoping to embarrass me in front of my parents. The marks weren't from me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22345) - you deserved it (1362)
Today, I was assigned to work on a huge project with Michael. Michael refers to himself in the third person, constantly mumbles unintelligibly to himself, doesn't smile, laugh or make eye contact, and refuses to address me directly. I'll be stuck with him for about four months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14449) - you deserved it (1259)
On 06/27/2012 at 12:53pm - work - by NoMagicMike (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I finally got enough money to buy the car I wanted for a year now. It was stolen today too. I had my car for 4 hours. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26647) - you deserved it (1551)
On 06/25/2012 at 10:55pm - money - by stolen-car - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I foolishly told my husband that I know he's been holding back sexually, and that I was willing to indulge any sexual fantasies he may have. Now it seems that tonight, I'll be responding to the name "Fluttershy". FML
I agree, your life sucks (18867) - you deserved it (10827)
On 06/25/2012 at 6:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)
Today, my sister was "sexting" her boyfriend over Apple messages. Since we share an iTunes account the messages appeared on my iPod. Apparently, he shouldn't be silly, and should wrap his willy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20330) - you deserved it (2069)
On 06/24/2012 at 8:28pm - intimacy - by Addison - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my parents felt the need to lecture me about how people who "smoke the reefer" are a "waste of life" and will never amount to anything. I was baked during the entire conversation, and actually ended up breaking down in tears, because I realized they were totally right. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6804) - you deserved it (31874)
On 06/24/2012 at 5:45pm - kids - by :( (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, a kid got his hand stuck inside my store's giant gumball machine. He started crying, and his negligent train-wreck of a mom bitched me out for being "unobservant." I'd been mopping up the mess she'd made after she spilled an open can of beer all over the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20805) - you deserved it (905)
On 06/24/2012 at 2:41pm - work - by hannaslifesucks (woman) - Norway (Hordaland)
Today, a homeless man tried to sell me a "magic, one-finger glove". It was a used condom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23297) - you deserved it (2003)
On 06/24/2012 at 10:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my husband put some photos of our wedding on Facebook. He named the album "FML". FML
I agree, your life sucks (24006) - you deserved it (2274)
On 06/23/2012 at 1:17am - misc - by blah56 - United States (Kentucky)
Today, my mom reached the lowest point of her midlife crisis. She convinced herself she's psychic and grounded me for something she "knows" I'm going to do. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18899) - you deserved it (1069)
On 06/23/2012 at 12:55am - misc - by Coffee Boy - United States (Missouri)
Today, I entered my first professional fight as a mixed martial artist. It's been my dream to become a UFC champion one day. All I do is train and watch UFC fights all day. I was out cold in a matter of seconds. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9150) - you deserved it (15684)
On 06/21/2012 at 11:07pm - misc - by yeah - United States
Today, someone rang my doorbell. The moment I opened the door, a smell not unlike a cascading torrent of rotting flesh and urine hit my nostrils. I stood there for an eternity as a homeless man leaned on my door and desperately tried to convince me to buy an array of scrap metal from him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13072) - you deserved it (2059)
On 06/21/2012 at 2:13pm - misc - by noquiero (man) - United Kingdom (Durham)
Today, I was lecturing my high school students on the importance of a good education. I pointed out the janitor in the hall and told them if they didn't stay in school, they'd end up like him. Then one of my students raised her hand and reminded me that the janitor I pointed to was her dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4635) - you deserved it (48967)
On 06/21/2012 at 12:11am - work - by daddy'sgirl - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I asked a coworker what she'd bought her dad for father's day. She said that she got him some flowers, and I laughed because I thought it was a rather feminine gift for a man. I later found out that the flowers were for his grave. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7768) - you deserved it (34279)
On 06/19/2012 at 1:20pm - work - by hc11bmd (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Monday 20 May 2013
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