Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

nevershoutkendal

Search for a member

nevershoutkendal

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 2 December 1997 (16 years)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 1688
  • Number of comments : 1037
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About nevershoutkendal : Okay. Well my name is spelled Kendall. With two L's. I was over the character limit. One of my long-term goals is to become a part of MENSA. I know it sounds cliche, but I am a hell of a lot more mature than most fourteen year olds. Don't let the age fool you.

And ignore my username, I hate crappy teen wannabe indie music. I made this account too long ago...anyways.

NOTICE: If you're here because you don't like something I've said...I want you to write it down on a piece of paper...okay, now put it in an envelope. Now, set fire to it. That's all, folks.

nevershoutkendal's page activity

Visits<b>cihanimal</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 5:59am<b>madrid201</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 4:33am<b>meganellenishere</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 5:52pm<b>amandam21</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 12:37pm<b>cakelol</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 11:43am<b>cjcjcjx</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 5:18pm<b>Chineseaznxd</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 10:16am<b>hailey2649</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 2:01pm<b>reneetlovesyou</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 7:08am<b>ill_Will95</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 11:31pm<b>fuckedfucklife8</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 3:07pm<b>Shad0wjack</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 4:17am<b>Tbearshy</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 11:54am<b>glowbaby</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 3:18am<b>Usuario</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 10:40am<b>Jumbabaginji</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 9:10am<b>Afroninja4566</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 6:30pm<b>relaxedninja</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 9:20am

nevershoutkendal's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of nevershoutkendal's badges

nevershoutkendal's favorite FMLs

Today, I was feeling depressed and got very, very drunk. This evening, I was feeling equally desperate, and ended up having to get my special dildo removed from my asshole at the hospital. FML

#20051425
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11897) - you deserved it (35076)

On 08/31/2012 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by pride? what's that? :( (woman) - Belgium (Vlaams-Brabant)

Today, at college, we had a substitute philosophy teacher, because our professor is on bereavement leave. During his presentation, the sub managed to segue from the early works of Immanuel Kant straight into "the myth of the vaginal orgasm." I'm still shocked and highly confused. FML

#20051386
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16601) - you deserved it (1664)

On 08/31/2012 at 7:40pm - misc - by what.....? (woman) - United States

Today, I had my boss over for dinner. Knowing that I was angling for a promotion, my fifteen-year-old son spent the dinner uttering lines such as "What's the point of showering before bed?" and "Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks." My boss was not impressed. FML

#20051346
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20526) - you deserved it (4169)

On 08/31/2012 at 7:16pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was playing some CoD online, when I realised I'd started humming an annoyingly catchy Bieber tune. Before I could come to my senses and pull out my mic, a bunch of my teammates started sarcastically singing along. FML

#20051062
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6637) - you deserved it (24460)

On 08/31/2012 at 3:20pm - misc - by bieberyoulittleSHIT (man) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I was playing some CoD online, when I realised I'd started humming an annoyingly catchy Bieber tune. Before I could come to my senses and pull out my mic, a bunch of my teammates started sarcastically singing along. FML

#20051062
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6637) - you deserved it (24460)

On 08/31/2012 at 3:20pm - misc - by bieberyoulittleSHIT (man) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I had to explain to my teacher that Czechoslovakia is no longer a country. She kicked me out of class when she found out I was right. FML

#20049540
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26405) - you deserved it (1725)

On 08/30/2012 at 2:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Maine)

Today, I finally confronted my boyfriend and asked him if he was cheating on me. He got flustered and said, "Technically, I'm cheating with you, not on you." FML

#20049344
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31014) - you deserved it (2510)

On 08/30/2012 at 11:24am - love - by nice one (woman) -

Today, I bought a pack of toothpicks. There were 500 of them. When I got home I accidentally dropped the pack. After twenty long minutes of picking them up, I dropped them again. FML

#20042606
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21593) - you deserved it (10795)

On 08/26/2012 at 12:20pm - misc - by S. (woman) - Estonia

Today, I had to pee so bad that I ran downstairs with no glasses on and stumbled into the bathroom, half blind. I sat down on the toilet and realized just a little late that my older sister and her boyfriend were having sex in the bathtub. FML

#20042115
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34499) - you deserved it (3272)

On 08/26/2012 at 1:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, my swimming coach made us swim fifty laps non-stop as punishment for his previous class being unable to swim a drill properly. They're 8-11 year olds who are still learning to swim. I feel like my arms and legs are filled with lead. FML

#20041381
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20995) - you deserved it (1896)

On 08/25/2012 at 5:59pm - health - by blue (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I had to hunt down and collect a stray dog's feces for my parasitology class. FML

#20041168
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17573) - you deserved it (2979)

On 08/25/2012 at 3:11pm - animals - by missTyfied (woman) - Philippines (Rizal)

Today, while I was at work, my wife sent me a few pictures of her in a new lingerie, to "spice up" my day. She didn't realize that I have iCloud turned on so I can share files with my colleagues. My boss and a dozen other employees received the same pictures. FML

#20040897
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11938) - you deserved it (22530)

On 08/25/2012 at 12:06pm - work - by Michael D. (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my friends set me up on a blind date. I thought it went well, and while saying our goodbyes, I leaned in to give her a kiss. She pulled way, laughed, "I'm not drunk enough for that," and left. FML

#20039589
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20809) - you deserved it (3091)

On 08/24/2012 at 5:00pm - love - by OMFG I LOVE MLP - Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz)

Today, my friends set me up on a blind date. I thought it went well, and while saying our goodbyes, I leaned in to give her a kiss. She pulled way, laughed, "I'm not drunk enough for that," and left. FML

#20039589
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20809) - you deserved it (3091)

On 08/24/2012 at 5:00pm - love - by OMFG I LOVE MLP - Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz)

Today, I met a girl I used to make fun of in high school. She was taking my fingerprints after I was arrested. FML

#20037281
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6380) - you deserved it (71551)

On 08/23/2012 at 9:42am - misc - by TheBeautifulOne (woman) - United Kingdom (South Ayrshire)



Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML
  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you know any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: