About nevergetsfirst : I simply enjoy giggling at other peoples misfortunes
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nevergetsfirst's favorite FMLs
by bobjope / 02/27/2015 at 11:14pm / Miscellaneous
by parental failure / 03/03/2013 at 12:03pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 03/21/2012 at 11:21pm / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy
by justwow / 03/21/2012 at 7:58pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy
Today, while driving home from school, I noticed one of our hot quarterbacks in the car behind me. Trying to impress him, I pulled into the driveway of an expensive-looking house. To my horror, he pulled in behind me and asked what I was doing at his house. FML
by brooke / 03/21/2012 at 1:12pm / United States (Florida) / Kids
Today, I found out that my resume contained the word "masturbation" in the skills section, courtesy of a practical joke by my best friend. I have been using this CV unsuccessfully for over two months. FML
by Anonymous / 03/13/2012 at 8:51am / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Intimacy
by Wow / 03/13/2012 at 12:38am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I was working retail when a group of older gentlemen came in looking for a good sound system. I showed them a top-range system and gushed about it in detail, trying to close the sale. One of them snorted and said, "See Dave, girls like her are the reason ball gags were invented." FML
by sandi519 / 03/12/2012 at 11:10pm / United States / Work
Today, my grandparents visited. My grandpa kept getting off the couch and walking around to "stretch his legs." He kept kicking out my computer's network cable and messing up my game, smirking each time he did it. When I complained, my mom told me to shut up and show some respect. FML
by Anonymous / 03/12/2012 at 10:04pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, on my way to work, I had to squeeze by a man sitting in a large truck parked next to my car. I was in a bit of a hurry and in my rush the collar of my shirt got caught on his grill. My shirt ripped and I flashed the guy my entire boob. FML
by titillating / 03/12/2012 at 12:28am / United States (California) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 03/12/2012 at 12:16am / United States / Intimacy
Today, a guy came by my house and demanded my fiancé come out and fight. He explained that my fiancé had been stupid enough to not only troll on a local interest forum, but to leave his name and our address, inviting people to "come shut me up if you think you're tough enough." FML
by me / 03/11/2012 at 10:49pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 03/11/2012 at 7:19pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was the 10th caller on a radio show. I answered the question correctly. The DJ informed I won a free air guitar of my choosing. I yelled with excitement over the air. The DJ then instructed me how to use my new air guitar. FML
by h4rdy / 03/09/2012 at 11:55am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by sad face / 03/07/2012 at 2:25pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got…