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nevergetsfirst

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nevergetsfirst

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 28 August 1998 (16 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 474
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About nevergetsfirst : I simply enjoy giggling at other peoples misfortunes

nevergetsfirst's page activity

Visits<b>countryb_cth</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 8:41pm<b>Brandi_Faith</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 9:24pm<b>IMightBee</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 5:15am<b>DRz_Ice</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 1:14am<b>brokenjawskhan</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 11:07pm<b>Enslaved</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 11:07pm<b>ECHOSPiiKES</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 11:06pm<b>orbit</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 1:57am<b>levention</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 6:18am<b>Daltron848</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 2:20am<b>spamhands1</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 5:05pm<b>RandEm2497</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 8:52pm<b>AFaye3964</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 6:52pm<b>MissHeartSihk</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 10:27am<b>BirdieCurls</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 1:04am<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 4:08am<b>wilburhp</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 4:19pm<b>little_one</b> - the 02/23/2014 at 1:06pm

Liked!<b>ECHOSPiiKES</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 5:06am

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An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

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nevergetsfirst's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to my daughter's room with clean laundry. I found her lying on her bed with a hand down her pants, totally zoned out and staring blankly at the Justin Bieber poster on her wall. FML

#20529387
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43988) - you deserved it (6710)

On 03/03/2013 at 12:03pm - misc - by parental failure (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found out that sex in the woods is amazing. I also found that the roar of a nearby bear will end the amazement. Not only was I cock blocked by a bear, I almost shit myself. FML

#19323804
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26904) - you deserved it (6303)

On 03/21/2012 at 11:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I saw an article about how some people think internet access is more important than sex. I asked my boyfriend which he thought was more important. He chose internet access. FML

#19322341
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19693) - you deserved it (6365)

On 03/21/2012 at 7:58pm - intimacy - by justwow (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, while driving home from school, I noticed one of our hot quarterbacks in the car behind me. Trying to impress him, I pulled into the driveway of an expensive-looking house. To my horror, he pulled in behind me and asked what I was doing at his house. FML

#19320311
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9978) - you deserved it (61376)

On 03/21/2012 at 1:12pm - kids - by brooke (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that my resume contained the word "masturbation" in the skills section, courtesy of a practical joke by my best friend. I have been using this CV unsuccessfully for over two months. FML

#19270252
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29897) - you deserved it (7412)

On 03/13/2012 at 8:51am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I realized that I am so sexually deprived that I get aroused when plugging my headphones into my computer. FML

#19268925
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23377) - you deserved it (7963)

On 03/13/2012 at 12:38am - intimacy - by Wow (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was working retail when a group of older gentlemen came in looking for a good sound system. I showed them a top-range system and gushed about it in detail, trying to close the sale. One of them snorted and said, "See Dave, girls like her are the reason ball gags were invented." FML

#19268166
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23068) - you deserved it (3504)

On 03/12/2012 at 11:10pm - work - by sandi519 (woman) - United States

Today, my grandparents visited. My grandpa kept getting off the couch and walking around to "stretch his legs." He kept kicking out my computer's network cable and messing up my game, smirking each time he did it. When I complained, my mom told me to shut up and show some respect. FML

#19267574
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13820) - you deserved it (24146)

On 03/12/2012 at 10:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, on my way to work, I had to squeeze by a man sitting in a large truck parked next to my car. I was in a bit of a hurry and in my rush the collar of my shirt got caught on his grill. My shirt ripped and I flashed the guy my entire boob. FML

#19261756
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24700) - you deserved it (3960)

On 03/12/2012 at 12:28am - work - by titillating (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was shaving naked in my cold bathroom before showering. My wife walked up behind me, yelled "Shrinkage!" and flicked the head of my penis as hard as she could. FML

#19261628
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30926) - you deserved it (4088)

On 03/12/2012 at 12:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a guy came by my house and demanded my fiancé come out and fight. He explained that my fiancé had been stupid enough to not only troll on a local interest forum, but to leave his name and our address, inviting people to "come shut me up if you think you're tough enough." FML

#19260782
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24487) - you deserved it (3031)

On 03/11/2012 at 10:49pm - misc - by me (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I watched Gigli. FML

#19259305
265 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7870) - you deserved it (25326)

On 03/11/2012 at 7:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was the 10th caller on a radio show. I answered the question correctly. The DJ informed I won a free air guitar of my choosing. I yelled with excitement over the air. The DJ then instructed me how to use my new air guitar. FML

#19245135
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9735) - you deserved it (31561)

On 03/09/2012 at 11:55am - misc - by h4rdy (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my history teacher confiscated my iPhone. She dropped it on the way back to her desk, and I now have a shattered iPhone screen to fix. FML

#19233379
429 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27156) - you deserved it (28066)

On 03/07/2012 at 2:25pm - misc - by sad face - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I get to stand in the unemployment line for the second time in a year because my company can't pay me. My parents own the company. FML

#19181051
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26667) - you deserved it (2706)

On 02/28/2012 at 8:27am - work - by Jaxur05 - United States



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