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Today, I was in English when I had to use the bathroom. As I was signing out, the teacher said "Don't forget the hall pass!" It was a plunger. I have to walk across my school with a plunger. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18194) - you deserved it (3397)
Today, just after waking up, I caught a glimpse of my girlfriend in the mirror. Not knowing I was awake, she sniffed at her armpits, started gagging, then quietly came back to bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23206) - you deserved it (2813)
On 09/02/2011 at 12:31pm - love - by Harry Dare - United Kingdom (Walsall)
Today, during our wedding, my wife tried to dodge The Kiss. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42656) - you deserved it (2621)
On 08/20/2011 at 12:41am - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, I had a cop pull me over because he claimed that he saw me taking a bunch of colorful pills at the previous stop sign. I was eating skittles. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32039) - you deserved it (2007)
On 08/17/2011 at 5:50pm - misc - by candymansvan17 - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I met my new neighbor. His wi-fi access point is named "TheRapistDownstairs." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31229) - you deserved it (2512)
On 08/15/2011 at 8:30pm - misc - by creepedoutlady - United States
Today, I received a message on Facebook from a guy I've liked for a year. He asked me if I wanted to hang out, so I said yes. When I walked out to his car later on, he gave me a really confused look. Apparently I was on my brother's Facebook, and he'd never logged out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28314) - you deserved it (8421)
On 08/15/2011 at 12:20pm - love - by Leota (woman) - United States (Nebraska)
Today, a girl came into my salon to permanently straighten her really long and curly hair. After several long hours, I went to the counter to charge her. She ran out faster than an Olympic runner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29709) - you deserved it (1891)
On 08/14/2011 at 8:47pm - work - by theultimatesalonfail - United States
Today, I found out that my son had sold his house key to one of his friends for half a packet of gum. Now there is someone out there who I have never met with full access to my house. My son is 16. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26208) - you deserved it (3601)
On 08/08/2011 at 2:45am - kids - by Jilly (woman) - Australia
Today, I found that there is nothing worse than coming home to a snake slithering across your kitchen floor. Except when it disappears into your cabinets. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21263) - you deserved it (2138)
On 08/06/2011 at 10:49pm - misc - by Tim (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, my eight year old son came to me and said he thinks it's time he started wearing bras. It turns out his older brother has been mind-fucking him for the past several months and has him convinced it's something all boys his age do. I can't convince him otherwise. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28576) - you deserved it (2524)
On 08/06/2011 at 7:37pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, my eight year old son came to me and said he thinks it's time he started wearing bras. It turns out his older brother has been mind-fucking him for the past several months and has him convinced it's something all boys his age do. I can't convince him otherwise. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28576) - you deserved it (2524)
On 08/06/2011 at 7:37pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, while leaving work, I noticed a woman struggling with her wheelchair. Trying to be kind, I grabbed the handles and began to push her. A few moments later, the front wheels caught on something and I ended up dumping her onto the ground. Now my coworkers all think I'm a huge douche. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24649) - you deserved it (3570)
On 08/02/2011 at 9:47pm - work - by t2t2sync - United States (New York)
Today, my boyfriend decided it'd be funny to create a "place" on Facebook for my vagina. Now he "checks-in" every time we have sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43419) - you deserved it (7603)
On 08/02/2011 at 12:52am - intimacy - by INside (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I woke up to a scream downstairs. My 13 year-old daughter was trying to bite her little brother's neck. No matter how hard I try, she will not believe that she is NOT and NEVER WILL BE a vampire. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32062) - you deserved it (4371)
On 07/18/2011 at 11:17am - kids - by xBubbles38 - United States
Today, I was driving when I saw a spider hanging from the ceiling of my car. I'm terrified of spiders, so I was watching it instead the road. When I looked back at the road, I had just enough time to swerve to miss the fire hydrant but not the tree. Even the cop laughed at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8324) - you deserved it (19775)
On 01/12/2011 at 8:29am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)
Monday 17 June 2013
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