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nerofirst

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nerofirst

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  • Number of visits : 201
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 2 posted

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nerofirst's page activity

Visits<b>bmsalinas</b> - the 08/19/2011 at 9:38pm

nerofirst's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

nerofirst's favorite FMLs

Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML

#17981940
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44987) - you deserved it (5042)

On 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm - kids - by MLGreco - United States

Today, I overheard my husband talking to our 6 year-old about animals for a project. I listened, thinking it was cute, until my husband said gleefully, "Remember to say this in your project: octopuses have 8 testicles." FML

#17973930
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26668) - you deserved it (3131)

On 10/13/2011 at 8:24am - kids - by daddoesn'tknowbest - United States

Today, I was on a drive with my uncle. We saw a dead deer on the side of the road and expressed our pity for it. Then a squirrel runs across the road and my uncle swerves toward the squirrel, laughing hysterically and yelling, "Run rodent run." FML

#17965176
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24790) - you deserved it (3754)

On 10/12/2011 at 1:14am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, while my boyfriend was asleep, I gave him a soft kiss and whispered how handsome and gentle he looked. His response, still asleep, was to roll over and let out a massive fart. FML

#17919318
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27961) - you deserved it (10058)

On 10/06/2011 at 11:23am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I'd just finished feeding my parrot and sweeping all the seeds under the cage. As I was walking away, my parrot whistled. I turned around to see him get up onto the food dish, pick up a clawful of food and toss it on the floor. FML

Today, I found out my roommate thinks the sink is an appropriate place to wash his junk. FML

#17617365
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22663) - you deserved it (2374)

On 08/29/2011 at 11:56pm - misc - by SinkyBalls - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my house was raided for drugs. I had to find out my father is a drug dealer. The cops then told me this wasn't their first time here, but it was the first time I was home to see it. They said it was nice to finally meet me. FML

#17375446
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48169) - you deserved it (2394)

On 08/05/2011 at 4:41am - misc - by thehumanshield - United States (California)

Today, I realized that as a U.S. Marine in the infantry, I'm more afraid to talk to girls than I am of getting shot at. FML

#17352313
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40996) - you deserved it (5496)

On 08/03/2011 at 3:40am - love - by Tim - United States

Today, I found out that the crazy old man that sleep walks naked around my neighborhood every night is my grandpa. And he's not sleepwalking. FML

#17340162
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32217) - you deserved it (2523)

On 08/02/2011 at 2:46am - misc - by Username - United States

Today, I was at the airport. A creepy man smiled at me, so I politely smiled back. I then realized his shirt said "Smile if you take it in the ass." He then winked at me and walked off. FML

#17315983
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39615) - you deserved it (13241)

On 07/31/2011 at 1:11am - intimacy - by creepedout - United States

Today, I looked out my window to see the sunset, but instead I see my neighbor dancing with strobe lights on and music blasting. He was by himself and had absolutely nothing on. FML

#16978964
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28858) - you deserved it (3808)

On 07/04/2011 at 10:38pm - intimacy - by danam - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went on my first official date I've been on since my divorce. Things were going great until he ordered his fourth 32oz beer; he got hammered and became a horny octopus. Oh, and he farted whiled trying to give me a goodnight kiss. FML

#15804497
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34401) - you deserved it (4232)

On 04/16/2011 at 4:39am - love - by Username - United States

Today, I opened the cabinet to take a pill for my headache. After taking the pill, I turned around and smashed my head on the open cabinet door. FML

#7475893
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25037) - you deserved it (6992)

On 01/21/2010 at 3:20pm - health - by imalwaystired - Sent from mobile version

Today, I realized why my bathroom has been smelling so bad. My 10-year-old son has been peeing on the radiator, thinking it's fun to watch it steam and sizzle. FML

#7257345
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31781) - you deserved it (2821)

On 01/10/2010 at 12:17pm - kids - by Amber (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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