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nerisseee

Offline (the 06/14/2015 at 11:54am) | Search for a member

nerisseee

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 398
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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nerisseee's favorite FMLs

Today, while on a date, I desperately let out a stealth fart in my date's car. I didn't have the nerve to own up to it, even as he started panicking and thinking the smell was coming from his engine. FML

#21374172
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27416) - you deserved it (7707)

On 03/14/2015 at 12:27am - misc - by thecarisfine (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, while flirting with a cute nurse at my dad's bedside, I accidentally let a noxious fart slip out and she thought the foul smell came from my sleeping father soiling himself. I let her roll him over and check his ass while he cried out in pain because I wasn't man enough to own up to it. FML

#21369082
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44) - you deserved it (168)

On 03/06/2015 at 1:18am - health - by UncleMonkey (man) - United States (California)

Today, after a 7 year dry spell, I finally got laid. The downside? It was in my dreams and involved a character from My Little Pony forcing itself on me. Now I hate that fucking stupid show more than ever. FML

#21365913
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31269) - you deserved it (6496)

On 03/01/2015 at 2:24pm - intimacy - by love and tolerape, apparently (man) - India (Jharkhand)

Today, my drunken mom began to frantically scream "YEAH" "WOO HOO" and "ALRIGHT" at some kindergarteners that were singing Amazing Grace in honor of a restaurant owner who had recently died. FML

#21365671
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30547) - you deserved it (2139)

On 03/01/2015 at 2:07am - misc - by RadioactiveKush - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend and I tried roleplaying a teacher-student during sex. We're both studying to be actors, so we ended up going into a really deep, emotional storyline that didn't end in sex at all. FML

#21284275
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37795) - you deserved it (10995)

On 10/24/2014 at 6:54am - intimacy - by too good - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I was at the mall with my young daughter. I hate pooping in public but I really had to go so I brought her in with me. Thinking we were alone, I started to go and my daughter yelled, "Good job, mommy, you're using the potty like a big girl!" I then heard laughing. FML

#21283795
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37269) - you deserved it (4567)

On 10/23/2014 at 2:43pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my hand was stung by a wasp. It has resulted in all my fingers being swollen and therefore much bigger than usual. I'm getting married tomorrow and there's no way I can get the ring on my finger. FML

#21268375
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41501) - you deserved it (2986)

On 09/30/2014 at 2:46pm - health - by Tampax - Spain (Castilla-La Mancha)

Today, my drunk husband came home, got into bed, and started humping the body pillow. He ended up whining about how I hadn't come yet, then angrily slurred that I must be cheating on him. All I could do was stay quiet and wonder how the idiot even made it home alive. FML

#21266933
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48378) - you deserved it (3558)

On 09/28/2014 at 11:30am - intimacy - by tw@ (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I realized how weak I truly am when I tore a muscle in my hand trying to discreetly fix a wedgie. FML

#21266558
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30530) - you deserved it (5580)

On 09/27/2014 at 7:55pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend tried to be dominant during sex. It was so out of character for him, I couldn't help but break into hysterical laughter. FML

#21266104
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36983) - you deserved it (9489)

On 09/26/2014 at 11:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand

Today, I'm sick with the worst head cold of my life. For some reason whenever I cough, I also fart. Everyone thinks I'm just trying to cover up flatulence with fake coughing. FML

#21266077
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35435) - you deserved it (3254)

On 09/26/2014 at 10:46pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I won a gruelling fitness competition, only to find out the mystery prize was a voucher to get 10 free spray tans. I'm black. FML

#21249089
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48407) - you deserved it (4003)

On 08/31/2014 at 2:44pm - misc - by disappointedjamaican - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, while finally about to make love with my long term boyfriend, he came from putting a condom on. FML

#21249014
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49273) - you deserved it (5583)

On 08/31/2014 at 11:14am - intimacy - by anon - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend was entertaining himself by shoving tampons up his nose and seeing how far across the bed he could blow them. This man is the father of my son. FML

#21248639
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37555) - you deserved it (9501)

On 08/30/2014 at 7:11pm - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I woke up to the sight of a dead fly on my bedside table, being eaten by a swarm of ants. I screamed so bad that my dad said he thought my sister was being murdered in my room. FML

#21248448
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32502) - you deserved it (5772)

On 08/30/2014 at 12:40pm - misc - by liilii (man) - India (Kerala)



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