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Today, I learned that if you stare at your cat and her eyes suddenly get really big, it means she's going to maul your face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6860) - you totally deserved it (12879)
On 11/18/2009 at 4:01pm - misc - by nycplywood (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today I realized why my 50 year old Dad's 30 something girlfriend looked so familiar. She is in all my parents wedding photos... as the flower girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20783) - you totally deserved it (588)
On 11/17/2009 at 10:18pm - misc - by usmcgirl (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I ran outside to start my car before leaving for work. My creepy neighbor was sitting outside smoking a cigarette. He told me he just loves watching TLC, too, and we should watch TV together sometime. I've never talked to him. I watch TLC in my bedroom. He watches me through my window. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20929) - you totally deserved it (1054)
On 11/17/2009 at 11:01am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I broke up with my boyfriend whom I love dearly because he doesn't share his feelings and won't commit. Yesterday, he wrote me a long love letter telling me he wanted to marry me. One of my kids had shoved it under my printer and I didn't find it until after he had moved out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15544) - you totally deserved it (4874)
On 11/16/2009 at 11:13pm - misc - by lynxstorm - United States (Illinois)
Today, after months of trying to potty train my son, he finally told me he used the potty. I went to the bathroom to check. There was nothing there. So I asked him "Where did you go to the potty?". He then grabbed my hand and took me to the cat's litter box. My son has successfully litter trained himself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15223) - you totally deserved it (1546)
On 11/16/2009 at 1:00am - kids - by anonymous (woman) - Japan (Okinawa)
Today, I found out that my dad has been having an affair. With my formerly favorite teacher. The best part? Yesterday, she announced to the class that she was pregnant. I clapped and congratulated her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22941) - you totally deserved it (734)
On 11/15/2009 at 10:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, a neighbour called to say my water tank burst. A colleague followed me home to help, took off his shirt so it wouldn't get wet and climbed through my window to get to the roof. My boyfriend unexpectedly came home as we were emerging from the bedroom. My colleague was still buttoning his shirt up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24070) - you totally deserved it (2391)
On 11/15/2009 at 3:42am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I was shopping with my baby daughter when an older woman came up to me. She glared and said, "You know, if you kids learned how to keep your legs closed, you wouldn't be a mother at 16." I'm 25. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20462) - you totally deserved it (1562)
On 11/13/2009 at 3:26pm - kids - by notateen (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was walking to the parking lot from class while texting. When I looked up as I approached my parking spot, I noticed the words "F*ck you Dave" keyed into my car. Hi, my name is Clare. Who's Dave? FML
I agree, your life sucks (18865) - you totally deserved it (691)
On 11/13/2009 at 1:35am - misc - by mynameis (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I was reading my students' Halloween stories I made them write for my creative writing class in high school. One of my students wrote about attacking me. She got my street address perfect and everything. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22389) - you totally deserved it (1944)
On 11/12/2009 at 2:17am - kids - by Teaching (man) - United States (California)
Today, I told my boyfriend how happy I was with him. He responded by pulling down his pants and slapping his ass. I have no idea what that was supposed to mean. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18719) - you totally deserved it (3137)
On 11/12/2009 at 2:11am - love - by neuroticallyours (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I started talking to a friend about how he needs to stop overreacting and getting angry very easily. He kicked sand up in the air, and it came back into his eyes. He started getting angry, and when I told him this is what I was talking about, he hit me in the nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15197) - you totally deserved it (3718)
On 11/12/2009 at 1:58am - misc - by angrymadman3542342 (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I went on blind date with a guy because both our moms thought we'd like eachother. Things were going really well until I got up to go to the bathroom and he says: "My mom was right, you do have perfect breedin' hips!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (21077) - you totally deserved it (1806)
On 11/11/2009 at 7:21am - love - by Starchyld (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I told my friends I had been hiding something that I wanted to come clean on. My one friend responds by saying, "FINALLY you come out of the closet. It's about time." I'm not gay. I was just going to tell them my parents were getting a divorce. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15719) - you totally deserved it (2180)
On 11/10/2009 at 11:25am - misc - by ClosetMishap (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my wife told me that she's pregnant. I said "Really?" in a disbelieving tone, but leaned forward to kiss her anyway. She responded by puking all over my face. Never doubt what a woman says. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16040) - you totally deserved it (5216)
On 11/10/2009 at 4:00am - love - by dessaye (man) - Singapore
