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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was running the register at my work and this big lady pulls her wad of cash out of her bra and hands it to me. The bills she handed me were moist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (66836) - you deserved it (2436)
On 04/21/2009 at 2:12pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)
Today, my husband and I were looking for a new house. The open house we were in had a strange floral scent to entice the buyers. I am three months pregnant and have horrible morning sickness. I threw up all over the living room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40514) - you deserved it (3245)
On 04/21/2009 at 11:15am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my boyfriend decided to take me to dinner to meet his parents. As we pulled into the restaurant valet I saw a woman in a slutty dress and hooker heels get out of the car ahead of us. I jokingly asked if we had accidentally pulled into a strip club pointing to the woman. It was his mother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20293) - you deserved it (51102)
On 04/20/2009 at 3:59am - misc - by SuperBunny (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I saw a spider crawling on the floor but had nothing to kill it with and it hid somewhere. So, I got dressed and went out and come home for a shower, and as I'm taking off my undies, something crushed and black fell out. It was the spider and he had been in my underwear the entire day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58413) - you deserved it (5360)
On 04/19/2009 at 8:17pm - animals - by yuckspider (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was petsitting for my neighbor's new puppy. A huge thunderstorm came, and the puppy started whining and shivering violently. I pulled it into my lap to try and comfort it. One loud clap of thunder later, and the puppy had explosive diarrhea all over me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (73394) - you deserved it (6235)
On 04/16/2009 at 5:36pm - misc - by Puppysit88 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I saw a commercial for some sort of meaty beef dish. The camera zoomed in and my mouth watered because it looked so delicious. Then flashed the next scene: golden retrievers running through a field and eating from their bowl. My mouth just watered for a dog food commerical. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36664) - you deserved it (18209)
On 04/15/2009 at 2:19am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I performed in my school play. Right before my big solo, I noticed a few girls changing backstage and I became aroused. The play was Jesus Christ Superstar, and I was playing Jesus. All I was wearing was a little cloth, so the whole audience saw Jesus get hard during the crucifixion. FML
I agree, your life sucks (82219) - you deserved it (30308)
On 04/14/2009 at 11:27pm - intimacy - by jizzlemonster13 (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was talking to a guy I met online and have known for 4 years. I've fallen in love with him twice, one of those times being currently. He was supposed to visit this summer. I got an email from him saying he's really a 17 year old girl from Chesterfield, MO. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25290) - you deserved it (70539)
On 04/14/2009 at 9:45am - love - by oxbbabexo (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was working as a swim instructor for kids. Teaching them not to be afraid of the water, I put my face in the water and blew bubbles. I asked them to try it. All of them did, except for one. I went right to him and blew bubbles again. He then said to me, "but I just peed in that water." FML
I agree, your life sucks (75764) - you deserved it (6601)
On 04/14/2009 at 4:51am - kids - by poolboy (man) - United States (Nevada)
Today, I got 20% tints on my car. As I'm driving home, a cop pulls me over. I didn't want to ruin my new tint by opening my window, so I opened my door as the cop approached. He then pulled out his gun and yelled "GET ON THE FUCKING GROUND!" before I could explain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34465) - you deserved it (48400)
On 04/13/2009 at 3:41pm - misc - by italy1986 (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, half asleep, I dropped my pill before I could take it. I quickly picked it up and washed it down. Five hours later, I just found my pill on the ground. What did I swallow? FML
I agree, your life sucks (86392) - you deserved it (17605)
On 04/13/2009 at 12:12pm - misc - by anonymiss (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my fish's tank was all green and nasty, but I had no time to clean it because I woke up late, so the job was left to my mom. When I came back, the water level seemed high, and the fish looked a little strange, so I asked my mom what she did. She said "I cleaned the tank with chlorine!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (38348) - you deserved it (23036)
On 03/17/2009 at 12:34am - animals - by Poorfish (man) - United States (California)
Today, a girl-scout asked me to buy cookies, in front of Giant. She looked nice, so I bought 5 boxes from her. She took the money and went home with her mom. I opened the boxes when I got home and realized that the boxes just had rocks in them. I got scammed by a girl-scout. FML
I agree, your life sucks (172093) - you deserved it (24860)
On 03/15/2009 at 9:14pm - money - by twit (man) - United States (Maryland)
Monday 20 May 2013
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