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nephisab

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nephisab

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  • Number of visits : 2221
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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nephisab's page activity

Visits<b>crapmaster3000</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 9:05am

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nephisab's favorite FMLs

Today, my family was preparing a turkey for my grandma's birthday dinner when my aunt noticed a utensil on the counter and asked what it was for. My mom said it was used to keep the turkey's legs together. My aunt responded to her by saying, "Maybe you should get one for your daughter." FML

#1690188
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (98085) - you deserved it (22504)

On 05/06/2009 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Familyskank (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I found a box of birthday candles sitting on the coffee table. Bored, I lit one, and after a minute I threw it away and sat back down on the couch. I started looking at the box and noticed that it said "Magic Re-Lighting Candles" at the exact moment that my trash can burst into flames. FML

#1631197
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25708) - you deserved it (69746)

On 05/04/2009 at 4:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I sent everyone a text on my phone book saying, "Happy Star Wars Day!!! May the Fourth be with you!!" I forgot to uncheck my exgirlfriend's number. She texted back, "one of the many reasons I broke up with you." FML

#1628197
357 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25376) - you deserved it (67091)

On 05/04/2009 at 3:04pm - misc - by 1suckatL1fe - United States (Virginia)

Today, while at the bakeshop, I got bored waiting in line so I decided to sit on the glass case protecting cupcakes. Turns out there was no glass. I had to pay $50 to cover all the mess and had to walk out of the bakeshop with icing all over my butt. FML

#1618603
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10998) - you deserved it (71656)

On 05/04/2009 at 3:34am - misc - by kandi (woman) - Philippines (Bulacan)

Today, an ant bit my penis. That was the first 'mouth' to ever touch it. FML

#1382761
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (89260) - you deserved it (21490)

On 04/27/2009 at 2:14am - misc - by hjgjh - United States (California)

Today, I started my period. I am getting married tomorrow. So, not only am I going to be on my period for my wedding night and honeymoon, my best friend has to help me change my pad because my dress is so big. FML

#1292043
390 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73313) - you deserved it (8684)

On 04/24/2009 at 3:50pm - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was eating a hamburger on the street when a pigeon came down to take a bite. I ran and got 30 birds or so chasing me. My legs were burning, half of my burger was gone, and an entire office building was laughing at me. FML

#1216393
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51358) - you deserved it (8603)

On 04/22/2009 at 6:40am - animals - by fencernick (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I went on somewhat of a blind date. The date was OK until he tried to spoon feed me. This didn't go over so well. Later, I noticed a strange looking brief case he was carrying. I asked him what it was and he whipped out 5 yoyos and did a yoyo show in the middle of the restaurant. FML

#1214403
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59298) - you deserved it (6150)

On 04/22/2009 at 1:24am - misc - by 11321 (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, due to the cold, windy weather, I decided to wear my brand-new cute (and expensive) jacket that has a faux-fur hood. As I walked down the street, numerous PETA members attacked me with red liquid. I'm a Vegan and an animal-rights activist. FML

#1200531
468 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60807) - you deserved it (22547)

On 04/21/2009 at 6:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my husband and I were looking for a new house. The open house we were in had a strange floral scent to entice the buyers. I am three months pregnant and have horrible morning sickness. I threw up all over the living room. FML

#1189680
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46073) - you deserved it (4188)

On 04/21/2009 at 11:15am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend decided to take me to dinner to meet his parents. As we pulled into the restaurant valet I saw a woman in a slutty dress and hooker heels get out of the car ahead of us. I jokingly asked if we had accidentally pulled into a strip club pointing to the woman. It was his mother. FML

#1146532
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23971) - you deserved it (56018)

On 04/20/2009 at 3:59am - misc - by SuperBunny (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I saw a spider crawling on the floor but had nothing to kill it with and it hid somewhere. So, I got dressed and went out and come home for a shower, and as I'm taking off my undies, something crushed and black fell out. It was the spider and he had been in my underwear the entire day. FML

#1131048
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66184) - you deserved it (6899)

On 04/19/2009 at 8:17pm - animals - by yuckspider (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



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