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nephisab

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nephisab

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  • Number of visits : 2370
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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nephisab's page activity

Visits<b>crapmaster3000</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 9:05am

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nephisab's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to my girlfriend's Catholic all girls high school to ask her to prom by decorating her car. As soon as I walked on campus the school went into lock down because of a "suspicious male intruder." When I saw my girlfriend, she denied knowing me. I was arrested. FML

#2109937
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69891) - you deserved it (6523)

On 05/20/2009 at 11:11am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, when done feeding my newborn, I stated to my husband that I'm a cow. He said, in a sincere tone, "Oh, baby, you'll lose the weight soon." I meant cow because I'm producing so much milk. FML

#1987412
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46990) - you deserved it (19219)

On 05/16/2009 at 5:41pm - love - by Heifer (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was shopping at a supermarket. As I was about to pay for my items, I noticed the cashier was very cute. Trying to be nice, I smiled. She smiled back and said "Hello, how are you?" Instead of saying "I'm good" or "I'm okay", I said "I'm gay". FML

#1972272
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59020) - you deserved it (23433)

On 05/16/2009 at 5:13am - misc - by UncleRory (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I decided to shave my legs completely to be more confident in my dress. I spent over an hour making sure my legs were perfectly shaved. It wasn't until I had been out awhile that I realized I forgot to shave my armpits. FML

#1904436
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20140) - you deserved it (47803)

On 05/13/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, it's my birthday. After a day out partying, I came home to find all my stuff smashed in the yard, even my 42" plasma TV. After asking my girlfriend what her problem was, she said a "slut" left a message on the machine stating how fun last night was. It turned out to be my mom. FML

#1893907
353 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82352) - you deserved it (4490)

On 05/13/2009 at 1:11am - misc - by chaos2007 - United States (Texas)

Today, I went out to a nice restaurant for my friend's birthday. I went to the bathroom and heard the woman in the other stall crying. She couldn't pull her underwear up over her obese, old-lady ass because her arms don't reach that far anymore. I was the only one there. I had no choice. FML

#1866535
381 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74975) - you deserved it (10812)

On 05/12/2009 at 3:19am - health - by bathroomseww (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got pulled over heading home from college. My car was full of my stuff from moving out and I couldn't reach the glove box. I told the cop this, and asked if he wanted me to go around to the passenger side to get my paperwork. He agreed. When I got out of the car he pepper sprayed me. FML

#1844293
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (132228) - you deserved it (8610)

On 05/11/2009 at 2:55pm - work - by Ilovelife07 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I realized what my mom has been calling me for 20 years. She always calls me her "little fehler." With her being from Germany, I always thought it was a cute little nickname. Apparently, she's been calling me her "little mistake." FML

#1837844
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (93168) - you deserved it (5099)

On 05/11/2009 at 5:09am - misc - by mistake (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I missed my flight because I was stopped by airport security. They found "small, suspicious, spherical objects" in my purse on the X-ray. After pulling me out of line, taking my purse aside and carefully opening it with tongs, they removed the bag of grapes I had packed as a snack. FML

#1808488
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49232) - you deserved it (10238)

On 05/10/2009 at 10:18am - misc - by Ya - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got rear-ended at a stoplight by a woman who had been doing her make-up while driving. She didn't get out to see if I was okay until she had finished perfectly applying both lipliner and gloss. FML

#1806143
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52687) - you deserved it (2242)

On 05/10/2009 at 5:56am - misc - by disturbed (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, while working my job as a cashier, one of the customers that came to the register was a midget. As part of store policy, I had to ID him, and his driver's license said he was from Florida. So I asked, without catching myself, "How's the weather down there?" FML

#1793303
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30306) - you deserved it (47835)

On 05/09/2009 at 10:05pm - work - by Failoffel (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I thought it would be funny if I put a 'Free if Hot-Wired' sign on my friend's car. I guess it worked. FML

#1766885
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8085) - you deserved it (77309)

On 05/09/2009 at 12:18am - misc - by t-dawg (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I found out that my husband named our daughter after his favorite porn star. FML

#1749459
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (138471) - you deserved it (14105)

On 05/08/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by Oblivious (woman) - Kuwait

Today, I was walking to class with my roommate. She didn't notice the car coming up behind her because her headphones were in. As I pulled her out of the way, she thought I was goofing around and shoved me back... in front of the car. I got hit and rolled off the hood. FML

#1719560
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (115349) - you deserved it (5647)

On 05/07/2009 at 3:11pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Italy (Toscana)

Today, I realized my wedding ring was missing. Turns out, my son had taken it to give to a girl he likes in the 2nd grade. FML

#1706797
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71602) - you deserved it (8075)

On 05/06/2009 at 11:47pm - kids - by fmal (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



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