This member hasn't filled in the description.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was cooking. I leaned over the stove to preheat the oven, and burned my nipple on a pot of boiling water. I also have a teething son who is breastfeeding. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31358) - you deserved it (7778)
On 10/25/2009 at 2:42pm - misc - by roadbikemama (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I discovered that when you're the maid of honor giving a toast at your best friend's wedding, it's important to make sure the zipper on your dress is secured. Otherwise, your bare breasts and Hello Kitty panties could end up exposed to a wedding party of 600 people. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33488) - you deserved it (6169)
On 10/24/2009 at 12:11pm - misc - by meg265 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I had an argument with my wife. I told her to get back in the kitchen. How does she respond? By doing what I told her to do, and returning to hit me with a frying pan. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6483) - you deserved it (89603)
On 10/13/2009 at 2:54am - love - by PanFace (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I got a job at McDonald's because I've been really needing money. After work, I got some food with the Monopoly pieces. I completed the set for $5,000, but I can't claim it because I work for McDonald's. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29547) - you deserved it (2754)
On 10/13/2009 at 1:41am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Iowa)
Today, I was at soccer camp and was hit in the face with a ball. I walked to the nurse and asked for a napkin or tissues to help stop the bleeding. The only thing she could come up with? A tampon. I spent 20 minutes with a tampon shoved up my nostril in front of my laughing teammates. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19633) - you deserved it (2459)
On 10/12/2009 at 8:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maine)
Today, I tried to surprise my boyfriend over webcam with a cute negligee. He was doing homework. Half an hour later, he finally noticed. Apparently pre-calc is more interesting than his girlfriend. I guess polynomials are just curvier than me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12622) - you deserved it (25846)
On 10/07/2009 at 12:39am - love - by NotAParabola (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I was walking out of class when I saw a girl enthusiastically run to her boyfriend, jump on him, and smother him with kisses. I thought to myself "I wish my girlfriend did that." When the girl jumped off and turned around I realized she did, just not to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46085) - you deserved it (2128)
On 10/06/2009 at 8:04pm - misc - by zitroskies (man) - United States (California)
Today, I joined a dating website and spent all day filling out and improving my profile. My first match is a guy who relentlessly tried to date me for all 4 years of high school. Now he just has more reasons to tell me how much we're meant to be. We're a 97% match. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29690) - you deserved it (12228)
On 09/25/2009 at 2:16pm - love - by looking (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I joined a dating website and spent all day filling out and improving my profile. My first match is a guy who relentlessly tried to date me for all 4 years of high school. Now he just has more reasons to tell me how much we're meant to be. We're a 97% match. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29690) - you deserved it (12228)
On 09/25/2009 at 2:16pm - love - by looking (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I got my first tattoo. When I showed my boyfriend, he asked where I got the design. I told him I saw it in a sketch book of his. He designed it for his last girlfriend, who got it in the same place. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14011) - you deserved it (40966)
On 09/18/2009 at 6:01pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I had a blind date with a girl someone in my office set me up with. Before the waitress returned with our drinks, this girl asked me to go to her parent's house and pretend to be the father of her yet unborn child because the real father is a drug addict and in jail for stealing her dad's car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37344) - you deserved it (2179)
On 09/18/2009 at 3:23pm - misc - by oh_its_true (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I had a blind date with a girl someone in my office set me up with. Before the waitress returned with our drinks, this girl asked me to go to her parent's house and pretend to be the father of her yet unborn child because the real father is a drug addict and in jail for stealing her dad's car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37344) - you deserved it (2179)
On 09/18/2009 at 3:23pm - misc - by oh_its_true (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was in class, playing online poker and keeping up my winning record. I eventually got seated against a guy who beat me at every hand. I heard laughing behind me after I lost all my winnings. The guy behind me had just made an account, looked over my shoulder, and won all my money. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11745) - you deserved it (36640)
On 09/18/2009 at 3:15pm - money - by shushingmoon (man) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I pulled someone over for speeding. He was only 10 over the speed limit so I gave him an $84 fine. It turns out he is a workplace Occupational Health and Safety officer and because I wasn't wearing my high visibilty vest while standing on the side of the road he gave me a $250 fine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17935) - you deserved it (61034)
On 09/17/2009 at 6:57am - work - by auscop (man) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, after picking up my 6 year old from school, he says, "Drew said his dad could beat you up." I told him that he needs to respect his own father more and stand up for me! I get home, look up his class roster and low and behold, Drew's dad beat me up in Jr. High. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23287) - you deserved it (14726)
On 09/11/2009 at 4:11pm - work - by jeph23 (man) - United States (Nebraska)
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
