nephisab

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nephisab

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2999
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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nephisab's page activity

Visits<b>crapmaster3000</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 9:05am

nephisab's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

nephisab's favorite FMLs

Today, I gave my wife her anniversary card. She started to giggle then walked in our bedroom and came back with the exact same card from last year. This is the second time I've done this. FML

by todayJman03 / 12/22/2009 at 8:03am / United States (Hawaii) / Miscellaneous

Today, I texted my Dad to tell him I'm staying at my boyfriend's house and won't be home. Since I had predictive text on, my phone didn't quite get the word 'home' - the message I sent said, 'I'm staying at Will's, I'll not be good tonight.' FML

by embarrassed / 12/20/2009 at 7:26pm / United Kingdom (Belfast) / Love

Today, I decided to attach fifteen-pound weights to each foot so I could burn some extra calories while shoveling snow. My dad asked me to move one of the cars in the driveway. When I put my foot on the gas pedal, I couldn't take it off. I ended up hitting my sister and knocking her into a snow bank. FML

by Klamp18 / 12/20/2009 at 3:28pm / United States (New York) / Transportation

Today, I came home to find my room completely torn apart. My mom and dad start yelling at me asking me why I am doing drugs because she found a tiny baggie on the floor. It was the little bag that spare buttons come in when you buy a dress shirt. FML

by Theo / 12/18/2009 at 1:52am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my colleague rushed off to the hospital for the birth of his first son. Having met his wife at the Christmas party a couple of years ago, I called to congratulate her. Shame I didn't realize it was his mistress having the baby. Guess who broke the news to the wife. FML

by RBEE / 12/12/2009 at 1:02pm / Miscellaneous

Today, my grandpa was wearing flip flops and white socks. He entered my restroom, and the moment he did it, I realized there was no toilet paper left. I felt too ashamed to interrupt his dump, so I waited for him to ask for paper, he never did and came out without socks. FML

by dayum / 12/10/2009 at 4:03pm / Mexico (Chihuahua) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend invited me for dinner to meet his parents. Turns out his stepmother is my gynecologist. FML

by Twiddle / 12/07/2009 at 2:00am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finished a 50 page term end thesis essay on the history of Russia. Looking over the final requirements once more, I find I made just a tiny little mistake. It was supposed to be a thesis on "Prussia". The paper's due tomorrow. FML

by WTFFAIL / 12/03/2009 at 4:08am / United States (New York) / Work

Today, I realized that our generation will be remembered as the kids who liked sparkly vampires. FML

by buhknee / 11/24/2009 at 7:08pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went on a date and it was going great. When we got our meals, he told me I had to try what he was having, and he fed me a bite. I said something like "oh that was cute" and he replied with "I was just trying to see how big your mouth is." FML

by OpenWide / 11/23/2009 at 10:22pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, I used text-to-speech just so that I can hear "I love you" for once. FML

by lonelyman / 11/20/2009 at 2:29am / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, I thought my online boyfriend was calling me, so the first line I said was "Hey, Baby." His wife answered with, "This is Jenny. Who's this?" After speaking for thirty minutes, I found out he's married, fifty-eight, and has two kids. I'm seventeen. FML

by omgitserika / 11/18/2009 at 10:09am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was shopping with my baby daughter when an older woman came up to me. She glared and said, "You know, if you kids learned how to keep your legs closed, you wouldn't be a mother at 16." I'm 25. FML

by notateen / 11/13/2009 at 3:26pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I drove 600 miles to be with my boyfriend of two years for his uncle's funeral. He didn't want me to come because I am seven months pregnant and flying is dangerous in the third trimester. When I got there I don't know who was more suprised to see me: him, his wife, or their kids. FML

by homewrecker / 11/08/2009 at 10:39am / United States / Love

Today, I was reading in my bed, and my cat was lying on my chest. I noticed something white on my cat's leg. I'm far-sighted and wasn't wearing my glasses, so I didn't see what it was. I touched it and put on my glasses. Turns out it was a worm hanging out of my cat's anus. It started wiggling. FML

by K.H / 10/26/2009 at 12:42pm / Sweden (Dalarnas Lan) / Animals