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neonvortex

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neonvortex

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2862
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About neonvortex : just your average FML addict (with the exception of commenting :p)

neonvortex's page activity

Visits<b>CelticKing</b> - 10 hours ago<b>andy594328</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 3:44am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 6:02pm<b>BFons</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 2:33am<b>Garrett2818</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 2:27am<b>1two3four5six</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 12:36am<b>Fuaaad1994</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 5:44pm<b>715chiefs</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 6:32pm<b>vividpictures</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 7:43pm<b>Ichiya</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 6:36pm<b>domclark94</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 12:14pm<b>elly94</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 2:56am<b>Mons</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 4:14am<b>inner_peace</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 10:35pm<b>Bulldozer36</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 12:12pm<b>Miku01</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 5:12pm<b>decimater</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 4:44pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 12:45pm

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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neonvortex's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out what a lightweight my girlfriend is. After having a couple of drinks, she began flirting, then grabbed my ass. She felt around a bit before freaking out and asking where my penis was. FML

#21067583
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46028) - you deserved it (5309)

On 02/21/2014 at 12:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz)

Today, I walked into my apartment and smelled something extremely repugnant. I asked my roommate what had happened and she said, "I didn't know how else to kill it!" She'd trapped a bat that was in our apartment, put it in the oven, and set it to 400 degrees. FML

#21067130
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49035) - you deserved it (3950)

On 02/20/2014 at 11:10pm - misc - by BakedBat (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I went to the arcade with my dad, and we decided to try out the hurricane simulator, which blasts 60mph air around in an enclosed space. My dad farted halfway through. FML

#21066497
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43697) - you deserved it (4685)

On 02/20/2014 at 12:45pm - misc - by begging for air - United States (Oregon)

Today, I had satanic gastric distress. Attempting to make light of this fact, and, being incredibly bored and seemingly alone at work, I managed to fart the intro to "Smoke on the Water" perfectly. Somebody clapped. FML

Today, my brother and I took our cars to get oil changes. While we were there, a guy asked if we were dating. When we told him we were siblings, he responded with, "So?" FML

Today, feeling magnanimous, I decided to help a frail-looking old lady across a busy street. She managed to "accidentally" hit me in the balls with her cane no fewer than three times before we reached the other side. FML

#21064549
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33625) - you deserved it (3981)

On 02/18/2014 at 3:16pm - misc - by undineA (man) - Greece (Thessaloniki)

Today, my neighbor had a word with me for being "loud in the bedroom" last night. I haven't had any action for two years now, but I was too happy that she thought I'd got lucky to tell her the truth. So what was I really doing last night? Trying to sing like Christina Aguilera. FML

#21063667
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36306) - you deserved it (6339)

On 02/17/2014 at 7:14pm - misc - by I must suck at singing (woman) - United States

Today, I have Hello Kitty band-aids on my nips because I dozed off while tanning and burned them extra crispy. FML

#21062623
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21892) - you deserved it (38730)

On 02/16/2014 at 5:23pm - health - by extra crispy or original recipe (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband cracked a "rectum? damn near killed him" joke at my grandfather's funeral. He had genuinely spoken without thinking, but his quick gasp and "Oh shit" sounded quite sarcastic. We were both kicked out. My family thinks I put him up to the whole thing. FML

#21062405
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38256) - you deserved it (4278)

On 02/16/2014 at 12:30pm - misc - by shanti (woman) -

Today, I opened up a snapchat from my best friend. I received a full and detailed view of her and her boyfriend having sex. All I wanted to know was how her Valentine's Day dinner went. FML

#21060866
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50320) - you deserved it (8797)

On 02/14/2014 at 10:21pm - intimacy - by waymoreiwanted (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was out with my girlfriend at a club. As a slow dance began, a guy approached and asked, "May I cut in?" My girlfriend surprised me by saying, "Sure!" As I was about to protest, the guy cut me off and said, "Sorry miss, I was asking him." FML

#21059471
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46342) - you deserved it (6549)

On 02/13/2014 at 8:31pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, trying to be a responsible parent, I bought my daughter a pack of condoms in case she ever decided to have sex. She turned them into balloon animals and went back to playing video games. FML

#21059009
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31548) - you deserved it (47641)

On 02/13/2014 at 10:47am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, the boy who sits next to me in class accidentally dropped his sketch pad. It turns out he's really talented at drawing portraits. They're so good that I could recognize myself in all of them. FML

#21058436
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45547) - you deserved it (7080)

On 02/12/2014 at 8:12pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out the real reason my boyfriend kept starting fights with me, and why my best friend kept telling me to break up with him. It was so they could turn their affair into a proper relationship, then twist it around to make me look like a bitch for dumping him. FML

#21058247
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59894) - you deserved it (4441)

On 02/12/2014 at 4:25pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, my house is on lockdown. I recently moved to Georgia from Rhode Island to be with my boyfriend. The state is on high alert for an ice storm. I'm stuck inside with my terrified boyfriend, who's calling it "the storm of the century". I used to walk to school in this weather. FML

#21058111
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46421) - you deserved it (5337)

On 02/12/2014 at 1:25pm - misc - by Stuck - United States (Georgia)



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