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neonvortex

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neonvortex

3Fucked!

neonvortexneonvortex
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 9120
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About neonvortex : been here since 2011. just your average FML addict (with the exception of commenting :p)

neonvortex's page activity

Visits<b>Shayn_25</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 4:45pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 12:14pm<b>moron011</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 10:35pm<b>kaed</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 12:36pm<b>venomXVII</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 9:25am<b>keiNan</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 2:31pm<b>Devindelon</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 1:44am<b>FragrantSalmon</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 9:30am<b>KitchKraft</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 7:25am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 4:58pm<b>ligerzero459</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 10:58am<b>spork_of_doom</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 10:11pm<b>Ardeku</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 10:53pm<b>Mons</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 5:57am<b>Raelthelamb</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 6:40pm<b>p_diddy77</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 11:47am<b>Koizumie</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 3:22am<b>ohnowhyme123</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 9:02am

Fucked!<b>karacakal2</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 6:15pm<b>venomXVII</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 3:25pm<b>olive_r</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 2:00am

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neonvortex's favorite FMLs

Today, during a meal out with my team and bosses, I wasn't drinking. The waiter complained, "If you're not ordering alcohol, how am I supposed to take advantage of you later?" I'm not sure what's worse, the rapey pre-dinner joke or the awkward silence as my colleagues looked on. FML

Today, after seven people at work approaching me and asking me if I was 'that lad from the paper', I picked one up to see what they were talking about. Turns out my doppelganger is a man who brutally murdered his older brother last year. FML

#21367159
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32475) - you deserved it (2027)

On 03/03/2015 at 9:01am - misc - by definatelynotamurderer (man) - United Kingdom

Today, while walking out of a store eating a candy bar, a homeless man tried to run up and steal my candy. I stuck a leg out and tripped him. The only thing I could think of to yell at him was, "Swiper no Swiping". My kids have ruined my coolness. FML

#21366982
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (156) - you deserved it (35)

On 03/02/2015 at 11:57pm - misc - by Dad (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I moved to a big city, alone, from a small town. After convincing myself it wasn't that scary, I hailed my first cab. The driver spent the 30 minute ride from the airport telling me about how "sometimes, you just gotta shoot a guy" because if they steal your shoes, they deserve it. FML

#21366058
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28061) - you deserved it (2491)

On 03/01/2015 at 6:22pm - misc - by smalltownkid - United States (Texas)

Today, after a 7 year dry spell, I finally got laid. The downside? It was in my dreams and involved a character from My Little Pony forcing itself on me. Now I hate that fucking stupid show more than ever. FML

#21365913
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31348) - you deserved it (6510)

On 03/01/2015 at 2:24pm - intimacy - by love and tolerape, apparently (man) - India (Jharkhand)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me for another girl, via a text message ending with "No hard feelings. Well xcept 4 my cock obvs. ;)" Fuck you, Rick. FML

#21365892
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34288) - you deserved it (2587)

On 03/01/2015 at 1:59pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

Today, I was checking the family's computer history, and found that "Shrek Porn" had been searched multiple times. FML

#21365639
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29650) - you deserved it (3080)

On 03/01/2015 at 1:05am - misc - by mszoe - United States (California)

Today, while cleaning my son's room, I found an envelope labelled "PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL" under his bed. I opened it, only to find it was a glitter bomb. I couldn't get it all cleaned off myself before he got home. He just said "HAH! Serves you right!" and went to his room smirking. FML

#21365242
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18786) - you deserved it (55599)

On 02/28/2015 at 1:11pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, while having sex, my fiancé started talking dirty. I enjoyed it, until he had a brain fart and said, "God, you love fucking my pussy." FML

#21364648
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29975) - you deserved it (3180)

On 02/27/2015 at 2:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I am still finding glitter in my ass crack after a concert last night that had a confetti cannon. Thanks Marilyn Manson, I feel so metal now. FML

Today, my boyfriend managed to orgasm by humping my leg. I'm beginning to think I am dating a puppy. FML

#21363602
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31796) - you deserved it (3810)

On 02/25/2015 at 10:31pm - intimacy - by failuretolaunch2 - United States

Today, my boss used Siri to settle a debate we were having in our team meeting. Siri responded by calling him "Daddy". FML

Today, I had a talk with my daughter about how I hope her first boyfriend is a special one because 'spending the night' with a boy is a big deal. She replied with a giggle, "Mom, I lost my virginity in a parking lot three years ago!" FML

#21362728
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37088) - you deserved it (8174)

On 02/24/2015 at 5:25pm - intimacy - by Like mother like daughter (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, a man asked me for directions outside of a local store. After about five minutes into the conversation, I noticed he had whipped his penis out and was stroking it. He then asked me if I liked what I saw. FML

#21362166
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39170) - you deserved it (3442)

On 02/23/2015 at 10:46pm - intimacy - by sammy18f (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, away at college, I called my grandmother to hear how she was doing after her knee surgery. She ended up talking about Hooters and how I should work there because of my "rare body". When I mentioned I've been studying computer science, earning a 3.8 GPA, she replied, "But you're a girl." FML

#21361518
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34605) - you deserved it (2913)

On 02/23/2015 at 2:45am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)



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