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neonvortex

Offline (13 hours ago) | Search for a member

neonvortex

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 8021
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About neonvortex : been here since 2011. just your average FML addict (with the exception of commenting :p)

neonvortex's page activity

Visits<b>FragrantSalmon</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 9:30am<b>KitchKraft</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 7:25am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 4:58pm<b>ligerzero459</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 10:58am<b>spork_of_doom</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 10:11pm<b>Ardeku</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 10:53pm<b>Mons</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 5:57am<b>Raelthelamb</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 6:40pm<b>p_diddy77</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 11:47am<b>Koizumie</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 3:22am<b>ohnowhyme123</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 9:02am<b>knightofdarkness</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 1:27am<b>FMLworthy5000</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 4:58am<b>tyler_jay</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 11:47pm<b>rkdstp1995</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 12:41pm<b>thatguynamedsky</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 12:06am<b>mosquito19</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 1:55am<b>MissEris</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 11:06pm

Fucked!<b>olive_r</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 2:00am

neonvortex's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of neonvortex's badges

neonvortex's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom found out I'm failing three classes. Now she won't let me go to a convention I bought passes for weeks in advance. Each pass was $45, and I bought 2 more for my friends. You do the math on that, because I apparently can't. FML

#21369220
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16160) - you deserved it (41091)

On 03/06/2015 at 9:20am - misc - by Byepax (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my wife complained that the coffee grounds I swept into the sink grossed her out. Yesterday, I removed several panty-liners from her soiled underwear before doing the laundry. FML

#21368886
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35754) - you deserved it (2410)

On 03/05/2015 at 8:34pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, during a meal out with my team and bosses, I wasn't drinking. The waiter complained, "If you're not ordering alcohol, how am I supposed to take advantage of you later?" I'm not sure what's worse, the rapey pre-dinner joke or the awkward silence as my colleagues looked on. FML

Today, after seven people at work approaching me and asking me if I was 'that lad from the paper', I picked one up to see what they were talking about. Turns out my doppelganger is a man who brutally murdered his older brother last year. FML

#21367159
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32438) - you deserved it (2026)

On 03/03/2015 at 9:01am - misc - by definatelynotamurderer (man) - United Kingdom

Today, while walking out of a store eating a candy bar, a homeless man tried to run up and steal my candy. I stuck a leg out and tripped him. The only thing I could think of to yell at him was, "Swiper no Swiping". My kids have ruined my coolness. FML

#21366982
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (91) - you deserved it (24)

On 03/02/2015 at 11:57pm - misc - by Dad (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I moved to a big city, alone, from a small town. After convincing myself it wasn't that scary, I hailed my first cab. The driver spent the 30 minute ride from the airport telling me about how "sometimes, you just gotta shoot a guy" because if they steal your shoes, they deserve it. FML

#21366058
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28023) - you deserved it (2484)

On 03/01/2015 at 6:22pm - misc - by smalltownkid - United States (Texas)

Today, after a 7 year dry spell, I finally got laid. The downside? It was in my dreams and involved a character from My Little Pony forcing itself on me. Now I hate that fucking stupid show more than ever. FML

#21365913
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31174) - you deserved it (6476)

On 03/01/2015 at 2:24pm - intimacy - by love and tolerape, apparently (man) - India (Jharkhand)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me for another girl, via a text message ending with "No hard feelings. Well xcept 4 my cock obvs. ;)" Fuck you, Rick. FML

#21365892
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34223) - you deserved it (2582)

On 03/01/2015 at 1:59pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

Today, I was checking the family's computer history, and found that "Shrek Porn" had been searched multiple times. FML

#21365639
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29586) - you deserved it (3076)

On 03/01/2015 at 1:05am - misc - by mszoe - United States (California)

Today, while cleaning my son's room, I found an envelope labelled "PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL" under his bed. I opened it, only to find it was a glitter bomb. I couldn't get it all cleaned off myself before he got home. He just said "HAH! Serves you right!" and went to his room smirking. FML

#21365242
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18764) - you deserved it (55476)

On 02/28/2015 at 1:11pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, while having sex, my fiancé started talking dirty. I enjoyed it, until he had a brain fart and said, "God, you love fucking my pussy." FML

#21364648
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29773) - you deserved it (3169)

On 02/27/2015 at 2:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I am still finding glitter in my ass crack after a concert last night that had a confetti cannon. Thanks Marilyn Manson, I feel so metal now. FML

Today, my boyfriend managed to orgasm by humping my leg. I'm beginning to think I am dating a puppy. FML

#21363602
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31603) - you deserved it (3798)

On 02/25/2015 at 10:31pm - intimacy - by failuretolaunch2 - United States

Today, my boss used Siri to settle a debate we were having in our team meeting. Siri responded by calling him "Daddy". FML

Today, I had a talk with my daughter about how I hope her first boyfriend is a special one because 'spending the night' with a boy is a big deal. She replied with a giggle, "Mom, I lost my virginity in a parking lot three years ago!" FML

#21362728
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36871) - you deserved it (8140)

On 02/24/2015 at 5:25pm - intimacy - by Like mother like daughter (woman) - United States (Colorado)



Juliette Bubulle's illustrated FML

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  • It's the weekend so let's plaster on a fake smile and plough through this shit one more time. Sorry, I was channelling Bill Hicks there. I'll start again. Hi everyone, how are you doing? This week…

Friday 29 May 2015

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