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Offline (the 10/19/2016 at 10:15am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 13445
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About neonvortex : been here since 2011. just your average FML addict (with the exception of commenting :p)

neonvortex's page activity

Visits<b>Kiro476</b> - the 08/05/2016 at 11:58am<b>mineller</b> - the 07/12/2016 at 2:32am<b>weirdncrazy</b> - the 03/11/2016 at 1:47am<b>getoffmyscreen</b> - the 03/10/2016 at 9:35pm<b>Karau</b> - the 03/02/2016 at 4:26pm<b>Neut</b> - the 03/01/2016 at 12:29am<b>missa8604</b> - the 02/28/2016 at 11:25pm<b>Toonice45</b> - the 02/27/2016 at 7:00am<b>Michelle1121</b> - the 02/26/2016 at 10:29pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 02/12/2016 at 3:58am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 4:53pm<b>ananicosia</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 2:35pm<b>Feklfekl2222</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 8:50am<b>dirty_dan_</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 6:59pm<b>JMichael</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 11:40pm<b>Tripartita</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 2:42pm<b>Y0UI34574RD</b> - the 11/30/2015 at 8:23pm<b>Saraj07</b> - the 11/30/2015 at 10:56am

Fucked!<b>Toonice45</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 4:59am<b>LilMissCanadian</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 11:33pm<b>DogeDogeDoge</b> - the 10/20/2015 at 2:39am<b>karacakal2</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 6:15pm<b>venomXVII</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 3:25pm<b>olive_r</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 2:00am

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neonvortex's favorite FMLs

Today, one of my regulars came up to my car in the parking lot. We talked through the window while I put on my makeup. He then asked for a hug because he won't be in for two weeks. I obliged and he was kind enough to slide his hand between my legs. He then gave me $50 not to tell his wife. FML

by witchybaby89 / 05/25/2015 at 10:50pm / United States / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I saw my uncle, whom I have not seen in five years, at a family gathering. His reaction to seeing me? "Holy SHIT you have BOOBS! The guys must be all over you!" I awkwardly replied, "No..." Then he muttered, "I know I would." FML

by WellThatWasRude / 05/25/2015 at 2:30am / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my father passed away. I called my boss to let him know about the situation. His only response before hanging up: "Shit, dude. Well, I'll see you in the morning, these reports won't write themselves." FML

by Anonymous / 05/23/2015 at 10:50am / Canada (Alberta) / Work

Today, I checked my son's browser history, as he's been acting strangely around his computer recently. I found several bizarre Google searches, including but not limited to: "unicorn dick-farts", "sharting kittens", and "can you get AIDS from Asians?" What the fuck is wrong with him? FML

by Anonymous / 05/22/2015 at 2:17pm / United Kingdom (Havering) / Kids

Today, after taking my crush to the train station late at night, I sat in a local park alone with my thoughts for a while. Two cops appeared out of nowhere and started searching me for drugs and weapons, asking me questions for a good 30 minutes. Not the kind of action I expected tonight. FML

by Anonymous / 05/19/2015 at 4:49pm / Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg) / Love

Today, I saw a real, erect penis for the first time. My brother's, while he was jerking off. He doesn't know I saw, because he was holding a pair of panties over his face with his other hand. I'm trying like hell to act like I'm not mentally scarred. FML

by Anonymous / 05/18/2015 at 12:58pm / Australia / Intimacy

Today, a couple asked me donate my eggs so they could start a family. When I refused, I was called heartless by my ex-husband and the woman he cheated on me with for over two years. FML

by Anonymous / 05/16/2015 at 1:46pm / United Kingdom (Southampton) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend decided to suddenly stop in the middle of sex, just as I was actually starting to enjoy myself, just to bear hug me and exclaim, "Crikey, she's angry!" in the voice of Steve Irwin. He laughed so hard at his own joke that he went soft and couldn't continue. FML

by Anonymous / 05/16/2015 at 5:11am / United Kingdom (Aberdeen City) / Intimacy

Today, I had to pick my brother up from work because he broke down crying. I arrived to find that apparently, you can get so stoned that serving a pregnant woman at a fast food joint moves you to tears over the miracle of life. FML

by sistertaxi / 05/14/2015 at 10:23am / Australia / Miscellaneous

Today, while teaching my class, I hooked my laptop up to the projector and put on a documentary. I left it playing and went to the toilet. When I came back the whole class was talking to my mother. She must've Skyped me while I was gone and someone answered the call. FML

by HiddlePuff / 05/14/2015 at 8:42am / Australia / Work

Today, once again, I explained that yes, I'm Russian. No, I'm not a communist. No, I don't pray to a picture of Putin riding a bear. And no, I don't have any vodka on me. FML

by Anonymous / 05/11/2015 at 2:59am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was spooning with my girlfriend. She fell asleep and spent the next 15 minutes farting on me. FML

by gassygirlfriend / 05/10/2015 at 4:40am / United States (Idaho) / Love

Today, at a party I got blind drunk and I gave a guy a blowjob for the first time. I'm a 100% heterosexual male. FML

by Anonymous / 05/08/2015 at 12:59pm / India (Delhi) / Intimacy

Today, I fell asleep while working the night shift. It took me 3 hours and a whole lot of dirty looks while walking home before I looked in a mirror and saw my cockbite of a coworker had drawn a swastika on my forehead while I was asleep. FML

by pop, pop / 05/08/2015 at 11:44am / United States (California) / Work

Today, marks the fourth day in a row that I've worn the same outfit to prove to my parents that they pay me no attention. They still haven't noticed. FML

by Anonymous / 05/05/2015 at 3:54pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous