Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

neonvortex

Offline (yesterday at 10:07pm) | Search for a member

neonvortex

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2738
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About neonvortex : just your average FML addict (with the exception of commenting :p)

neonvortex's page activity

Visits<b>BFons</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 2:33am<b>Garrett2818</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 2:27am<b>1two3four5six</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 12:36am<b>Fuaaad1994</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 5:44pm<b>715chiefs</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 6:32pm<b>vividpictures</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 7:43pm<b>Ichiya</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 6:36pm<b>domclark94</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 12:14pm<b>elly94</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 2:56am<b>Mons</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 4:14am<b>inner_peace</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 10:35pm<b>Bulldozer36</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 12:12pm<b>Miku01</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 5:12pm<b>decimater</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 4:44pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 12:45pm<b>Peck_Kcep</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 6:51pm<b>EnoshimaJunko</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 12:01am<b>Taira_Yuzuki</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 9:35pm

neonvortex's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

See all of neonvortex's badges

neonvortex's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked my dad if he'd like to see the photos of my wedding, which he didn't bother to come to. Reply: "What the fuck, are you gay or something? Keep that homo stuff to yourself." My wife started laughing so hard she was crying. FML

#21180887
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45277) - you deserved it (4708)

On 06/19/2014 at 5:05pm - love - by Fuck you, Dad. Fuck you. (man) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be witty to buy a miniature stop sign, and hold it up when she gets bored during sex. FML

#21180516
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49034) - you deserved it (13674)

On 06/19/2014 at 10:37am - love - by stopinthenameoflove - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, the girl who broke up with me and disappeared 6 years ago wished me a happy Father's Day. FML

#21176638
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50871) - you deserved it (5798)

On 06/16/2014 at 11:30am - misc - by IneedMaury (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my husband reorganized our fridge for the World Cup. He cleared everything out and filled it with beer and chips. FML

#21171761
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41356) - you deserved it (9953) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 06/12/2014 at 1:02am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was babysitting a little girl. I let her play with a box of old Star Wars toys to keep her occupied while I quickly went to use the bathroom, and when I returned she was making the 15 or so figures have a massive orgy, sex sounds included. FML

#21171266
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42748) - you deserved it (5098)

On 06/11/2014 at 6:46pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, after having asked me out on Monday, the guy I like angrily cancelled our date because I "hadn't bothered" even talking to him for "several days". One day. You didn't hear from me on Monday. It's now Tuesday. That's one day, dick. FML

#21169704
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45878) - you deserved it (6153)

On 06/10/2014 at 2:29pm - love - by fartbucket51995129565 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I sent my girlfriend a request to confirm our relationship on Facebook. She accepted, then changed her screen name into "His Hand". FML

#21169063
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51205) - you deserved it (11152)

On 06/10/2014 at 12:02am - love - by MiserableMan (man) - Vietnam (Ho Chi Minh)

Today, my students turned in their male figure artwork. One absolute idiot had the smart idea of drawing me and the TA as some kind of gay lovers. I was torn between disgust at the explicitness, anger at the disrespect, and yet awe at how well-drawn it was. FML

#21165062
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42623) - you deserved it (6212)

On 06/06/2014 at 3:00pm - work - by confusing (man) - Zimbabwe

Today, I spent several hours downtown with my violent grandma, after she was arrested for threatening a guy with a gun. His crime? "Trespassing" by ringing the doorbell and asking if she was interested in donating to charity. FML

#21158368
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39979) - you deserved it (3492)

On 05/31/2014 at 4:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my ex-girlfriend proposed to me, at my wedding. FML

#21158075
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53894) - you deserved it (7364)

On 05/31/2014 at 9:40am - love - by damn it rose (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I told my girlfriend that I love her. She panicked and blurted out our S&M safeword. FML

#21152151
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46353) - you deserved it (6406)

On 05/26/2014 at 11:53am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, thanks to my phone's shitty predictive text combined with me being half-asleep, I accidentally offered my heartbroken buddy "oral support" if he ever needs it. FML

#21151390
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45265) - you deserved it (8827)

On 05/25/2014 at 5:23pm - intimacy - by whoops (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I woke up and stumbled over to my window to soak up some morning sunshine. The sunshine was lovely; the sight of my elderly neighbour doing some kind of nude yoga in his backyard certainly was not. FML

#21149493
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43562) - you deserved it (5010)

On 05/23/2014 at 6:46pm - intimacy - by fucking hell my eyes burn (man) - Germany

Today, while I was waiting at the bus stop, a car that looked like my mom's pulled up. Thinking it was actually her, I walked up and jokingly asked what she was into. The guy inside now thinks that I'm a prostitute. FML

#21142181
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35586) - you deserved it (15217)

On 05/16/2014 at 7:20pm - misc - by Female Struggles (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I woke up to somebody shaking my shoulder. I had slept over at a friend's house, so I assumed my friend was just fooling around. With my head under the pillow, I swung my hand at his face then gave him the finger. Turns out, my friend left for basketball and I had slept in. It was his mom. FML

#21141244
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38948) - you deserved it (16479)

On 05/15/2014 at 10:34pm - misc - by NickJJ - Canada (Ontario)



FML's blog

  • Matteor's illustrated FML #2
  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: