Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

neonvortex

Offline (yesterday at 4:23am) | Search for a member

neonvortex

6Fucked!

neonvortexneonvortex
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 10962
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About neonvortex : been here since 2011. just your average FML addict (with the exception of commenting :p)

neonvortex's page activity

Visits<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 4:53pm<b>Stefan5678</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 3:05pm<b>ananicosia</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 2:35pm<b>Feklfekl2222</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 8:50am<b>dirty_dan_</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 6:59pm<b>JMichael</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 11:40pm<b>Toonice45</b> - the 12/16/2015 at 10:59pm<b>Tripartita</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 2:42pm<b>Y0UI34574RD</b> - the 11/30/2015 at 8:23pm<b>Saraj07</b> - the 11/30/2015 at 10:56am<b>beeferjay</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 12:15am<b>mckenz1eq</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 10:32pm<b>DogeDogeDoge</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 8:04pm<b>Typicall</b> - the 11/06/2015 at 7:58pm<b>cookimonstur</b> - the 11/05/2015 at 2:56am<b>Aukrenchi</b> - the 11/05/2015 at 2:34am<b>mj0101</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 11:11pm<b>Fritz_Rfunny1</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 11:09pm

Fucked!<b>Toonice45</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 4:59am<b>LilMissCanadian</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 11:33pm<b>DogeDogeDoge</b> - the 10/20/2015 at 2:39am<b>karacakal2</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 6:15pm<b>venomXVII</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 3:25pm<b>olive_r</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 2:00am

neonvortex's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

See all of neonvortex's badges

neonvortex's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend decided to suddenly stop in the middle of sex, just as I was actually starting to enjoy myself, just to bear hug me and exclaim, "Crikey, she's angry!" in the voice of Steve Irwin. He laughed so hard at his own joke that he went soft and couldn't continue. FML

#21410853
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34147) - you deserved it (3448)

On 05/16/2015 at 5:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Aberdeen City)

Today, I had to pick my brother up from work because he broke down crying. I arrived to find that apparently, you can get so stoned that serving a pregnant woman at a fast food joint moves you to tears over the miracle of life. FML

#21409953
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31794) - you deserved it (2492)

On 05/14/2015 at 10:23am - misc - by sistertaxi - Australia

Today, while teaching my class, I hooked my laptop up to the projector and put on a documentary. I left it playing and went to the toilet. When I came back the whole class was talking to my mother. She must've Skyped me while I was gone and someone answered the call. FML

#21409928
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34216) - you deserved it (7698)

On 05/14/2015 at 8:42am - work - by HiddlePuff - Australia

Today, once again, I explained that yes, I'm Russian. No, I'm not a communist. No, I don't pray to a picture of Putin riding a bear. And no, I don't have any vodka on me. FML

#21408243
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32436) - you deserved it (3391)

On 05/11/2015 at 2:59am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was spooning with my girlfriend. She fell asleep and spent the next 15 minutes farting on me. FML

#21407637
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31499) - you deserved it (4871)

On 05/10/2015 at 4:40am - love - by gassygirlfriend - United States (Idaho)

Today, at a party I got blind drunk and I gave a guy a blowjob for the first time. I'm a 100% heterosexual male. FML

#21406764
302 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21791) - you deserved it (39690)

On 05/08/2015 at 12:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - India (Delhi)

Today, I fell asleep while working the night shift. It took me 3 hours and a whole lot of dirty looks while walking home before I looked in a mirror and saw my cockbite of a coworker had drawn a swastika on my forehead while I was asleep. FML

#21406740
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25598) - you deserved it (7366)

On 05/08/2015 at 11:44am - work - by pop, pop (man) - United States (California)

Today, marks the fourth day in a row that I've worn the same outfit to prove to my parents that they pay me no attention. They still haven't noticed. FML

#21405167
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31226) - you deserved it (3435)

On 05/05/2015 at 3:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, a guy at work told me I look like a famous celebrity. I was flattered, until he remembered the celebrity's name: Steve Buscemi. That wouldn't be a compliment, even if I weren't a 24-year-old woman. FML

#21403358
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27506) - you deserved it (2378)

On 05/02/2015 at 11:55am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. My mom's reaction was, I shit you not, to tell me to "walk it off". FML

#21403286
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30427) - you deserved it (2539)

On 05/02/2015 at 5:59am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, after a 2 month relationship, I realized two things: A) Dating a known psycho because "crazy chicks are great in bed" is a dumb idea, and B) What crazy chicks are actually great at is beating the crap out of you and driving you to alcoholism. FML

#21402940
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15251) - you deserved it (31031)

On 05/01/2015 at 3:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, after waiting for 2 weeks for the right moment to meet my boyfriend's mom, she walked in as I was straddling him, trying to prove that I'd win in a wrestling match. I guess we met, then. FML

#21401631
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28054) - you deserved it (4052)

On 04/29/2015 at 7:11am - love - by xxlenalunaxx (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my father tried to excuse his alcoholism by saying that his stomach stops working, and he needs to drink vodka to get it started again. FML

Today, less than a month from our wedding, my fiancé told me that he doesn't trust me and will be cancelling our wedding and new apartment lease if I don't give him all the names, numbers and addresses of my exes. All because I received a text from a wrong number that said, "Hey baby." FML

#21400981
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34130) - you deserved it (3827)

On 04/28/2015 at 1:32am - love - by Groomzilla? - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was watching porn, and ended up bawling because the girl in the video looked like my ex. FML

#21399752
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33497) - you deserved it (10198)

On 04/26/2015 at 12:05am - intimacy - by montanadinosaur (man) - United States (Florida)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: