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neonvortex

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neonvortex

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 3502
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About neonvortex : been here since 2011. just your average FML addict (with the exception of commenting :p)

neonvortex's page activity

Visits<b>ZY1431</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 1:56am<b>Door_Productions</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 6:03pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 6:08pm<b>ironhead</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 5:10pm<b>alexarasan</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 6:51pm<b>JMichael</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 4:33pm<b>Trollx</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 2:20am<b>CelticKing</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 3:33pm<b>andy594328</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 3:44am<b>BFons</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 2:33am<b>Garrett2818</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 2:27am<b>1two3four5six</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 12:36am<b>Fuaaad1994</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 5:44pm<b>715chiefs</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 6:32pm<b>vividpictures</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 7:43pm<b>Ichiya</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 6:36pm<b>domclark94</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 12:14pm<b>elly94</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 2:56am

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neonvortex's favorite FMLs

Today, I'm staying with my grandma and her older sister while my parents are away. It's been two hours and so far they've popped vicodins, talked about banging Alex Trebek, and had a farting contest. FML

#21253639
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35500) - you deserved it (3938)

On 09/07/2014 at 11:11am - misc - by imgonnadie (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I came home early to surprise my wife. No, it's not what you're thinking: I didn't find her cheating on me. She wasn't even home, but my dad was. He'd used his spare key and was on my sofa, drinking my beer and watching my TV. The first words out of his mouth? "Your beer's shit." FML

#21253167
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36691) - you deserved it (3559)

On 09/06/2014 at 5:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my boyfriend again told me how he wants to have an open relationship. Of course, this means he can do what he likes with anyone, but if I so much as kiss someone else, I'm a cheating slut. FML

#21252587
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44930) - you deserved it (6313)

On 09/05/2014 at 6:59pm - intimacy - by onlywantuanyway -

Today, I complimented a guy on his beard. His response? "Thanks. Wanna sit on it?" FML

Today, my sister introduced me to her new, deaf boyfriend. She proudly proclaimed that she was trying to learn sign language for his sake, so he wouldn't have to read her lips. I'm also deaf and have been trying to get her to do the same for me for 20 goddamn years. FML

#21250726
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50513) - you deserved it (2481)

On 09/02/2014 at 7:38pm - misc - by SadAndDeaf -

Today, I asked my girlfriend to talk dirty to me. Her response was to impersonate a saxophone. FML

#21250455
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33217) - you deserved it (7651)

On 09/02/2014 at 11:32am - intimacy - by ihatejasonderulo - United Kingdom (Hounslow)

Today, my goat decided my hairstyle was so last season and restyled it for me with his teeth. FML

Today, I was called in over speakers at the airport. The man who was speaking clearly and nearly burst out laughing when he said my name. Soon, a few people around also snickered when they heard it. I had to wait five minutes before I could casually stand up. My last name is Bastard. FML

#21248318
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41345) - you deserved it (3215)

On 08/30/2014 at 4:35am - misc - by poorbastard (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I dreamed I was wrestling an alligator. I quickly woke up to my girlfriend yelling and me holding her in a headlock. FML

#21247589
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37353) - you deserved it (5010)

On 08/29/2014 at 12:16am - misc - by AgentOrion - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was taking a customer's order, when she said she'd better go for a salad, because she was getting fat. She was actually very slim, so I told her she wasn't fat at all. She took one look at me and snorted "Yeah, not compared to you, that's for sure." FML

#21245733
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41873) - you deserved it (3882)

On 08/26/2014 at 11:30am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while my teacher was demonstrating how to use the ultrasound equipment, we all figured out that I'm pregnant. FML

#21245451
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50677) - you deserved it (9739)

On 08/25/2014 at 10:37pm - health - by whotouchedyou1 - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend got her period. It seemed more painful for her than usual, so I offered to go out and buy some painkillers and maybe some chocolate for her. She thought I was being sarcastic and slapped me so hard I saw stars. FML

#21245120
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40472) - you deserved it (3492)

On 08/25/2014 at 2:58pm - misc - by nhyari (man) - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, I overheard my dad say "Last time I didn't use a condom, I ended up with Steven, so for god's sake use 'em." I'm Steven. FML

#21244545
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38481) - you deserved it (3043)

On 08/24/2014 at 5:19pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, to spice things up, my boyfriend suggested we wear disguises. Amused by the idea, I accepted. That's how I ended up having sex with Gandalf. FML

#21240323
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42790) - you deserved it (9374) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/18/2014 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Degueusement (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I tried skydiving for the first time. The professional I was attached to had a boner the whole way down. FML

#21237831
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50866) - you deserved it (4911)

On 08/14/2014 at 11:36pm - intimacy - by emmamrose7 (woman) - United States (California)



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