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neonvortex

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neonvortex

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5964
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About neonvortex : been here since 2011. just your average FML addict (with the exception of commenting :p)

neonvortex's page activity

Visits<b>thatguynamedsky</b> - yesterday at 12:06am<b>mosquito19</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 1:55am<b>MissEris</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 11:06pm<b>olive_r</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 8:00pm<b>K40RU</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 6:36pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 6:33pm<b>s3kShUn47</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 5:54pm<b>terryaly</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 3:36pm<b>decimater</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 12:41am<b>jesusalejndr</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 1:20pm<b>ComoEsJuan</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 5:11pm<b>Pinkierose05</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 7:00pm<b>lyricalservant</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 4:58am<b>flupsht</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 1:36pm<b>skygage</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 4:33am<b>dustydick</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 10:51pm<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 12/26/2014 at 7:46pm<b>jenkelo</b> - the 12/25/2014 at 5:13pm

Liked!<b>olive_r</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 2:00am

neonvortex's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of neonvortex's badges

neonvortex's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out how whipped I am when, at the climax of sex, I moaned, "I'm sorry!" FML

#21337152
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26862) - you deserved it (6125)

On 01/14/2015 at 6:57pm - intimacy - by imsorry (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found myself wondering if my sister's jaw makes the same clicking sound when she's giving head as it does when she's eating food. FML

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first handjob. I was nervous, so when she went to do it, I panicked and yelled, "Firmly grasp it!" She then couldn't stop laughing because it was a line from SpongeBob. FML

Today, after listening to a group of my friends ranting on about how much they love babies and can't wait to have them, I got to witness their looks of horror and disgust as I expressed my desire to not have children. I also happened to be the only girl there. FML

#21335310
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29282) - you deserved it (3035)

On 01/11/2015 at 8:14pm - kids - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, after listening to a group of my friends ranting on about how much they love babies and can't wait to have them, I got to witness their looks of horror and disgust as I expressed my desire to not have children. I also happened to be the only girl there. FML

#21335310
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29282) - you deserved it (3035)

On 01/11/2015 at 8:14pm - kids - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my girlfriend was making lunch and asked me to pass her the peanut butter. I'll never know why, but as I handed it to her I said the first thing that came to mind: "I really want a dog." She looked at me in horror, then told me to get out of her house. FML

#21334531
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24190) - you deserved it (4261)

On 01/10/2015 at 3:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I tried baking my own bread to save food money. Unfortunately I screwed it up, prompting my wife to look at me pityingly and say "Wow, can't get even bread to rise." before walking out. I have erectile dysfunction, and she constantly insults me like this. FML

#21333974
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38922) - you deserved it (3051)

On 01/09/2015 at 3:16pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I overheard my boyfriend bragging about me to his friends, telling them I have a great smile, cute hair, and very perky tits. This wouldn't be so bad if we weren't both men. FML

#21333775
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29873) - you deserved it (6109)

On 01/09/2015 at 4:11am - love - by pitytitty (man) - United States (California)

Today, a girl from class screamed at me in public for hugging the guy she likes. She threatened to take me out if I didn't "back off". That guy is my boyfriend. FML

#21333251
113 comments

Today, I thought one of my flatmates was beating his girlfriend, so I barged in about to stop him. Turned out they were having really rough sex. FML

Today, I went to gather the laundry out of the dryer. My daughter had seen my wife put bleach in the washer, so she decided that honey in the dryer would make the clothes smell sweet. She wasn't wrong, but now I have a giant ball of sticky socks and underwear. FML

#21331413
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25568) - you deserved it (2219)

On 01/05/2015 at 4:26pm - kids - by Synonymous_Rex - United States (California)

Today, my vegetarian girlfriend put some ghost pepper hot sauce on my steak to teach me a "lesson" about eating meat. FML

#21330517
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35124) - you deserved it (4838)

On 01/04/2015 at 5:27am - love - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my sister compared me handling the news of recently being told that I have a devastating and very possibly fatal autoimmune disease, to that of a teenager being melodramatic. FML

#21329069
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32802) - you deserved it (2395)

On 01/02/2015 at 12:37am - health - by Sisterly Love - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went on a road trip with my boyfriend and his best friend. What I thought was going to be a great, fun time ended up with me alone in a car with two large men who wouldn't stop farting for 14 hours. FML

#21328432
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26196) - you deserved it (4087)

On 01/01/2015 at 3:52am - misc - by sandwhiched - United States (California)

Today, my elderly neighbour told me why my other neighbours don't talk to me. I'm a massage/physical therapist and treat clients, mostly athletes, in my home. My neighbours saw the steady stream of young, buff guys coming to my house and concluded that I'm a gay prostitute. FML

#21327463
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33201) - you deserved it (2639)

On 12/30/2014 at 10:34pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)



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