Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

neonvortex

Online | Search for a member

neonvortex

3Fucked!

neonvortexneonvortex
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 9105
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About neonvortex : been here since 2011. just your average FML addict (with the exception of commenting :p)

neonvortex's page activity

Visits<b>Shayn_25</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 4:45pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 12:14pm<b>moron011</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 10:35pm<b>kaed</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 12:36pm<b>venomXVII</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 9:25am<b>keiNan</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 2:31pm<b>Devindelon</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 1:44am<b>FragrantSalmon</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 9:30am<b>KitchKraft</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 7:25am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 4:58pm<b>ligerzero459</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 10:58am<b>spork_of_doom</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 10:11pm<b>Ardeku</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 10:53pm<b>Mons</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 5:57am<b>Raelthelamb</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 6:40pm<b>p_diddy77</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 11:47am<b>Koizumie</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 3:22am<b>ohnowhyme123</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 9:02am

Fucked!<b>karacakal2</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 6:15pm<b>venomXVII</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 3:25pm<b>olive_r</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 2:00am

neonvortex's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of neonvortex's badges

neonvortex's favorite FMLs

Today, after a 2 month relationship, I realized two things: A) Dating a known psycho because "crazy chicks are great in bed" is a dumb idea, and B) What crazy chicks are actually great at is beating the crap out of you and driving you to alcoholism. FML

#21402940
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14205) - you deserved it (29092)

On 05/01/2015 at 3:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, after waiting for 2 weeks for the right moment to meet my boyfriend's mom, she walked in as I was straddling him, trying to prove that I'd win in a wrestling match. I guess we met, then. FML

#21401631
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26133) - you deserved it (3588)

On 04/29/2015 at 7:11am - love - by xxlenalunaxx (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my father tried to excuse his alcoholism by saying that his stomach stops working, and he needs to drink vodka to get it started again. FML

Today, less than a month from our wedding, my fiancé told me that he doesn't trust me and will be cancelling our wedding and new apartment lease if I don't give him all the names, numbers and addresses of my exes. All because I received a text from a wrong number that said, "Hey baby." FML

#21400981
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33169) - you deserved it (3731)

On 04/28/2015 at 1:32am - love - by Groomzilla? - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was watching porn, and ended up bawling because the girl in the video looked like my ex. FML

#21399752
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30297) - you deserved it (8903)

On 04/26/2015 at 12:05am - intimacy - by montanadinosaur (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I orgasmed in front of someone for the first time. Too bad it was my dad who didn't knock before coming in. FML

#21399489
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34311) - you deserved it (5276)

On 04/25/2015 at 1:32pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found my son's porn. I would sit him down for a talk, but the genres were so disturbing that I'm afraid to even ask about it. FML

#21399141
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30237) - you deserved it (3565)

On 04/24/2015 at 6:04pm - kids - by anonymousyo - United States (California)

Today, I overheard my uncle talking about me to his friends. Nothing serious, just that he'd fuck me senseless if we weren't related. FML

#21399079
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37837) - you deserved it (2463)

On 04/24/2015 at 3:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Laois)

Today, it was my 18th birthday and I was told I couldn't get the night off work because a party of 34 had booked into the restaurant. It turned out my family had come in to 'celebrate' by making me wait on them. They were a nightmare, thought it was hilarious to be difficult, and didn't tip. FML

#21398382
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38420) - you deserved it (2407)

On 04/23/2015 at 8:28am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Dundee City)

Today, my dad sat me down and angrily accused me of doing drugs, all because he's noticed I've recently become a lot more energetic and emotional than usual. The truth is, I'd been smoking weed daily for 3 years and just decided to never smoke it again 2 weeks ago. FML

#21397872
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30850) - you deserved it (5579)

On 04/22/2015 at 9:39am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I came out as bisexual to my 17-year-old sister. She was quiet for a second, then told me she knows for sure I only have "girl parts". I had to explain to her the difference between being bi and being a hermaphrodite. FML

#21397585
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30059) - you deserved it (3157)

On 04/21/2015 at 7:00pm - intimacy - by Notthatone (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, a friendly game of Cards Against Humanity somehow ended in a screaming match, my best friend's mother pulling out her tits, and me getting bit in the foot by a dog. FML

Today, my husband came too soon during sex. He then tried to pretend it didn't happen and continued. He humped me with a half-erect noodle for about seven minutes before I finally called him out. FML

#21394468
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32411) - you deserved it (4929)

On 04/16/2015 at 1:04am - intimacy - by Evra (woman) - United States

Today, my dad tricked the local biker gang into believing he's actually part of the Russian mob. FML

Today, I took my 5-year-old daughter to the play place at McDonalds but I had to keep her busy, instead of letting her play. A mom was teaching her 3-year-old daughter how to pole dance, using the play place's poles. FML

#21393641
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29183) - you deserved it (2422)

On 04/14/2015 at 5:17pm - kids - by Pandistoteles - United States



FML's blog

  • Feeling shitty? Write to Auntie Bernie!
  • It's a new summer, so here's a new feature. OK, that doesn't mean much, but you've got to start somewhere. The idea came from the fact that we get sent a lot of FMLs that touch us, in our heart of…

Friday 24 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: