neonglostix

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Offline (the 01/01/2016 at 12:12am)

neonglostix

6Fucked!

neonglostixneonglostix
  • Town/Country : Atlanta, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 19 May 1992 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2530
  • Number of comments : 32
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 21 posted

About neonglostix : Who am I? Ahhhh!!!! I have no idea. *identity crisis*

Also, I only post the really strange stuff that happens to me. Since none of them have been accepted, does that mean my life is "unbelievable?" Ba dum chhhhh!

neonglostix's page activity

Visits<b>Julian_s1234</b> - the 04/11/2016 at 10:45pm<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 9:44pm<b>orios105</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 5:27am<b>MissDarkness</b> - the 11/09/2015 at 6:12pm<b>ratman775</b> - the 11/09/2015 at 9:01am<b>Knaxer</b> - the 10/29/2015 at 6:45am<b>lilfox67</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 11:36am<b>hotheadslav</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 9:49am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 9:29am<b>DA_JUDGE123</b> - the 10/27/2015 at 11:18pm<b>TurboButton</b> - the 10/27/2015 at 9:36pm<b>sdroze1389</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 11:08pm<b>HersheySquirts</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 1:43pm<b>Superdouchebag</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 3:47pm<b>joshtapp</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 8:55pm<b>Amy_Nguyen_12</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 9:11pm<b>petrolhead</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 1:03am<b>Zero_TAlent_</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 9:45am

Fucked!<b>orios105</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 11:27am<b>DA_JUDGE123</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 4:19am<b>hotheadslav</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 8:07pm<b>HersheySquirts</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 7:43pm<b>joshtapp</b> - the 01/31/2015 at 2:55am

neonglostix's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of neonglostix's badges

neonglostix's favorite FMLs

Today, I was driving my 7-year-old daughter to school, when out of nowhere a bird smashed into the windshield. Instead of screaming or being traumatized by the gore like me, my daughter started laughing, eventually calling the bird a "stupid bastard". FML

by Anonymous / 06/27/2014 at 4:22pm / Spain (Comunidad Valenciana) / Animals

Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be witty to buy a miniature stop sign, and hold it up when she gets bored during sex. FML

by stopinthenameoflove / 06/19/2014 at 10:37am / Ireland (Dublin) / Love

Today, less than a day after my cranky downstairs neighbor passed away, I woke up to banging sounds against his apartment ceiling, like the ones he used to make whenever I walked around during the night. I'm shitting myself in fear. FML

by mdsfkljsfsdrewr / 06/03/2014 at 3:01pm / Lebanon (Beyrouth) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took out my phone and realized I butt dialed my girlfriend and left her a 4 minute voicemail of me farting in an echoing toilet bowl. FML

by wendtinmypants / 05/31/2014 at 11:05am / United States (Nebraska) / Love

Today, a girl asked me out on a date to some hot springs, about 2 hours away. After a mile hike, the springs were finally in sight. She then slipped and cut her shin open. I had carry her the mile back and drive her the 2 hours to the ER, where her parents, whom I'd never met, were waiting. FML

by jonchavez / 05/29/2014 at 7:46pm / United States (Kentucky) / Love

Today, I collected my students' final essays. One of them submitted a printout of a screenshot he took with his phone. Too bad a browser address bar was still in the shot, along with a "click to read more" link at the bottom. My students are too dumb and lazy to even plagiarize properly. FML

by What am I doing with my life? / 05/22/2014 at 12:47pm / United States (Colorado) / Work

Today, I baked a strawberry cake and I didn't have any fresh strawberries for garnish, so I used a can of strawberry pie filling. My neighbors said it looked like the cake was taken from the dumpster behind an abortion clinic. FML

by sothishappened / 05/20/2014 at 5:54am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I'm moving. While packing, I realized I hadn't seen my cat in a few hours. I called her and realized she was inside one of the hundreds of boxes in my house. I accidentally packed my cat. FML

by Anonymous / 05/14/2014 at 4:43pm / United States (South Carolina) / Animals

Today, I read that egg whites make a good hair treatment. Everything was going fine until, without thinking, I turned the hot water on to wash it out. I'm still picking the cooked egg out of my hair. FML

by EggHead / 05/03/2014 at 12:57am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my parents made a game out of deliberately walking in when I'm trying to masturbate. They even turn on all the hot water taps when I'm trying to do it in the shower. FML

by Anonymous / 04/17/2014 at 10:55pm / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy

Today, it's the last day of my sign language class. At the end of the class, my teacher surprised us by speaking for the first time, also surprising everyone that she wasn't actually deaf. It wouldn't have been so bad had I not just given someone an answer to the test, thinking she couldn't hear me. FML

Today, my 14-year-old son's pathetic rebellion came to a head. He ran away from home, leaving a note saying he hates me and was leaving forever to be part of a gang his friends had formed. He came back an hour later crying. His whole gang had gotten mugged, which he somehow blamed me for. FML

by I Have Failed / 04/02/2014 at 4:10pm / Spain (Madrid) / Kids

Today, my boss decided to have the whole staff drug tested and fire everyone who failed. Out of an original staff of 14 people, only my boss, two coworkers and I remain. I now have four times my normal workload and am seriously thinking maybe I should've said "Yes" to drugs. FML

by bringthemback / 03/29/2014 at 6:34am / United States (South Carolina) / Work

Today, I was sitting in the coffee shop where my boyfriend and I used to go before he broke up with me about a week ago. I was missing him and wishing he was there, when all of a sudden this 14-year-old kid comes up to me and says, "He's not coming, you may as well go home." FML

by Anonymous / 03/27/2014 at 7:03pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Love

Today, my neighbor called the police for the seventh time because he's convinced I'm a vampire. He's also gotten in the habit of leaving garlic cloves in my yard. My parents come next week. FML

by Vampprobs / 03/24/2014 at 9:52pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous