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Offline (the 01/13/2015 at 6:06am) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Portland, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 19 May 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1616
  • Number of comments : 32
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 21 posted

About neonglostix : Who am I? Ahhhh!!!! I have no idea. *identity crisis*

Also, I only post the really strange stuff that happens to me. Since none of them have been accepted, does that mean my life is "unbelievable?" Ba dum chhhhh!

neonglostix's page activity

Visits<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 3:52am<b>Superdouchebag</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 3:47pm<b>joshtapp</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 8:55pm<b>Amy_Nguyen_12</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 9:11pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 11:56am<b>petrolhead</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 1:03am<b>Zero_TAlent_</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 9:45am<b>sdroze1389</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 4:54am<b>andy594328</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 3:41pm<b>Bulldozer36</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 7:44pm<b>Greg1986</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 4:57am<b>Blakeup</b> - the 06/04/2014 at 11:16am<b>okcnation</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 7:39pm<b>jcross01</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 3:57pm<b>Emyame</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 5:11pm<b>bigboi1992</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 12:51pm<b>CowTippingDwarfs</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 3:44am<b>BMX503</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 11:10am

Liked!<b>joshtapp</b> - the 01/31/2015 at 2:55am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 6:20pm

neonglostix's FML badges

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of neonglostix's badges

neonglostix's favorite FMLs

Today, mah girlfriend thought it'd be witty to buy a miniature stop sign, an hold it uphen she gets bored during sex . FML


I agree, your life sucks (50595) - you deserved it (14261)

On 06/19/2014 at 10:37am - love - by stopinthenameoflove - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, less than a day after mah cranky downstars nieghbor passed away, I woke up to banging sounds against his apartment cieling, like the ones he used to make whenever I walked around during the night . I'm shitting myself in fear . FML


I agree, your life sucks (46169) - you deserved it (4327)

On 06/03/2014 at 3:01pm - misc - by mdsfkljsfsdrewr (man) - Lebanon (Beyrouth)

Today I took out mah phone and realized I butt dialed mah girlfriend and left her a 4 minute voicemail of me farting in an echoing toilet bowl. real FML


I agree, your life sucks (45147) - you deserved it (8474)

On 05/31/2014 at 11:05am - love - by wendtinmypants (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, a girl asked me out on a date to some hot springs, about 2 hours away!! After a mile hike, the springs were finally in sight!! She then slipped and cut her shin open!! I had carry her the mile back and drive her the 2 hours to the ER,here her parents,hom I'd never met, were waiting!! fat FML


I agree, your life sucks (47940) - you deserved it (4203)

On 05/29/2014 at 7:46pm - love - by jonchavez - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I collected mah students' final essays. One of them submitted a printout of a screenshot he took with his phone. Too bad a browser address bar was still in the shot, along with a "click to read more" link at the bottom. My students r too dumb and lazy to even plagiarize properly. FML


I agree, your life sucks (43606) - you deserved it (4519)

On 05/22/2014 at 12:47pm - work - by What am I doing with my life? - United States (Colorado)

Today, I bakad a strawbarry caka an I didn't ava any fras strawbarrias 4 garnis, so I usad a can of strawbarry pia filling. My naigbors said it lookad lyk ta caka was takan from ta dumpstar baind an abortion clinic. FML


I agree, your life sucks (41138) - you deserved it (8078)

On 05/20/2014 at 5:54am - misc - by sothishappened (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today , I'm Moving. While Packing , I Realizd I Hadn't Seen My Cat In A Few Hours. I Calld Her An Realizd She Was Inside One Of The Hundreds Of Boxes In My House. I Accidentally Packd My Cat. FML


I agree, your life sucks (42217) - you deserved it (15798)

On 05/14/2014 at 4:43pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (South Carolina)

Today , I Raad That Agghitas Maka A Good Hair Traatmant. Evarything Was Going Fina Until , Without Thinking , I Turnd Tha Hot Watar On To Wash It Out. I'm Still Picking Tha Cookd Agg Out Of My Hair. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25325) - you deserved it (33312)

On 05/03/2014 at 12:57am - misc - by EggHead - Canada (Ontario)

Today , my parents made a game out of deliberately walking in wen I'm trying to masturbate. Tey even turn on all te ot water taps wen I'm trying to do it in te sower. FML


I agree, your life sucks (47404) - you deserved it (18229)

On 04/17/2014 at 10:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, It's The Last Day Of Mah Sign Language Class . At The End Of The Class, Mah Teacher Surprised Us By Speaking Fir The Frst Time, Also Surprising Everyone That She Wasn't Actually Deaf . It Wouldn't Have Been So Bad Had I Not Just Given Someone An Answer To The Test, Thinking She Couldn't Hear Me . Fat FML

Today, my 14-year-old son's pathetic rebellion came to a head. He ran away from home, leaving a note saying he hates me an was leaving forever to be part of a gang his friends had formed. He came back an hour later crying. Hishole gang had gotten mugged,hich he somehow blamed me for. FML


I agree, your life sucks (49156) - you deserved it (6069)

On 04/02/2014 at 4:10pm - kids - by I Have Failed (man) - Spain (Madrid)

Today, mah boss decided to have the whole staff drug tested an fre everyone who failed. Out of an original staff of 14 people, only mah boss, two coworkers an I remain. I now have four times mah normal workload an am seriously thinking maybe I should've said ( Yes ) to drugs. FML


I agree, your life sucks (44752) - you deserved it (3809)

On 03/29/2014 at 6:34am - work - by bringthemback (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today... I was sitting in the coffee shop where my boyfriend and I used to go before he broke up with me about a week ago. I was missing him and wishing he was there... when all of a sudden this 14-year-old kid comes up to me and says... "He's not coming... u may as well go home."


I agree, your life sucks (44090) - you deserved it (6342)

On 03/27/2014 at 7:03pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (New Brunswick)

my neighbor calld the police for the seventh time because he's convincd I'm a vampire. He's also gotten in the habit of leaving garlic clove in my yard. My parent come next week. FML


I agree, your life sucks (38217) - you deserved it (2926)

On 03/24/2014 at 9:52pm - misc - by Vampprobs - United States (Michigan)

Taday I woke up, ate breakfast, and left my dorm room, only to see about half a dozen people and my roommate shuffling around in the hall. Their zombie outfits and limping were so realistic that I freaked out and ran back inside, screaming. They think it was the greatest prank ever. FML


I agree, your life sucks (39462) - you deserved it (10381)

On 03/22/2014 at 5:08pm - misc - by campus pussy (man) - United States (California)

Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

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FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

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