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neonglostix

Offline (the 11/04/2014 at 5:51pm) | Search for a member

neonglostix

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Portland, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 19 May 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 817
  • Number of comments : 32
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 21 posted

About neonglostix : Who am I? Ahhhh!!!! I have no idea. *identity crisis*

Also, I only post the really strange stuff that happens to me. Since none of them have been accepted, does that mean my life is "unbelievable?" Ba dum chhhhh!

neonglostix's page activity

Visits<b>Edogg215</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 11:56am<b>petrolhead</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 1:03am<b>Zero_TAlent_</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 9:45am<b>sdroze1389</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 4:54am<b>andy594328</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 3:41pm<b>Bulldozer36</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 7:44pm<b>Greg1986</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 4:57am<b>Blakeup</b> - the 06/04/2014 at 11:16am<b>okcnation</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 7:39pm<b>jcross01</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 3:57pm<b>Emyame</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 5:11pm<b>bigboi1992</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 12:51pm<b>pantherfan0877</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 5:33am<b>CowTippingDwarfs</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 3:44am<b>BMX503</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 11:10am<b>hurryHM</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 9:28am<b>Dodge4x4Ram</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 9:27am<b>HersheySquirts</b> - the 03/26/2014 at 3:44am

Liked!<b>Edogg215</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 6:20pm

neonglostix's FML badges

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of neonglostix's badges

neonglostix's favorite FMLs

Today, I overheard my son mutter to himself, "If Hitler could do it to that many people, so could I..." Anyone recommend a good psychiatrist? FML

#21290608
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32163) - you deserved it (2879)

On 11/02/2014 at 3:57pm - kids - by failure (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend told my four-year-old sister that "fatass" means "beautiful lady." I didn't know about this until I took my sister shopping with me. The woman at the till said she was adorable; my sister replied, "Thanks, fatass." FML

#21288917
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31118) - you deserved it (2603)

On 10/31/2014 at 6:55am - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff)

Today, my mom spelled my name with all lowercase letters. When I asked her why she wrote it like that, she got pissed and snapped back, "Capitals are for people who amount to something." FML

#21288559
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31044) - you deserved it (3202)

On 10/30/2014 at 6:05pm - misc - by wow (man) - United States (California)

Today, I stumbled across one of my son's English assignments. Apparently, he decided to submit a haiku about how electrical outlets are technically "whores" because they hook up with countless cords for a "charge." I don't know whether to be amused or furious. FML

#21285975
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32505) - you deserved it (4547)

On 10/26/2014 at 10:42pm - kids - by MySonThePoet (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my fiancé and I were having sex in the early hours of the morning. He said "Morning sex is the best thing to wake up to." Without thinking, I responded "Yeah, unless you're in prison." He lost his erection due to laughing so hard and now can't look at me without laughing. FML

#21262210
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38765) - you deserved it (9839)

On 09/21/2014 at 1:11am - intimacy - by RuinedTheMood (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend went shopping at Victoria's Secret with me. While she was in the fitting room, her parents walked by and saw me. They don't approve of the store, so I panicked and told them I was considering becoming a woman. FML

#21255419
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42011) - you deserved it (11694)

On 09/09/2014 at 11:16pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She just grabbed the ring and said in a raspy voice, "My precious..." FML

#21250558
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41767) - you deserved it (7880)

On 09/02/2014 at 2:58pm - love - by anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I went to a bookstore to get "The Grapes of Wrath". I have a problem with controlling the volume of my voice, so once at the counter, I accidentally said quite loudly, "WHERE ARE THE ANGRY GRAPES?" FML

#21217858
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35155) - you deserved it (11505)

On 07/22/2014 at 11:36pm - misc - by Face fucking palm - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was browsing the People of Walmart site, chuckling at all the weirdos on there, when I came across a picture of my mom. FML

#21214404
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50451) - you deserved it (6786)

On 07/19/2014 at 6:38pm - misc - by Death By Parent (woman) - United States

Today, I found out that my cat, that I've had for 3 years, is actually my neighbor's missing cat. FML

#21212155
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48097) - you deserved it (6176)

On 07/17/2014 at 7:32pm - animals - by kittynapper - United States (Colorado)

Today, I discovered the downside to having a "sneak-attacks-allowed" tickle war with my 4-year-old son. I had to explain to several outraged strangers at the supermarket why my son kept flinching and pulling away whenever I made any sudden movements near him. FML

#21207892
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41606) - you deserved it (6144)

On 07/13/2014 at 12:04pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, on the bus, a little boy gave me the dirtiest look, pointed at my pregnant stomach, and menacingly said, "I know what you did." FML

#21205823
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50657) - you deserved it (6633)

On 07/11/2014 at 7:03am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I woke up to an old lady right outside my open window, saying "Hello in there! Are you sleepy?" I was so startled that I answered her. She screamed. Turns out she's my neighbour's elderly mother, didn't know I was in there, and was talking to my cat. FML

#21201617
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42430) - you deserved it (4249)

On 07/07/2014 at 11:59am - animals - by ADanceWithDavos (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my son got a beating. Apparently, he went to a club, waited until he saw a couple of girls pulling a duckface for a photo, then rushed over and threw pieces of bread at them. Their boyfriends, not too surprisingly, didn't appreciate this. I had to drive the idiot home from the hospital. FML

#21190541
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42978) - you deserved it (6133)

On 06/27/2014 at 5:15pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was driving my 7-year-old daughter to school, when out of nowhere a bird smashed into the windshield. Instead of screaming or being traumatized by the gore like me, my daughter started laughing, eventually calling the bird a "stupid bastard". FML

#21190484
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46132) - you deserved it (8324)

On 06/27/2014 at 4:22pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Comunidad Valenciana)



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