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neonglostix

Offline (the 06/11/2014 at 5:07am) | Search for a member

neonglostix

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Portland, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 19 May 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 639
  • Number of comments : 32
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 21 posted

About neonglostix : Who am I? Ahhhh!!!! I have no idea. *identity crisis*

Also, I only post the really strange stuff that happens to me. Since none of them have been accepted, does that mean my life is "unbelievable?" Ba dum chhhhh!

neonglostix's page activity

Visits<b>Edogg215</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 4:34am<b>Zero_TAlent_</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 9:45am<b>sdroze1389</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 4:54am<b>andy594328</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 3:41pm<b>Bulldozer36</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 7:44pm<b>Greg1986</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 4:57am<b>Blakeup</b> - the 06/04/2014 at 11:16am<b>okcnation</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 7:39pm<b>jcross01</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 3:57pm<b>Emyame</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 5:11pm<b>bigboi1992</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 12:51pm<b>pantherfan0877</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 5:33am<b>CowTippingDwarfs</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 3:44am<b>BMX503</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 11:10am<b>hurryHM</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 9:28am<b>Dodge4x4Ram</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 9:27am<b>HersheySquirts</b> - the 03/26/2014 at 3:44am<b>MakeTodayADTR</b> - the 03/21/2014 at 5:34am

neonglostix's FML badges

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of neonglostix's badges

neonglostix's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to a bookstore to get "The Grapes of Wrath". I have a problem with controlling the volume of my voice, so once at the counter, I accidentally said quite loudly, "WHERE ARE THE ANGRY GRAPES?" FML

#21217858
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30466) - you deserved it (9791)

On 07/22/2014 at 11:36pm - misc - by Face fucking palm - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was browsing the People of Walmart site, chuckling at all the weirdos on there, when I came across a picture of my mom. FML

#21214404
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46978) - you deserved it (6453)

On 07/19/2014 at 6:38pm - misc - by Death By Parent (woman) - United States

Today, I found out that my cat, that I've had for 3 years, is actually my neighbor's missing cat. FML

#21212155
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45437) - you deserved it (5691)

On 07/17/2014 at 7:32pm - animals - by kittynapper - United States (Colorado)

Today, I discovered the downside to having a "sneak-attacks-allowed" tickle war with my 4-year-old son. I had to explain to several outraged strangers at the supermarket why my son kept flinching and pulling away whenever I made any sudden movements near him. FML

#21207892
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39462) - you deserved it (5744)

On 07/13/2014 at 12:04pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, on the bus, a little boy gave me the dirtiest look, pointed at my pregnant stomach, and menacingly said, "I know what you did." FML

#21205823
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48915) - you deserved it (6527)

On 07/11/2014 at 7:03am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I woke up to an old lady right outside my open window, saying "Hello in there! Are you sleepy?" I was so startled that I answered her. She screamed. Turns out she's my neighbour's elderly mother, didn't know I was in there, and was talking to my cat. FML

#21201617
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40595) - you deserved it (4019)

On 07/07/2014 at 11:59am - animals - by ADanceWithDavos (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my son got a beating. Apparently, he went to a club, waited until he saw a couple of girls pulling a duckface for a photo, then rushed over and threw pieces of bread at them. Their boyfriends, not too surprisingly, didn't appreciate this. I had to drive the idiot home from the hospital. FML

#21190541
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42727) - you deserved it (6105)

On 06/27/2014 at 5:15pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was driving my 7-year-old daughter to school, when out of nowhere a bird smashed into the windshield. Instead of screaming or being traumatized by the gore like me, my daughter started laughing, eventually calling the bird a "stupid bastard". FML

#21190484
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45786) - you deserved it (8284)

On 06/27/2014 at 4:22pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Comunidad Valenciana)

Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be witty to buy a miniature stop sign, and hold it up when she gets bored during sex. FML

#21180516
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48732) - you deserved it (13626)

On 06/19/2014 at 10:37am - love - by stopinthenameoflove - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, less than a day after my cranky downstairs neighbor passed away, I woke up to banging sounds against his apartment ceiling, like the ones he used to make whenever I walked around during the night. I'm shitting myself in fear. FML

#21161740
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44495) - you deserved it (4189)

On 06/03/2014 at 3:01pm - misc - by mdsfkljsfsdrewr (man) - Lebanon (Beyrouth)

Today, I took out my phone and realized I butt dialed my girlfriend and left her a 4 minute voicemail of me farting in an echoing toilet bowl. FML

#21158120
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44080) - you deserved it (8299)

On 05/31/2014 at 11:05am - love - by wendtinmypants (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, a girl asked me out on a date to some hot springs, about 2 hours away. After a mile hike, the springs were finally in sight. She then slipped and cut her shin open. I had carry her the mile back and drive her the 2 hours to the ER, where her parents, whom I'd never met, were waiting. FML

#21156317
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47589) - you deserved it (4187)

On 05/29/2014 at 7:46pm - love - by jonchavez - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I collected my students' final essays. One of them submitted a printout of a screenshot he took with his phone. Too bad a browser address bar was still in the shot, along with a "click to read more" link at the bottom. My students are too dumb and lazy to even plagiarize properly. FML

#21148317
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42396) - you deserved it (4393)

On 05/22/2014 at 12:47pm - work - by What am I doing with my life? - United States (Colorado)

Today, I baked a strawberry cake and I didn't have any fresh strawberries for garnish, so I used a can of strawberry pie filling. My neighbors said it looked like the cake was taken from the dumpster behind an abortion clinic. FML

#21146042
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40950) - you deserved it (8054)

On 05/20/2014 at 5:54am - misc - by sothishappened (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I'm moving. While packing, I realized I hadn't seen my cat in a few hours. I called her and realized she was inside one of the hundreds of boxes in my house. I accidentally packed my cat. FML

#21139824
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40970) - you deserved it (15290)

On 05/14/2014 at 4:43pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (South Carolina)



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