neonberries

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Offline (the 10/24/2014 at 9:31am)

neonberries

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2845
  • Number of comments : 103
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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neonberries's page activity

Visits<b>elbrowntown21</b> - the 03/06/2014 at 11:12pm<b>CinemaFreak</b> - the 11/22/2013 at 7:47am<b>Insanityconfined</b> - the 10/11/2013 at 4:53am<b>IHATEFMYLIFE</b> - the 07/28/2013 at 4:46am<b>chargers2588</b> - the 07/21/2013 at 1:40pm<b>jonsmith01973</b> - the 07/17/2013 at 10:36pm<b>endlessoptions78</b> - the 07/16/2013 at 11:37pm<b>ChewyODU</b> - the 07/16/2013 at 1:30pm<b>mattdwyer</b> - the 07/09/2013 at 1:15am<b>awkwardlysmiles</b> - the 07/09/2013 at 12:22am<b>dancinwookie</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 10:50pm<b>sara_rose7</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 10:40pm<b>AestheticGuy</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 10:34pm<b>sweet0cheeks</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 9:23pm<b>tacocatishere</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 8:13pm<b>Cupcake040</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 7:59pm<b>monkeycrutch</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 7:57pm<b>Nordrag</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 7:25pm

neonberries's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of neonberries's badges

neonberries's favorite FMLs

Today, my son thought it was a good idea to spray deodorant into his mouth because he wanted fresh breath. This resulted in him passing out. My son is 17. FML

by Ramis182 / 10/03/2011 at 12:26am / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend cheated on me. But he justified it by saying she was a ginger. FML

by anonymous / 09/13/2011 at 8:07pm / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy

Today, while taking a stroll in the park, a kid walked up to me and asked, "Do you believe in unicorns?" I answered, "No." He dunked his ice cream cone on my head, laughed hysterically, and ran off screaming, "BELIEVE!" FML

by unicorn / 09/13/2011 at 5:21pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me by covering my car with post-it notes that read "it's you not me." FML

by rplovez / 09/05/2011 at 7:14pm / Canada / Transportation

Today, my dad told me I'm no longer allowed to see my boyfriend. Apparently there is a deer camera above my driveway that snaps pictures whenever it senses movement. Too bad I didn't know that when I was giving my boyfriend head in the driveway. FML

by Username / 08/31/2011 at 3:36am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my identical twin sister got in trouble for sneaking out of the house to see her boyfriend. My father decided to ground both of us, because it would be "too confusing" for him otherwise. FML

by Monika / 05/05/2011 at 5:04pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, without even trying, I convinced my 17-year-old daughter that blueberries are just peas holding their breath. I have raised a complete airhead. FML

by parentfail / 12/11/2010 at 9:44am / United Kingdom / Kids

Today, my sixteen year old son told me that he's following his guidance counselor's advice: to do what his hero does for a living. The problem? His hero is SpongeBob Squarepants. His ambition in life is to become a fry cook. FML

by Anonymous / 11/07/2010 at 3:15pm / Canada (Quebec) / Kids

Today, after I have spent $3,000 dollars in preparations to move in with my girlfriend of 2 and 1/2 years, she confesses she's a mental patient who stole someone elses identity. She was telling the truth. FML

by IMayBeAFool / 10/13/2009 at 2:38am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me by sending me a Bumper Sticker on Facebook that said "Bitch, let's get married". FML

by mylifesucks / 08/30/2009 at 12:40pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, I walked into my new maths class. I stepped inside only to be yelled at by the teacher for nearly 15 minutes. I was then told never to enter her class again and was sent to the principal. My identical twin brother was in her class the period before me. He also has a thing for older women. FML

by slamo / 08/06/2009 at 6:10am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I came home to find a BMW partially blocking my driveway. I was already having a bad day, and was upset that some stuck up fool blocked my driveway, so I keyed the driver's side. 5 minutes later my parents show up. The BMW was a graduation gift for me. FML

by Stoopid / 07/07/2009 at 1:25pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my daughter had just left for a date with her boyfriend. All of a sudden, she runs back in the house screaming "I forgot to take my birth control!" That is not something a father wants to hear. FML

by dad / 06/29/2009 at 12:38pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids

Today, my adorable five and a half year old boy told me that when he grows up he's going to be my boyfriend. I thought it was kinda cute until I asked him why. "Because you need one." FML

by Anonymous / 06/10/2009 at 9:12am / United States (Maine) / Kids

Today, I was at the gynecologist and he was performing a routine check-up. He was a new doctor and I was just slightly uncomfortable with him. About mid-check-up, as he felt around my uterus, he said in a cartoonish voice, "Oh, it's so squishy up here." The doctor turned me into a sock puppet. FML

by Anonymous / 04/20/2009 at 1:55pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health