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neonberries

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neonberries
  • Town/Country : London, UK
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 754
  • Number of comments : 103
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

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neonberries's favorite FMLs

Today, I received a letter from the state saying my 14-year-old daughter is now legally recognized as a male. I have no idea what happened. FML

#18766108
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36767) - you deserved it (3391)

On 01/10/2012 at 12:43pm - kids - by Anonymous - India

Today, I guess I accidentally left Facebook open on my work computer while I went to the bathroom, because my boss updated my status to "Unemployed." FML

#18765651
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12359) - you deserved it (47148)

On 01/10/2012 at 10:34am - work - by Needsanewjob (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I bought a key finder that responds to loud, high-pitched, annoying tones. It beeps every time I talk. FML

#18760166
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10306) - you deserved it (17069)

On 01/09/2012 at 8:30pm - misc - by annoying (woman) - United States

Today, my mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg bag of carrots, and nothing else. She then informed me that, for as long as my girlfriend and I keep 'going at it like rabbits', she would be feeding me like one. FML

#18733573
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19012) - you deserved it (37896)

On 01/07/2012 at 5:27am - intimacy - by Danny - Australia

Today, my mother thought it would be a good idea to tell me that I was conceived on an airplane toilet. FML

#18728247
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26554) - you deserved it (2378)

On 01/06/2012 at 6:16pm - intimacy - by Gemma - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, I was on the train listening to my iPod on shuffle. The "Oompa Loompa" song came on, and slightly amused, I started humming it. It wasn't until I noticed that the man next to me was a midget that I understood the horrified looks I was getting. FML

#18716043
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30105) - you deserved it (8628)

On 01/05/2012 at 1:39pm - misc - by lorahayes (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I accidentally moaned my own name during sex. FML

#18703291
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26538) - you deserved it (20627)

On 01/04/2012 at 1:43am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend hated the idea of sex so much she was willing to give me money for a stripper. FML

#18693659
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30147) - you deserved it (4874)

On 01/03/2012 at 2:17am - intimacy - by Cpt Colin (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was pushed over and robbed in a parking lot by a man in an ugly Christmas sweater. When I looked up, I was too distracted by the sweater to even look at his face. FML

#18681564
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25193) - you deserved it (7587)

On 01/02/2012 at 12:40am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up after a long night of partying. When I went to wash off my face, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. My missing tooth was almost enough to make me overlook my black eye. FML

#18674490
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9719) - you deserved it (27062)

On 01/01/2012 at 12:19pm - misc - by msnewyearseve - United States (New York)

Today, my favorite fish died. To make things better my parents thought to take me out to dinner. We ate sushi. FML

#18661224
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24495) - you deserved it (5713)

On 12/31/2011 at 3:44am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I texted my boyfriend on the way to the hospital to tell him I needed stitches, after my brother's dog bit me on the breast. His response? "Pics or it didn't happen." FML

#18643236
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26668) - you deserved it (4835)

On 12/29/2011 at 10:48am - health - by OH COME ON (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my 18-year-old son asked me if I was a virgin. I still don't know what to say to him. FML

#18626435
332 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35657) - you deserved it (6345)

On 12/27/2011 at 4:50pm - intimacy - by blegh (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML

#18531059
182 comments

Today, I went to go get my driver's license, only to be told that I need a copy of my birth certificate. In order to get the copy of my birth certificate, I need a driver's license or my passport. In order to get a passport, I need a copy of my birth certificate or a drivers license. I have none. FML

#18385235
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40577) - you deserved it (4756)

On 11/29/2011 at 1:40pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States



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