nemowhite

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nemowhite

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 18 June 1992 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 129
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About nemowhite : I play guitar and skateboard. Other than that, u have to get to kno me.

nemowhite's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

nemowhite's favorite FMLs

Today, an unknown number left me a lengthy voicemail of what sounds like two people having sex. This is the closest I've gotten to real-life sex in 2 years. I listened to it three times. FML

by anonymous / 09/05/2012 at 12:44am / Australia / Intimacy

Today, at a supermarket entrance, a seemingly drunk old lady said, "Sir?" as I passed by. I just ignored her and walked in. When I walked out with my groceries fifteen minutes later, several people were standing around her, calling for an ambulance. She'd passed out on the ground. FML

by Anonymous / 09/04/2012 at 1:26pm / Netherlands (Utrecht) / Miscellaneous

Today, after a visit with my mom, I started feeling sick. I meant to send her a text asking if she had gotten sick lately, but I accidentally sent a text asking if she had gotten dick lately. FML

by Anonymous / 09/02/2012 at 7:47pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I found out my friend swapped my girlfriend and probation officer's numbers in my phone. My girlfriend is wondering why I asked her permission to leave the country, and my probation officer said she can't wait to see me again. FML

by Anonymous / 09/02/2012 at 1:34pm / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me by rapping in a voicemail. FML

by rotezora / 09/02/2012 at 8:44am / Switzerland (Basel-Stadt) / Love

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I was apparently really loud, because when we finished I heard his mom and grandma sarcastically imitating me outside. FML

by screamer / 09/02/2012 at 2:41am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was icing an injured foot with a frozen water bottle as the doctor directed me. When I was done, I picked the bottle up and immediately dropped it on the same injured foot, which is now swollen and bruised. FML

by CC / 09/02/2012 at 2:27am / United States (Michigan) / Health

Today, a dog attacked me. Its owner, instead of apologizing and helping me, said it was my own fault for making it think I was an attacker by running past them. We were on a jogging track. FML

by Anonymous / 09/01/2012 at 7:15pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Animals

Today, I was watching some pretty intense porn on my Macbook. I unplugged the second monitor so I could lie on my bed. Instead of defaulting to the screen, Airplay somehow synced it to the living room TV, where the rest of my family was watching a movie. FML

by WhyAppleWhy / 09/01/2012 at 7:14pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, my dog, who has been specially trained to go for help when I'm having a seizure, went to alert my parents downstairs that I was having an emergency. The "emergency" was me masturbating. FML

by thewhompingwillow / 09/01/2012 at 1:56pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, I got a perm in an attempt to prove to my family that I'd been doing well with my life since I last saw them almost a year ago. I ended up going over for dinner looking like Bozo the Clown thanks to my idiot stylist, and my brothers wouldn't stop mocking me about it. FML

by Bozo / 08/31/2012 at 3:57am / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got rear-ended. An old woman got out and came over to my car window. I thought she was coming to apologize and trade insurance companies. Instead, she poured her soda on my head, ran back into her car, and drove away. FML

by Anonymous / 08/30/2012 at 10:47pm / United States (Connecticut) / Transportation

Today, I was playing with my vibrator. I was getting close when all of a sudden it short-circuited and made a sound like a laughing clown, scaring me half to death. FML

by Geckosrock99 / 08/30/2012 at 10:45pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.