Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

negb

Online | Search for a member

negb

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 11 November 1994 (19 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5879
  • Number of comments : 128
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About negb : •I had dreads for 2 years but got rid of them. I plan on starting a new set soon.
•I have 12 piercings and want more, as well as tattoos
•I'm a gamer

negb's page activity

Visits<b>emmachristine</b> - 10 hours ago<b>andiesaur</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 2:07am<b>qwertkinz</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 9:29am<b>allred1997</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 1:48am<b>badnelly123</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 12:06am<b>colby6666</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 11:54pm<b>TheKingKen</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 7:56pm<b>Tobiaspe</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 3:58am<b>Adam5858</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 11:41am<b>PoppyBear45</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 9:46pm<b>linds3y</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 1:49pm<b>tennischamp5</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 10:45pm<b>JonD63</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 2:44am<b>jennaroo_06</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 1:53pm<b>dzhonatan</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 2:32am<b>Bulldozer36</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 6:53pm<b>the_rude_dude</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 9:47am<b>melinal</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 7:06am

negb's FML badges

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of negb's badges

negb's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out my 97-year-old Grandma has an imaginary 30-year-old boyfriend. I laughed until my mom said, "She's still doing better than you. You don't even have an imaginary boyfriend, let alone a real one." FML

#17685680
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26860) - you deserved it (9109)

On 09/07/2011 at 12:30am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I went to Victoria's Secret to buy a bra. A woman sized me and then gave me a bra to try on in the fitting room. To my pleasure, it seemed to fit well. The woman who had sized me came in to check on me and replied, "Yeah, it happens. Not everyone can be symmetrical." FML

#17680068
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24594) - you deserved it (2292)

On 09/06/2011 at 12:22pm - misc - by lopsided - United States

Today, my boyfriend let me know that when we met, he wouldn't have even talked to me if I was as fat as I am now. But lucky for me, he stays with me because, "there's love or something." FML

#17679754
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27567) - you deserved it (11674)

On 09/06/2011 at 11:11am - love - by emopoe - United States

Today, my roommate got completely wasted. He was so drunk he thought the fridge was talking. He decided to make it stop by unplugging it. Most of our food is basically ruined now. FML

Today, I approached my daughter and told her she needs to clean her room. Her response was, "Thank you Captain Obvious." She's 4. FML

#17670632
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26964) - you deserved it (9267)

On 09/05/2011 at 1:04pm - kids - by kidswithnomanners (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got my first handjob. She ripped out a pube. It hurt so bad my eyes teared up. She asked what was wrong and not wanting to make her feel guilty I had to tell her it was "Just so good." FML

#17659578
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35942) - you deserved it (9401)

On 09/04/2011 at 5:36am - intimacy - by southernluxe - United States

Today, I was at the library, and had finally found the book I'd been looking for, when a man approaches me, says "The main character dies at the end", and walks away. FML

#17655744
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30861) - you deserved it (3008)

On 09/03/2011 at 8:04pm - misc - by haha - United States (California)

Today, I was at my friend's house and accidentally blew out a candle that was supposed to be lit for seven days straight. It was in honor of her grandmother who had recently died. FML

#17655695
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25521) - you deserved it (12797)

On 09/03/2011 at 7:53pm - misc - by appaluver (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my six year old nephew told me to peel off my skin because, "They say you look prettier on the inside." FML

#17652059
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28440) - you deserved it (3039)

On 09/03/2011 at 10:36am - kids - by abby181 - United States (Colorado)

Today, I went to a restaurant with a girl I really liked. She started crying when an overweight family walked in and loudly sobbed about how the parents were "murdering" their children. This made the father of that family try to fight me. FML

#17649932
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30976) - you deserved it (3248)

On 09/03/2011 at 1:33am - health - by whatdidIdo (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I tried to scare a new college friend by sneaking up behind her wearing a mask. It worked. And so did her lightning fast reflexes developed from multiple martial arts championships. My 2 cracked ribs, broken nose and bruised ballsack can now be added to her list of achievements. FML

#17649868
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10240) - you deserved it (47010)

On 09/03/2011 at 1:24am - misc - by only1bigdogme - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I have been released from jail because my idiot friends decided to get me a surprise hooker for my birthday. Turns out "Candy" was actually an undercover cop. My friends ditched me. I was the only one arrested. FML

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Because she farted, and thought it was "too awkward". FML

#17649576
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35617) - you deserved it (3381)

On 09/03/2011 at 12:48am - love - by CHStennis_4 - United States (Utah)

Today, it was my last day at my dad's. I thought he'd want to say goodbye, instead he told me, "Hope you've got all your shit. Anything you leave, I'm burning." FML

#17649393
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28451) - you deserved it (2299)

On 09/03/2011 at 12:33am - misc - by Panda_Bearr - United States (Michigan)

Today, I asked my Dad if it was true that my mother had a C-section at my birth. He replied "Yeah, so technically you weren't even born, you were surgically removed, like a tumor." FML

#17638273
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34842) - you deserved it (4393)

On 09/01/2011 at 7:40pm - misc - by mannydanny (woman) - United Kingdom (Coventry)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: