Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

negb

Online | Search for a member

negb

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 11 November 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 8812
  • Number of comments : 140
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About negb : •I had dreads for 2 years but got rid of them. I plan on starting a new set soon.
•I have 12 piercings and want more, as well as tattoos
•I'm a gamer

negb's page activity

Visits<b>Woedel</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 1:52pm<b>CowTippingDwarfs</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 6:53am<b>spunkiesag12</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 11:09pm<b>mutiplyyou</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 2:33pm<b>portlandblazers</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 4:57pm<b>hmmbrd77</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 12:03pm<b>tjcall12</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 10:14am<b>TommyG493</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 11:24pm<b>NerdGirl321</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 4:03pm<b>littlekellilee</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 7:47pm<b>jjones0818</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 9:02am<b>fancy_98</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 7:34am<b>cmcgarr</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 9:25pm<b>mccrightp</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 6:05pm<b>flux_panic</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 1:54am<b>DrSkillz</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 10:46pm<b>patbri18</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 3:35pm<b>youdontknowjj</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 2:57pm

Liked!<b>youdontknowjj</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 8:57pm

negb's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of negb's badges

negb's favorite FMLs

Today, I went grocery shopping. Being a bartender, I had a huge wad of dollar bills from cash tips. As I was counting them at the register, I looked at the cashier and joked, "You probably think I'm a stripper or something." He looked me up and down and said, "Uh... hell no." FML

#18129165
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23599) - you deserved it (21605)

On 11/01/2011 at 1:52pm - misc - by bakedplum (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while standing in line at the supermarket, I reached past my wife to get a pack of gum. She jokingly did the "battered wife flinch" to get a laugh, and smiled at me from behind her hand. The cop staring at us obviously didn't notice the smile and definitely didn't think it was funny. FML

#18120236
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26127) - you deserved it (3506)

On 10/31/2011 at 11:07am - misc - by spacemanspiff78 (man) -

Today, my dad walked in on me masturbating. All I could say was, "Uh I had an itch..." FML

#18100630
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16998) - you deserved it (30937)

On 10/29/2011 at 12:43am - intimacy - by me - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my pregnancy test came back positive. The only way I could have gotten pregnant is from having gotten drunk and sleeping with my ex. We broke up because I didn't want children. FML

#18088166
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11869) - you deserved it (50138)

On 10/27/2011 at 11:24am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Shropshire)

Today, I was happily playing with my young niece and nephew. Their grandmother was watching and said, "You are so good with children! Why don't you have any?" My husband died 3 months ago. FML

#18076540
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51296) - you deserved it (2526)

On 10/25/2011 at 10:28pm - kids - by kiddoc - United States (New York)

Today, I was sitting in my room while my mom was talking to my uncle. I had my door open. She said "Yeah my son doesn't know I have his phone password. Girls nowadays are real sluts." FML

#18051184
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28398) - you deserved it (8189)

On 10/23/2011 at 1:30am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I ran into an old friend. I asked her how she was doing, then asked, "And your mum?" Just as the words escaped my lips, I remembered her mum died a few years ago. Trying to save face, I messed up again and blurted, "She still in the same graveyard?" FML

#18041933
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16966) - you deserved it (46176) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/21/2011 at 10:09pm - misc - by Virginiedetibo - France

Today, while at my job as a hostess, I was seating a couple and their adorable little girl. I tried to ask how old she was, but what came out was, "Aww, what breed is she?" FML

#18039986
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17357) - you deserved it (31381)

On 10/21/2011 at 5:27pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found out my girlfriend doesn't go to work, she's actually been seeing another guy purely for sex, and each time he gives her money to "support her unemployment." Pretty sure that means I'm dating a prostitute. FML

#18037995
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49702) - you deserved it (3874)

On 10/21/2011 at 10:55am - intimacy - by prostitutes boyfriend - United Kingdom (Cornwall)

Today, I found out my girlfriend doesn't go to work, she's actually been seeing another guy purely for sex, and each time he gives her money to "support her unemployment." Pretty sure that means I'm dating a prostitute. FML

#18037995
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49702) - you deserved it (3874)

On 10/21/2011 at 10:55am - intimacy - by prostitutes boyfriend - United Kingdom (Cornwall)

Today, I was caught skinny dipping by the police. With the arresting officer's daughter. FML

#18035123
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40132) - you deserved it (10619)

On 10/20/2011 at 10:48pm - intimacy - by skinny dipper - United States (Washington)

Today, I called my boyfriend to see if he wanted to come over to my house. He said he couldn't because he was out of town. That would have be perfectly acceptable, if I hadn't called him on his house phone. FML

#18032391
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36069) - you deserved it (3020)

On 10/20/2011 at 5:18pm - love - by cmd102 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, this weird girl started texting me. I really didn't want to talk to her, so I texted back, "This message could not be delivered because of a temporery network setup error. Error 2128-226110." She replied, "You spelt temporary wrong." FML

#18026685
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10458) - you deserved it (60815)

On 10/19/2011 at 9:38pm - misc - by tommyboy783 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, after having had sex with my girlfriend for the first time the night before, she went to the doctor. He said she's still physically a virgin. FML

#18015213
321 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51232) - you deserved it (8056)

On 10/18/2011 at 1:34pm - intimacy - by Mini-wanker (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years felt comfortable enough with me to disclose that he had previously spent 4 years in a mental institute because he tried to kill his mother. He also told me we will be together forever. I'm scared. FML

#18005142
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52812) - you deserved it (4887)

On 10/17/2011 at 6:02am - love - by bubba - China



Idan Schneider's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #11
  • Yes, we're late. We've been doing stuff, the New Year and our birthday party got in the way, but there's no excuse. So, we're sorry for not churning out another Best of the Worst in due…

Wednesday 28 January 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: