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necomni

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necomni
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 18929
  • Number of comments : 72
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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necomni's favorite FMLs

Today, I'm in Spain, and told the kids with whom I will be working that I was excited to be working with them. Only the form of excitement I used apparently refers to sexual excitement. Basically, I told the kids I was sexually aroused to be working with them. FML

#30294
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39750) - you deserved it (11866)

On 02/12/2009 at 7:14am - intimacy - by thegoldenboy3 (man) - Spain (Andalucia)

Today, I found out that when I masturbate at night while watching internet porn I cast a huge shadow on the curtain and the entire street is able to see it. FML

#30273
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18279) - you deserved it (44490)

On 02/12/2009 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Evil_Egbert (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, I took my dog to the vet and she was diagnosed with obesity. The vet then told me that dogs usually imitate their owners eating and behavior habits. FML

#26407
15 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16327) - you deserved it (21470)

On 02/11/2009 at 5:05pm - animals - by qwertyasdfghzxcv - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I played games on Barbie.com and gave up after 10 minutes. They were hard. FML

#14117
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9175) - you deserved it (35083)

On 02/07/2009 at 10:19pm - misc - by lilzoot (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was passing a building and saw a fat, ugly person inside. I started to laugh and noticed it was my reflection. FML

#13325
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10333) - you deserved it (51531)

On 02/07/2009 at 1:16pm - misc - by name50 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was eating ice cream and I noticed some on my jeans so I wiped it off with my finger and licked it. It was bird shit. FML

#9438
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43972) - you deserved it (13048)

On 02/05/2009 at 8:23am - animals - by #201 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I fell asleep. I felt something on my face. I batted it away. It was my hamster. It died from a concussion upon hitting the wall. FML

#8687
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31338) - you deserved it (12045)

On 02/04/2009 at 6:29pm - animals - by EpicFail (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got in line at the grocery store. The woman in front of me looked right at me, turned to her friend, and said "That reminds me, I forgot to get acne cream." FML

#8528
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27865) - you deserved it (1780)

On 02/04/2009 at 5:23pm - misc - by 918boyz (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I had a wet dream. When I woke up, I was touching myself. Unfortunately, I also woke up to find that I had fallen asleep on the couch after eating too much at a family reunion. When I looked around the room, over 10 relatives were giving me nasty looks. FML

#4708
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33476) - you deserved it (7239)

On 02/01/2009 at 12:29pm - misc - by frankrizzo - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I asked the girl I like if she wanted to go to the movies, she said yes and I said I'd let her pick the movie. She picked the movie, "Just Friends". FML

#4600
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26061) - you deserved it (3165)

On 02/01/2009 at 9:40am - love - by JLoRd - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was playing with 3 kids I look after. The middle one has just learned about sex and started chanting that I had done it with the eldest as a joke. We were in the garden and the neighbours heard. Now I am fired, have to leave the house and am being investigated by the police. FML

#4463
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54704) - you deserved it (2322)

On 02/01/2009 at 3:54am - intimacy - by Jack - United Kingdom (London)

Today, a girl I've had a huge crush on for a long time told another friend of ours to get a life. I, in my infinite genius responded that her mom needed to get a life. She ran out of the room bawling. I got slapped in the face and informed that her mom had died not long ago. FML

#4336
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8778) - you deserved it (30507)

On 02/01/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by Huge A Hole - United States (Kansas)

Today, I broke the glass of the photocopier trying to photocopy my ass. My boss will be here in five hours. She'll know it was me. I'm the only night guardian. FML

#1986
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4497) - you deserved it (36265)

On 01/21/2009 at 5:03am - work - by Wititipwitpwit - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went downstairs to grab a snack and a glass of Silk (you know, the soymilk). When I get back to my room, I go to throw the snack on my bed to shut the door, but I tossed with the wrong hand. FML

#1926
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9648) - you deserved it (17468)

On 01/20/2009 at 4:06pm - misc - by crystalwho - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my brother's girlfriend dumped him. I overheard my mom tell him "It could be worse. Your brother can't even get a girlfriend". FML

#1919
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22196) - you deserved it (1533)

On 01/20/2009 at 3:41pm - love - by Taylor - United States (Oklahoma)



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