necomni

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necomni

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 20672
  • Number of comments : 72
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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necomni's page activity

Visits<b>subzero121314</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 12:16am<b>awesomepantTamia</b> - the 01/09/2015 at 5:24pm<b>cebrion</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 12:39pm<b>Scorcher255</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 9:42pm<b>mimihuseen_</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 8:27pm<b>gingalife8991</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 4:31pm<b>phoneaddict13</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 3:26pm<b>Pantalaimon</b> - the 03/06/2014 at 4:49pm<b>spiers1</b> - the 01/20/2014 at 12:35am<b>AllyMoree</b> - the 12/30/2013 at 6:47pm<b>melons</b> - the 12/28/2013 at 5:00pm<b>diving</b> - the 09/09/2013 at 12:20am<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 10:51am<b>TheMisfit</b> - the 10/07/2010 at 11:29am<b>teihas</b> - the 02/09/2010 at 8:48pm<b>2345</b> - the 11/08/2009 at 5:46am<b>Deadjuicy</b> - the 06/16/2009 at 2:12pm<b>sfsdfsf</b> - the 05/28/2009 at 2:33am

necomni's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

necomni's favorite FMLs

Today, I drove my two kids to their friends' houses. In my convertible, looking what I though was my best, I slowed down outside a bar with cute 20 year old girls in front. My daughter noticed the speed reduction and said, "Keep driving dad, you're fat and mom left you for a reason." FML

by Fat Dad / 03/03/2009 at 4:27pm / United States (Missouri) / Kids

Today, I was driving at night and saw a small animal run across the road. I slammed on my brakes and got rear-ended. The animal turned out to be a plastic grocery bag. FML

by himtopia19 / 03/02/2009 at 7:09pm / United States (Indiana) / Transportation

Today, I was singing Alicia Keys in the shower and hitting the insanely high notes. My father ran into the bathroom and threw open the shower door, screaming. He thought I was wailing in pain. FML

by legit / 03/02/2009 at 12:22am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was babysitting this one year old. She just learned how to say yes so if you asked her ANYTHING, she'd say yes. I asked her if she liked vegetables and she said "yes!" Then I asked her if I was pretty... she looked at me and said "NO." FML

by hi / 03/01/2009 at 3:29pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I was walking through Borders with my girlfriend, when we pass a girl scout cookies stand. I see a box of Samoas, my favorite, point at them, and shout, 'YEAH'. My girlfriend looks shocked. Behind the box of cookies was a five year old scout bending over, with her bottom pointed at me. FML

by Scottrick / 03/01/2009 at 12:55pm / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, I was stepping out of the shower while home alone. I heard voices coming from the living room. I grabbed a bat to defend my self and ran into the living room. I slipped on my tile floor and smashed my TV with the bat. No one was in my house but I left my radio turned on. FML

by Slipperywhenwet / 02/28/2009 at 8:08am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at the beach with my buddy. Messing around, he swam up behind me and dunked me under the water. Naturally, moments later I swam behind him, grabbed both his ankles and stood up, flipping him completely, only to see him watching me from a few feet away. I flipped a 70 year old man. FML

by beachbum / 02/27/2009 at 1:03am / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I took my dog for a walk down by the river. I was throwing sticks for him with one hand and talking on the phone with the other. Then I accidentally threw my phone in the river instead of the stick and was standing there talking to the stick while my phone sat at the bottom of the river. FML

by El Boz / 02/22/2009 at 9:52am / United States (Maryland) / Animals

Today, I got an email from my professor with my grade for a paper. It said, "Solid writing, but you should have proofread your final draft more carefully." In a moment of annoyance, I typed in the reply box, "God should have proofread your FACE more carefully." My elbow hit the send button. FML

by Noname / 02/21/2009 at 4:43pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up at 5 and studied for my 9:30am exam for 4 hours. When I left my dorm at 9, it was dark outside. Turns out I slept through the entire day and woke up at 5pm. FML

by AbsolutelyEffed / 02/19/2009 at 11:57am / United States (California) / Work

Today, I decided to watch some porn before bed. The lights were off and my roommate was already asleep behind me. I put on my noise-canceling headphones and turned up the volume all the way. After a few strokes my roommate got up and plugged in the headphones for me. FML

by lunarboy / 02/16/2009 at 7:24pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was watching TV when the Jim Beam commercial came on with the hot girl saying how she likes her men fat and hairy. My mom walked in and said, "See honey, you still have a chance." FML

by LonelyInLA / 02/16/2009 at 4:45pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went in for my 2nd day working at my internship. My bosses greeted me and told me we were going to have a meeting. The meeting was to listen to the drunk voicemails I left them on Saturday. FML

by Noname / 02/16/2009 at 1:23pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I lost 200 dollars while playing poker with my new sunglasses. Turns out you can see the cards in the reflection. FML

by jwz / 02/16/2009 at 10:25am / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked by my roommate and his girlfriend while they were hugging. I asked "what's up lovebirds?". Turns out they were in the middle of a breakup. FML

by dammit_ / 02/16/2009 at 2:36am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous