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ne22y

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ne22y
  • Town/Country : Hermantown, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 30 July 1990 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 647
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Today, I gave my boyfriend a spontaneous blowjob while we were watching TV. After he finished, I tried to pull a sexy move I'd seen in a porno by zipping his pants back up with my teeth. His foreskin got caught in the zipper and we spent the next few hours in the emergency room. FML

#3604059 (254)

I agree, your life sucks (13998) - you deserved it (43001)

On 07/09/2009 at 3:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I went to see my grandmother. She has alzheimers and doesn't remember me sometimes, and today she thought I was her sister and that I was trying to steal my grandfather from her. She hit me with a cane and called me a slut. FML

#3603925 (129)

I agree, your life sucks (46171) - you deserved it (1949)

On 07/09/2009 at 3:29am - misc - by lady_jeni - United States (California)

Today, I asked a buddy of mine if he wanted to see a movie. He said he was busy that day, so I decided to go alone. Midway through, the couple behind me is making out and kicking my seat. I turn around, and it's my ex-girlfriend making out with my buddy. FML

#3601601 (96)

I agree, your life sucks (40624) - you deserved it (1904)

On 07/09/2009 at 1:49am - misc - by frankfukhergood - Canada

Today, my cousin told me that the stop signs outlined with a white line were optional. Later, a cop pulled me over, when I asked why he said, "You ran that stop sign back there." I explained what my cousin had told me and he looked at me funny and replied, "All stop signs have a white outline." FML

#3593613 (261)

I agree, your life sucks (7773) - you deserved it (71113)

On 07/08/2009 at 9:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my boyfriend picked me up to come spend the night at his house, and on the way he started pulling over to get some condoms. I told him no need, I was on my period. He turned the car around and took me home. FML

#3581512 (386)

I agree, your life sucks (62004) - you deserved it (10973)

On 07/08/2009 at 1:06pm - intimacy - by onething (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had sex with my fiancée. My panties fell behind the bed. Later, when I went to get them, I found three other pairs. Only one pair was mine. FML

#3574119 (139)

I agree, your life sucks (58651) - you deserved it (2857)

On 07/08/2009 at 2:46am - intimacy - by cheated (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my nine year old son went around telling everyone that me and my husband had a "foursome" last month. It turns out that some douchebag counselor at the camp he goes to thought it would be funny to tell him that a foursome was a divorce. All of his friend's parents think we're kinky freaks. FML

#3571839 (119)

I agree, your life sucks (35123) - you deserved it (2307)

On 07/08/2009 at 1:02am - kids - by campmom (woman) -

Today, my mom had a talk with me while my dad was out. She said to stop using her lotion for my masturbation sessions. I asked her how long did she know. She replied with, "Ever since we put up that camera in the living room for burglars, where you happen to watch your porn." FML

#3354281 (152)

I agree, your life sucks (21426) - you deserved it (33411)

On 06/30/2009 at 12:49am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was riding my bike on the side of the road because there was no sidewalk. Then a car with a loud horn honked at me. Pissed off, I turned around and screamed "shut the fuck up!" It was my girlfriend's parents saying hi. FML

#3349914 (115)

I agree, your life sucks (9555) - you deserved it (44582)

On 06/29/2009 at 11:01pm - misc - by ZZ - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I learned my 40 year old father is marrying a girl barely a year and a half older than me. She told me not to be afraid to call her mom. I was torn between punching her in the face and vomiting. FML

#3264690 (280)

I agree, your life sucks (55799) - you deserved it (1936)

On 06/27/2009 at 1:32am - misc - by OfCourse (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I tried to keep a drunk girl from driving by holding her keys, she had a spare set in her purse. She hit me with her car when I was walking home. FML

#3252753 (107)

I agree, your life sucks (47456) - you deserved it (1986)

On 06/26/2009 at 7:36pm - misc - by Chedder (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, at the airport, my mom began talking about how useless the war in Iraq was, and how dumb the soldiers that serve there were for enlisting during the war. The soldier at the vending machine near us caught my eye. I mouthed, "Sorry" and he mouthed, slowly, "You fuckin' better be." FML

#3232657 (766)

I agree, your life sucks (67621) - you deserved it (13887)

On 06/26/2009 at 3:57am - misc - by ILuvYouSoldiers (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I went to write "Happy Bday, I Love You" on my girlfriend's car windows to surprise her when she woke up. I was the one who got the surprise when I saw her, in her backseat, having sex. FML

#3165290 (202)

I agree, your life sucks (60970) - you deserved it (2081)

On 06/24/2009 at 2:13am - intimacy - by anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had sex with this guy who I like very much. As he went to leave I decided to give him one last thrill. So I reached down his pants and started to rub and stroke him. He abruptly pulled my hand out, when I asked why, he points behind me, my mom watched the whole thing. FML

#3143292 (280)

I agree, your life sucks (20112) - you deserved it (51242)

On 06/23/2009 at 11:14am - intimacy - by wastedlove (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while reading some chemistry notes I came across the term "solid water". Completely stumped, I asked myself, "What the hell is solid water?" Then I heard my little cousin say "ice." I'm a 4th year science major in university. He still checks the closet for monsters. FML

#3142518 (263)

I agree, your life sucks (20361) - you deserved it (59134)

On 06/23/2009 at 10:19am - work - by uneek14 (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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