ndbrown

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Offline (the 11/22/2014 at 4:46am)

ndbrown

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 23 November 1999 (17 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1228
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About ndbrown : You better check yourself before you shrek yourself.

ndbrown's page activity

Visits<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 10:50pm<b>miggymikyy</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 4:13pm<b>RandEm2497</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 1:43am<b>PerSueTwo513</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 9:45am<b>emmaaadotcom</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 6:37pm<b>heyithinkyourhot</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 3:03pm<b>sadiegirl17</b> - the 11/06/2013 at 2:22am<b>magicalskittlez</b> - the 11/03/2013 at 8:16pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 10/20/2013 at 9:10pm

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ndbrown's favorite FMLs

Today, I was giving lifeguard instructions to a couple of teens. When I quizzed them about what they should do when someone is choking, one of them said, "Take a step back" and winked at me. FML

by Australian Lifeguard / 10/21/2014 at 11:18pm / United States (Arizona) / Work

Today, my 9-year-old daughter was acting out and wouldn't do her homework. I told her that if she didn't study, she wouldn't get her acceptance letter from Hogwarts. She looked into my eyes, straight through to my soul and said, "Hogwarts isn't real, retard." FML

by Anonymous / 10/18/2014 at 3:29pm / United Kingdom / Kids

Today, I was pulled over by a cop. He told me one of my lights was busted, and I couldn't help but point out that one of his was out too. He said, "Thanks, I'll get that fixed right away." then gave me a ticket. FML

by Anonymous / 09/29/2014 at 11:42am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation

Today, I asked my 12-year-old son what he wanted for his birthday. He looked me dead in the eyes and said, "A whore." FML

by Anonymous / 09/26/2014 at 5:07pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I were planning on having sex. He first excused himself to the bathroom, then returned with a sad face saying he had fumbled with himself in the bathroom to get "ready" and accidentally came. He said, "I was thinking of you though." FML

by hahaohyeahwow / 09/24/2014 at 12:24am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I heard what sounded like high-pitched feminine moaning coming from my son's room. I knocked and walked in, expecting to catch him red handed with a girl. He'd just beaten his high score on Flappy Bird. FML

by royallymessedup / 09/21/2014 at 11:33am / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, my fiancé and I were having sex in the early hours of the morning. He said "Morning sex is the best thing to wake up to." Without thinking, I responded "Yeah, unless you're in prison." He lost his erection due to laughing so hard and now can't look at me without laughing. FML

by RuinedTheMood / 09/21/2014 at 1:11am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I complimented a guy on his beard. His response? "Thanks. Wanna sit on it?" FML

Today, I walked in on my dad giving my mom a striptease. FML

by SCARRED / 08/29/2014 at 4:15pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, while my teacher was demonstrating how to use the ultrasound equipment, we all figured out that I'm pregnant. FML

by whotouchedyou1 / 08/25/2014 at 10:37pm / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, my sister felt guilty and told me about the changes she secretly made to my résumé months ago. She'd put "doing your mom" and "corporate espionage" as my hobbies, and "Justin Bieber's pussy waxer" as a previous job. No wonder I'm still unemployed. FML

by fuck you, tasha / 08/24/2014 at 5:50pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Work

Today, two children decided it would be fun to try to ding-dong-ditch me. I never answered the door as I saw them running away. They did it a couple of times before getting bored. That's when they decided it would be fun to come into my house instead. FML

by I hate children / 08/18/2014 at 8:10am / United Kingdom (Liverpool) / Kids

Today, to spice things up, my boyfriend suggested we wear disguises. Amused by the idea, I accepted. That's how I ended up having sex with Gandalf. FML

by Degueusement / 08/18/2014 at 12:48am / Intimacy

Today, I tried skydiving for the first time. The professional I was attached to had a boner the whole way down. FML

by emmamrose7 / 08/14/2014 at 11:36pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I went to my new gynecologist. He has an eye twitch, and every time he asks about my genitals, he winks at me. FML

by Anonymous / 08/14/2014 at 11:35pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy