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ndbrown

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ndbrown

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 23 November 1999 (14 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 187
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About ndbrown : You better check yourself before you shrek yourself.

ndbrown's page activity

Visits<b>RandEm2497</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 1:43am<b>PerSueTwo513</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 9:45am<b>emmaaadotcom</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 6:37pm<b>heyithinkyourhot</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 3:03pm<b>miggymikyy</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 4:27pm<b>sadiegirl17</b> - the 11/06/2013 at 2:22am<b>magicalskittlez</b> - the 11/03/2013 at 8:16pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 10/20/2013 at 9:10pm

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ndbrown's favorite FMLs

Today, I was giving lifeguard instructions to a couple of teens. When I quizzed them about what they should do when someone is choking, one of them said, "Take a step back" and winked at me. FML

#21282836
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31639) - you deserved it (3329)

On 10/21/2014 at 11:18pm - work - by Australian Lifeguard - United States (Arizona)

Today, my 9-year-old daughter was acting out and wouldn't do her homework. I told her that if she didn't study, she wouldn't get her acceptance letter from Hogwarts. She looked into my eyes, straight through to my soul and said, "Hogwarts isn't real, retard." FML

#21280509
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33817) - you deserved it (12128)

On 10/18/2014 at 3:29pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was pulled over by a cop. He told me one of my lights was busted, and I couldn't help but point out that one of his was out too. He said, "Thanks, I'll get that fixed right away." then gave me a ticket. FML

#21267623
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36688) - you deserved it (5684)

On 09/29/2014 at 11:42am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I asked my 12-year-old son what he wanted for his birthday. He looked me dead in the eyes and said, "A whore." FML

#21265910
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39881) - you deserved it (6303)

On 09/26/2014 at 5:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend and I were planning on having sex. He first excused himself to the bathroom, then returned with a sad face saying he had fumbled with himself in the bathroom to get "ready" and accidentally came. He said, "I was thinking of you though." FML

Today, I heard what sounded like high-pitched feminine moaning coming from my son's room. I knocked and walked in, expecting to catch him red handed with a girl. He'd just beaten his high score on Flappy Bird. FML

#21262395
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (474) - you deserved it (8088)

On 09/21/2014 at 11:33am - intimacy - by royallymessedup - United Kingdom

Today, my fiancé and I were having sex in the early hours of the morning. He said "Morning sex is the best thing to wake up to." Without thinking, I responded "Yeah, unless you're in prison." He lost his erection due to laughing so hard and now can't look at me without laughing. FML

#21262210
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38286) - you deserved it (9787)

On 09/21/2014 at 1:11am - intimacy - by RuinedTheMood (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I complimented a guy on his beard. His response? "Thanks. Wanna sit on it?" FML

Today, I walked in on my dad giving my mom a striptease. FML

#21247953
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42632) - you deserved it (5705)

On 08/29/2014 at 4:15pm - intimacy - by SCARRED (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, while my teacher was demonstrating how to use the ultrasound equipment, we all figured out that I'm pregnant. FML

#21245451
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50635) - you deserved it (9735)

On 08/25/2014 at 10:37pm - health - by whotouchedyou1 - United States (Texas)

Today, my sister felt guilty and told me about the changes she secretly made to my résumé months ago. She'd put "doing your mom" and "corporate espionage" as my hobbies, and "Justin Bieber's pussy waxer" as a previous job. No wonder I'm still unemployed. FML

#21244565
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39954) - you deserved it (7264)

On 08/24/2014 at 5:50pm - work - by fuck you, tasha (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, two children decided it would be fun to try to ding-dong-ditch me. I never answered the door as I saw them running away. They did it a couple of times before getting bored. That's when they decided it would be fun to come into my house instead. FML

#21240389
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40820) - you deserved it (4567)

On 08/18/2014 at 8:10am - kids - by I hate children - United Kingdom (Liverpool)

Today, to spice things up, my boyfriend suggested we wear disguises. Amused by the idea, I accepted. That's how I ended up having sex with Gandalf. FML

#21240323
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42513) - you deserved it (9340) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/18/2014 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Degueusement (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I tried skydiving for the first time. The professional I was attached to had a boner the whole way down. FML

#21237831
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50594) - you deserved it (4904)

On 08/14/2014 at 11:36pm - intimacy - by emmamrose7 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to my new gynecologist. He has an eye twitch, and every time he asks about my genitals, he winks at me. FML

#21237829
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39799) - you deserved it (3227)

On 08/14/2014 at 11:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)



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