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Today, my grandmother told me my favorite top had a permanent smell of BO, despite my constant deodorant use. I wear the top to work just about every shift. I now realize all the weird little comments my coworkers have made are actually hints to go take a shower. FML
I agree, your life sucks (1458) - you deserved it (4183)
On 05/25/2012 at 3:07am - work - by emliv12 - Australia (Victoria)
Today, the mailman delivered my new phone to my neighbour's house. This was okay, because he left a note in my mailbox informing me so. Now my crazy neighbour won't give me the package because, "*I* signed for it!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (4817) - you deserved it (295)
On 05/24/2012 at 3:30pm - misc - by Byebye - Netherlands (Groningen)
Today, I was eating lunch, and accidentally got ketchup on the sofa, so I hastily doused it with stain remover. The ketchup is now no longer there; however there is a larger stain in its place. I stained the sofa with stain remover. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4083) - you deserved it (793)
On 05/24/2012 at 3:23pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Sheffield)
Today, I had to take Viagra. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4025) - you deserved it (762)
On 05/24/2012 at 1:42am - intimacy - by aaah. (man) - Canada (Saskatchewan)
Today, I was to give a presentation to several of my company's senior employees. The moment I stood up, I accidentally let rip a monstrous fart that lasted a good two or three seconds. When I tried to utter an apology, I clammed up and let out a whiny grunt. They were not amused. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5154) - you deserved it (1051)
On 05/23/2012 at 4:38pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, I went all the way for the first time with my girlfriend. After I had finished, she asked me, "What just happened? Was that sex?" I wasn't sure either. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5081) - you deserved it (1005)
On 05/22/2012 at 1:05am - intimacy - by chchboy (man) - United States
Today, it was the first time I was going to fly first class. I ended up in the bathroom almost the whole flight with diarrhea. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5622) - you deserved it (424)
On 05/20/2012 at 6:21am - misc - by - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)
Today, I woke up early for an important team meeting I needed to attend. I washed, got changed, and sat down to eat breakfast... I then woke up again, an hour late and covered in cereal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5578) - you deserved it (977)
On 05/19/2012 at 4:03am - work - by themcdave - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)
Today, while at work, I managed to scrape open the inside of my nose with my fingernail, drawing blood in the process. I had to quickly up an explanation for my scream that didn't go: "Well, I was scouting for boogers..." FML
I agree, your life sucks (1438) - you deserved it (4811)
On 05/12/2012 at 6:09pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)
Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. Trying to be sexy, I told him what I was doing with my vibrator. I heard a loud bang, followed by him shouting, "Why don't you just fucking marry it, then?!" and then hanging up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6086) - you deserved it (1655)
On 05/11/2012 at 6:02pm - intimacy - by 504-A1 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I finally bought a car, after saving up for a year. My dealer had told me it was a good buy, so I snapped it up then and there. On the way home, the rear axle practically fell out of the car due to frame rot. My dealer wants to buy the car back at half the price. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2912) - you deserved it (6165)
On 05/07/2012 at 4:40pm - money - by exalia (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, I got an inconvenient erection while at my girlfriends house, so I tried to think of something stupid to get rid of it. I tried thinking of Pokémon, which actually made me harder. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5004) - you deserved it (2058)
On 05/07/2012 at 4:38pm - intimacy - by me (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I asked my dad why there were no photos of me on the wall. He replied, "Every time you disappoint us we burn one." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8175) - you deserved it (1240)
On 05/07/2012 at 5:51am - misc - by N (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)
Today, while showering with my boyfriend, he asked if something was weird about his penis. Naturally, I looked closer. As soon as I did, he sprayed my face with urine. This is only the beginning; we just moved in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10438) - you deserved it (1965)
On 05/07/2012 at 5:42am - intimacy - by quirrus (woman) - United States
Today, I had to convince my 28-year-old boyfriend to take down his booger wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5425) - you deserved it (1259)
On 05/06/2012 at 10:03pm - misc - by fock (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
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