Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Online | Search for a member
About naxeeb : I've never been good at these self-description thingies, so if you'd like to know something, feel free to message me.
No, I don't have kik, or any of that stuff, but if you want, you can follow me on Instagram @naxeeb :]
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
What'cha looking at?
You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.
Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up . It was the best orgasm I'd ever had . The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy . It was about bacon . FML
Today... a friend an I went to Gamestop to pick up a game he wanted. I ended up buying a 17+ game... an I was prepared to show my license... but he stopped me an said... "I know you're 18". He then said... "Man... I've pretty much watched u grow up in this store." A game salesman watched me grow up. FML
Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend. His dog, Baxter, has a bad farting problem. I decidd it would be okay to let a silent fart out and blame the dog. Baxter was outside when I blamd him. FML
yesterday wile walking troug te alls of ma ig scool, me an ma boyfriend sared a quick kiss. A young teacer walks by an tells us to stop due to Personal Display of Affection rules at our scool. Se ten looks at ma boyfriend an tells im e could do so muc better. FML
Today , mah grlfriend and looool I were watching TV. She starts to undo mah belt buckle , unzips mah fly and then takes mah pants off. Right as I'm starting to get really excited , she says to me , ( Just joking. ) FML
Today, I went on a date wit a guy for te first time . We went to Starbucks and got coffee . We talked for aile, and we were joking and aving a good time . Suddenly, e putted is and on my stomac and said, "Soon, tis will be plump wit my seed." FML
Today, I was getting sick of listening to the guy in the next room over getting nasty with some girl, so I calld my girlfriend to see if she wantd to go get some food . Then I heard her phone ring . Through the wall . FML
Today, tis girl and I were cilling in ma apartment and tings got eated up and we started making out . One ting lead to anoter and te next ting I knew se was giving me ead . I was getting ready to busten se stopped, looked up into ma eyes and said "Do u believe in Jesus?" real FML
Today, my parents were out so I invited my girlfriend over. It was the afternoon, and things started to heat up. We were having sex, and I was about to looool finish. Then I looked through the window, to see a construction worker (who was fixing the house next to mine) giving me a thumbs up. He's her dad. FML
Today, I awoke to the sound looool of my dad knocking on my dorm room door fir a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks fir last night", and leaves. FML
Today, I was on a cruise and fell asleep next to the pool!! I had an intense dream that I had fallen off into the ocean!! I rolled off my sun chair into the water and woke up screaming uncontrollably, I thought I was in the ocean!! I was in the kiddy pool!! real FML
Taday I told mah boyfriend that I'd be going on a trip to Europe. I assured him that I would never cheat on him with any european guys. He replied with, ( Why would I be worried? You're not very pretty. ) mega FML
Friday 27 March 2015