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natewilton

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natewilton

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 198
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About natewilton : I am hoping to be a famous rapper like Eminem. This is my first ever song!

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natewilton's favorite FMLs

Today, I was walking by the side of the interstate because my car broke down. A nice young man stopped and asked if I was tired of walking. I said yes, to which he replied, "Try jogging asshole" then laughed and drove off. It was raining balls. FML

#20553491
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37058) - you deserved it (3330)

On 03/21/2013 at 9:31am - misc - by WetWalking - United States (Texas)

Today, for the sixth time in a row, I was driving my kid to school and he made me late for work. Why? He was whacking off instead of getting ready. FML

#20551973
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43719) - you deserved it (6093)

On 03/20/2013 at 7:07am - intimacy - by Why son, why? (man) - United States

Today, at a science-fiction convention, a woman came up to me and told me that my white face paint was a mess, my contacts looked cheap, and my costume was an all-round failure. I wasn't wearing a costume, I'm an albino. FML

#20551525
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44670) - you deserved it (2645)

On 03/19/2013 at 10:16pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while walking my dog at the park, I spotted my crush and said "Hi!" By not paying attention where I was going, I tripped and fell down. My dog started humping me. FML

#20544356
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38928) - you deserved it (5675)

On 03/15/2013 at 1:44am - misc - by fmlman - United States (Wyoming)

Today, my boyfriend, whom I haven't heard from in a whole month, turned up at my door because it was apparently "steak and blowjob day." FML

#20543142
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45461) - you deserved it (7964)

On 03/14/2013 at 5:02am - intimacy - by howaboutno (woman) - United States

Today, I dislocated my jaw while giving my boyfriend a blowjob. FML

#18051286
361 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41446) - you deserved it (19124)

On 10/23/2011 at 1:45am - intimacy - by canucks_chick - Canada

Today, my eleven year old sister came in, and bitched to me and my boyfriend about how she was going to tell my mom about the used condom she found. My boyfriend punched her in the face. FML

#18022495
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51832) - you deserved it (16554)

On 10/19/2011 at 10:37am - intimacy - by lolilovemyboyfriend (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I woke up after having a wet dream about Marge Simpson. I really need to get laid. FML

#17960202
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33665) - you deserved it (8205)

On 10/11/2011 at 3:06pm - intimacy - by margelover (man) - Denmark (Nordjylland)

Today, I was using the toilet and decided to check out some FMLs. One made me laugh out loud as my room-mate was passing by the bathroom. He now tells everyone my penis is so small it makes even me laugh every time I see it. FML

#17919622
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38805) - you deserved it (10002)

On 10/06/2011 at 12:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I realized that due to my anti-depressants, I can no longer orgasm. At. All. Which depresses me more. FML

#17861962
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36914) - you deserved it (4416)

On 09/29/2011 at 5:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was taking a dump and I pushed so hard that I got light headed and passed out on the floor. FML

#16168525
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36063) - you deserved it (12787)

On 05/14/2011 at 6:43am - health - by BrownDump - United States

Today, my daughter asked for a dollar to buy ice cream from the ice cream truck while I was on my computer working. Out of my wallet she took a fifty dollar bill. The ice cream man got a big tip before driving off. FML

#12935900
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25823) - you deserved it (14507)

On 09/06/2010 at 4:26pm - kids - by BrokebyKids - United States (New York)

Today, fifteen minutes after dinner was served, my blind date says "It's good that you're smart. Not to be rude, but most girls aren't. I mean, at some point, I'm going to pull my dick out of your mouth and then it's good if you have something interesting to say." Check please. FML

#9643258
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41213) - you deserved it (7596)

On 04/05/2010 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Hate2Date (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I saw myself in a 'girls gone wild' ad with another girl. So did my mom. FML

#2987164
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24498) - you deserved it (109851)

On 06/18/2009 at 3:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was on the phone with my best friend who lives out of town. He was strangely quiet. Later that day I asked him why he didn't talk much. He admitted he was jacking off to the sound of my voice. FML

#2975022
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51616) - you deserved it (4396)

On 06/17/2009 at 7:27pm - intimacy - by automaticfail_00 (woman) - United States (California)



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