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natewilson's FML badges
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natewilson's favorite FMLs
by Chouse / 09/06/2012 at 9:56pm / Canada (Alberta) / Kids
Today, I realized that my boyfriend really does have a problem with my upper-lip hair. I woke up this morning to him ripping a wax strip off of my face. All he could say after I stopped shrieking was that he had hoped it wouldn't wake me up. FML
by WaxOnWaxOff / 09/06/2012 at 5:50pm / United States (Colorado) / Love
Today, while getting pretty intimate with my newlywed wife in the car, a cop turned his lights on. As he was walking up, I was trying to get my pants back on but they wouldn't fit over my knees. The cop just laughed and walked away. Turns out my wife had my pants on and I was trying to put hers on. FML
by Anonymous / 08/29/2012 at 5:37pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend texted me, saying, "I'm running a bath. Wanna come over and learn about water displacement?" I excitedly drove over, thinking he wanted to have some fun. No, he really did want to teach me about water displacement. FML
by Anonymous / 08/29/2012 at 12:38pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy
by AmyLeigh / 08/26/2012 at 12:18am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
by chunkymonkey / 08/24/2012 at 9:53am / United States / Intimacy
by ihateveganism / 08/22/2012 at 12:19am / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy
Today, I realized why it's not a good idea to sleep with your boyfriend when he still lives with his mom. She may walk in, make you get dressed, and demand what you have to say for yourself. Trust me, "Your son is good at sex" is not the right answer. FML
by shelby124 / 08/15/2012 at 12:31pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
Today, I had a chat with my husband, and I convinced him to try being more spontaneous to spice up our sex life. This evening, he burst into our bedroom with an eyepatch on, and "seductively" growled, "I'm gonna slay your pussy, wench." FML
by Anonymous / 08/11/2012 at 6:22pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy
Today, I was debating with my now ex-boyfriend over the ethics of using torture in interrogations of suspected criminals. It took just ten minutes before he freely admitted that he'd have no problem "torturing the shit" out of me if he even suspected I was seeing another man. FML
by what the actual fuck / 08/11/2012 at 12:38pm / United States (Washington) / Love
by marquez_jasmine / 07/21/2012 at 11:08am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by It was the 11 year old / 07/21/2012 at 4:00am / United States (Texas) / Kids
by cortanaisahobot / 07/19/2012 at 4:29pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, I spoke to my hormonal pregnant wife about baby names. I told her I liked the name "Tabitha", and she went into a full rage about how all letters have textures, colours and emotions and how T is an evil letter. Apparently it's orange, plastic, and a needle trying to stab her eyes out. FML
by LNamesOnly / 07/09/2012 at 3:31am / Australia / Kids
- Today, I got the sex talk from my dad. It wouldn't have been so bad if he hadn't said "It's not the… Today, after an amazing sex session, my boyfriend rolls over and stares lovingly into my eyes, puts… Today, I realized just how lonely I am when I tried to time my ejaculation to happen right as the…