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natewilson

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natewilson
  • Town/Country : LA, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 589
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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natewilson's favorite FMLs

Today, during my uncle's funeral, my four year old loudly asked, "Where's all the dead people?" FML

#20061073
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13614) - you deserved it (1436)

On 09/06/2012 at 9:56pm - kids - by Chouse - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I realized that my boyfriend really does have a problem with my upper-lip hair. I woke up this morning to him ripping a wax strip off of my face. All he could say after I stopped shrieking was that he had hoped it wouldn't wake me up. FML

#20060710
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17735) - you deserved it (8138)

On 09/06/2012 at 5:50pm - love - by WaxOnWaxOff - United States (Colorado)

Today, I finally confronted my boyfriend and asked him if he was cheating on me. He got flustered and said, "Technically, I'm cheating with you, not on you." FML

#20049344
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29232) - you deserved it (2359)

On 08/30/2012 at 11:24am - love - by nice one (woman) -

Today, while getting pretty intimate with my newlywed wife in the car, a cop turned his lights on. As he was walking up, I was trying to get my pants back on but they wouldn't fit over my knees. The cop just laughed and walked away. Turns out my wife had my pants on and I was trying to put hers on. FML

#20048187
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21184) - you deserved it (4847)

On 08/29/2012 at 5:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend texted me, saying, "I'm running a bath. Wanna come over and learn about water displacement?" I excitedly drove over, thinking he wanted to have some fun. No, he really did want to teach me about water displacement. FML

#20047830
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29420) - you deserved it (5864)

On 08/29/2012 at 12:38pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I took my puppy for a walk around town. I had to stop and explain to several people that yes, his head was purple because my little sister wanted to make him look like a Na'vi from Avatar. FML

#20041954
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15048) - you deserved it (1861)

On 08/26/2012 at 12:18am - misc - by AmyLeigh - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend actually held onto my love handles while we were having sex. He said they "made it easier." FML

#20039086
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19552) - you deserved it (8507)

On 08/24/2012 at 9:53am - intimacy - by chunkymonkey (woman) - United States

Today, my vegan girlfriend refused to give me a blowjob because, apparently, blowjobs aren't vegan. FML

#20034900
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26476) - you deserved it (6476)

On 08/22/2012 at 12:19am - intimacy - by ihateveganism (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I realized why it's not a good idea to sleep with your boyfriend when he still lives with his mom. She may walk in, make you get dressed, and demand what you have to say for yourself. Trust me, "Your son is good at sex" is not the right answer. FML

#20022504
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14748) - you deserved it (31692)

On 08/15/2012 at 12:31pm - intimacy - by shelby124 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had a chat with my husband, and I convinced him to try being more spontaneous to spice up our sex life. This evening, he burst into our bedroom with an eyepatch on, and "seductively" growled, "I'm gonna slay your pussy, wench." FML

#20015589
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13813) - you deserved it (37118)

On 08/11/2012 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was debating with my now ex-boyfriend over the ethics of using torture in interrogations of suspected criminals. It took just ten minutes before he freely admitted that he'd have no problem "torturing the shit" out of me if he even suspected I was seeing another man. FML

#20015148
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18363) - you deserved it (3236)

On 08/11/2012 at 12:38pm - love - by what the actual fuck (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, after feeling a little down about myself and looking for comfort from my boyfriend, he told me that my stretch marks make me look like a tiger. FML

#19967634
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19890) - you deserved it (3002)

On 07/21/2012 at 11:08am - love - by marquez_jasmine - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I overheard my 11-year-old son giving my 8-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML

#19967014
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18676) - you deserved it (3131)

On 07/21/2012 at 4:00am - kids - by It was the 11 year old - United States (Texas)

Today, I told my boyfriend I wanted to spice up our sex life. He suggested incorporating bacon. He was serious. FML

#19959638
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18312) - you deserved it (4030)

On 07/19/2012 at 4:29pm - intimacy - by cortanaisahobot - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I spoke to my hormonal pregnant wife about baby names. I told her I liked the name "Tabitha", and she went into a full rage about how all letters have textures, colours and emotions and how T is an evil letter. Apparently it's orange, plastic, and a needle trying to stab her eyes out. FML

#19913255
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21383) - you deserved it (3000)

On 07/09/2012 at 3:31am - kids - by LNamesOnly (man) - Australia



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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

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