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Today, my boyfriend got so happy when he thought he'd finally given me an orgasm. I was covering an urge to sneeze. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5140) - you deserved it (810)
On 05/14/2012 at 1:27am - intimacy - by sneezeattack (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I walked in on my daughter attempting to iron her pants with a hair straightener. She's 17. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5610) - you deserved it (1511)
On 05/08/2012 at 2:08am - kids - by SomePeoplesKids - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I'm cheering myself up about being newly single by having a sleepover with my best friends. Their boyfriends have all decided to sleep over as well though, so I'm currently alone in a corridor with nothing but the sound of all my friends having loud sex to keep me company. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8193) - you deserved it (857)
On 05/07/2012 at 8:25pm - intimacy - by coffeeshopgirl (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I asked my dad why there were no photos of me on the wall. He replied, "Every time you disappoint us we burn one." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8175) - you deserved it (1240)
On 05/07/2012 at 5:51am - misc - by N (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)
Today, I was at the gym trying to impress a hot girl, so I put an extra 30 pounds on the bar, I lowered, pushed... and pooped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3300) - you deserved it (10704)
On 05/04/2012 at 8:49am - health - by authorsubmit - United States
Today, I got into an argument with my mother, when she snapped and called me a son of a bitch. I said that made no sense, because I'm a girl, and it'd only really confirm that she's a bitch. She then grounded me for insulting her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6906) - you deserved it (2086)
On 04/25/2012 at 4:06pm - kids - by KC (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)
Today, I accidentally told my mom to ejaculate the flash drive from the PC. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3782) - you deserved it (5093)
Today, while in bed with my fiancée, I asked her to take off her pants so we could get it on. She said, "No, I don't feel like squeezing into them again." I was cockblocked by a pair of jeans. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7514) - you deserved it (1240)
On 02/02/2012 at 4:31am - intimacy - by DieTrying - United States (California)
Today, my husband bleached his hair so, "our future kids will have blond hair too." I'm already married to this guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9779) - you deserved it (2074)
On 01/25/2012 at 1:23am - misc - by dragonmirado (woman) - China
Today, while helping my father build a shelf, I suggested that we should probably use the instruction manual. He suggested I should probably shut the fuck up and do it his way. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20467) - you deserved it (10135)
On 01/07/2012 at 7:12pm - misc - by Jman6295 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I accidentally called my teacher "Babe". FML
I agree, your life sucks (21965) - you deserved it (8907)
On 01/07/2012 at 9:12am - misc - by randomgirl - United Kingdom (London)
Today, after explaining to my two year old that we were going bra shopping, he decided to announce to the entire bank that we were going to buy Mommy some boobies. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12643) - you deserved it (15407)
On 12/20/2011 at 1:59pm - kids - by imamomma - United States
Today, I got my first driving lesson from my dad. We traded seats, I started the car and his entire lesson was, "Go." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17140) - you deserved it (2492)
On 12/10/2011 at 11:45am - misc - by Maggie (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)
Today, I drove into the parking lot at work, and discovered too late that there were patches of ice everywhere. As I turned to enter my usual spot, I lost control of the vehicle, and despite my pleas, praying, and profanity, it glided straight into my boss' car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21724) - you deserved it (2603)
On 12/09/2011 at 3:14pm - work - by charliebravo77 (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I got kicked in the crotch by a horse in my backyard. I don't own a horse. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10596) - you deserved it (963)
On 12/06/2011 at 11:54am - animals - by Rash (woman) - United States (New York)
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