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nate121

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nate121
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  • Number of visits : 84
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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nate121's favorite FMLs

Today, I was staying at a seedy apartment. A group of drunken idiots next door decided it would be fun to run into the wall simultaneously. They broke through the rotted wall and ran me over. FML

#20982547
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39046) - you deserved it (2834)

On 12/06/2013 at 4:36am - misc - by unlucky neighbors - China (Shanghai)

Today, I set up a motion-activated sprinkler to drench the neighborhood kids who have been ding dong ditching me for years. Because they cannot get close enough to ring the doorbell, they decided to start egging me instead. FML

#20979023
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39190) - you deserved it (5786)

On 12/03/2013 at 1:09am - misc - by Kyle - United States (Washington)

Today, I forgot I left my tampons in a grocery bag packed with food that I put into the fridge. I realized two hours later while frantically looking for a tampon. I'm still cold down there. FML

#20966555
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37620) - you deserved it (10580)

On 11/22/2013 at 1:53am - misc - by InsertPopcicle (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try flavored condoms. I guess I enjoyed them a little too much; I almost choked half to death on a strawberry cockcicle. FML

#20961988
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38246) - you deserved it (14846)

On 11/18/2013 at 10:26am - intimacy - by flavored (woman) - United States

Today, in the small hours of the morning, my roommate's boyfriend kicked his foot through the thin wall separating our bedrooms during sex. They didn't even stop. FML

#20956290
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43799) - you deserved it (3388)

On 11/13/2013 at 1:08pm - intimacy - by BreakingTheMood (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, I tried Ambien for the first time. I now have to apologize to most of my exes for excessively rambling emails about getting together for some naked Twister. FML

#20929399
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28764) - you deserved it (9646)

On 10/21/2013 at 8:12pm - health - by OutOfMyMind (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up with a raging hangover. I soon checked my phone, only to find that I'd drunkenly sent nude pictures to several friends' numbers, as well as to my own. I'd then replied to my own message, saying that I'm not gay and telling myself to fuck off. FML

#20925183
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25770) - you deserved it (37136)

On 10/18/2013 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, we went boating with friends. For some reason the bottom of our tube deflated, causing me to be bounced roughly up and down on the water. As a result, I had the most intense orgasm of my entire life, while sitting 2 inches away from my dad's friend. He definitely noticed. FML

#20862305
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51712) - you deserved it (5348)

On 08/31/2013 at 9:21pm - intimacy - by SplishSplash (woman) - United States

Today, I had a group presentation. I kept zipping my jacket up and down nervously. As I waited for my turn, I realized a bunch of classmates staring at me. I forgot that in the morning rush, I only put on a jacket. I only had a bra on underneath. FML

Today, I was at Basic Training for the Army when I got a package in the mail from my friends back home. You are required to open your packages in front of your drill sergeants and peers at Basic. When I opened it, it was a dildo. FML

#20818422
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57598) - you deserved it (5667)

On 08/03/2013 at 9:01am - misc - by zackeryburch - United States (California)

Today, because I refused to shave off what my wife calls my "pedo 'stache", she painted "Free Candy" on the side of my van. FML

#20807393
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37982) - you deserved it (25537)

On 07/28/2013 at 12:59am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my friends took my work laptop and changed the sounds. Now, whenever I remove a USB device, a woman's voice screams "Put it back!" and when I insert a USB device, it says "Oh, you need to push it in harder!" I don't know how to change it back. FML

#20793994
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52495) - you deserved it (6066)

On 07/20/2013 at 11:45am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I tried acid for the first time while camping with my best friend. A drunk driver smashed into my car, leaving it totaled. I had to explain the situation to a cop all while thinking my car was bleeding green ooze. FML

#20759193
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23377) - you deserved it (61161)

On 07/02/2013 at 1:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnomes in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras, which I thought had deterred the idiot, until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnomes on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. FML

#20742609
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53836) - you deserved it (3197)

On 06/23/2013 at 1:02pm - misc - by ilivealoneandwhatthefuck (man) - Guam

Today, I was rear ended at McDonald's by the same driver who rear ended me at the same McDonald's last week. FML

#20607123
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51339) - you deserved it (7336)

On 04/20/2013 at 9:43am - misc - by dentedmercedes - United States (Michigan)



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