About narutofan001 : All you need to know about me is that there is nothing to know.
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Today, I was peeing in the shower when my girlfriend suddenly pulled open the shower curtain in an attempt to scare me. Startled, I quickly spun around and peed all over her dress. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25305) - you deserved it (48594)
On 06/14/2009 at 8:46am - misc - by locksmack (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I went out with a group of friends. I hadn't gone out in a few months since my fiancé left me. They promised me there wouldn't be drinking and would just be video game stuff. By 10pm, everyone was wasted, I got thrown up on and I had to walk home fifteen blocks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33923) - you deserved it (3809)
On 06/14/2009 at 12:19am - misc - by driezal (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my friends and I were walking past a bar. There were a few cute guys "rating" every girl that walked by with number cards. My friend, who is a guy, got an 8. I got a 2. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33343) - you deserved it (2792)
On 06/14/2009 at 12:05am - misc - by number2 - United States (California)
Today, was my senior prom. I've had a crush on my date for months, but after many attempts at grinding with him and sexy seduction, he rejected me saying he was a good Catholic boy. I later found out that not only is he in touch with his religion, but intimately in touch with other boys. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37760) - you deserved it (4606)
On 06/13/2009 at 11:06pm - intimacy - by failatboys (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was so excited to play the video game I just bought, I decided to read the manual in the game. I went over the seizure warning and thought to myself, who the hell gets a seizure from playing a video game? Apparently I do. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45345) - you deserved it (5986)
On 06/13/2009 at 8:47pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my sister and I got fitted for bridesmaid's dresses. It was pretty sheer material, so I took off my bright pink thong and left it on the changing room hanger. As I was looking at myself in the mirror, a woman came out of the room holding my thong. She had tried it on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36867) - you deserved it (7223)
On 06/13/2009 at 8:43pm - misc - by anonymous1 - United States (California)
Today, I found out the identity of the pervert who's been staring at me through my bedroom window in the late hours of the night. My parents and I decided to set out a trap for 'him' instead of reporting to our local cop. Turns out, we caught my 37 year-old neighbor in the act. He's the cop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38209) - you deserved it (1594)
On 06/13/2009 at 6:46pm - misc - by Meg (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was cleaning out my fiancé's room while he was away so we could move into our new home. Not only did I find a few gay nudie mags, but also some interesting love letters from a nice man named Pablo. Apparently I need to do a lot more than cleaning his room to excite him. Like grow a penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53970) - you deserved it (2999)
On 06/12/2009 at 8:10pm - love - by vickyxanne (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I wanted to use my gift card for a liquor store. I went to pay the cashier, who said he needed to see my license. I gave it to him as well as my gift card. After paying, he asked me if I wanted him to cut it up, since the card was now worth $0. I said yes. He cut the wrong card. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46172) - you deserved it (3002)
On 06/12/2009 at 7:35pm - misc - by bryans_fresh (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, while eating with my kids at McDonalds, my son put his hand up and wanted me to give him a "high five." I went to give him a five, but he moved his hand at the last second and I ended up slapping him in the face. Now everyone there thinks I'm a child-beater. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45706) - you deserved it (4832)
On 06/12/2009 at 12:49am - kids - by downlowtooslow (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, my friends decided it would be funny to scare me by tilting the portable street toilets while I was taking a dump in one of them. One of my friends accidentally rocked it too hard and it fell on the floor. They wouldn't even let me sit in the car after because I had shit all over me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51687) - you deserved it (2841)
On 06/12/2009 at 12:44am - misc - by dontevenassk (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my car was in the shop so I borrowed my wife's VW Beetle convertible. It's really embarrassing because it's a girlie car and it's full of little stuffed animals. At a stop light a man asked me if I'd like to borrow one of his testicles because "every man should have at least one." FML
I agree, your life sucks (81086) - you deserved it (15203)
On 06/11/2009 at 8:23pm - misc - by NoBalls (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I got hypnotized at my school's variety show. Apparently, when asked to do something I enjoy doing, I began to violently hump the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (73158) - you deserved it (15319)
On 06/08/2009 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by OhGeez (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)
Today, I got prostate examination for the first time. Now I can't decide what's worse, the fact that I got a boner when the doc inserted his finger, or the fact that my wife told the story to pretty much everybody we know. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59555) - you deserved it (5646)
On 06/08/2009 at 9:48am - intimacy - by prostate (man) - United States (California)
Today, I witnessed a horrible car accident and was interviewed by the local news. During the interview I said, "It was terrible. It was like watching a silent movie... but there was sound!" The interview has been aired 6 times. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25490) - you deserved it (58777)
On 06/04/2009 at 9:07pm - misc - by LadyChristina25 - United States (Rhode Island)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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