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narkill

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narkill

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 866
  • Number of comments : 83
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About narkill : I'm here to party hard. Watsup.

People need to learn to sit back, relax and look at the world around them as it really is. Everything is not always how it seems, fortunately enough.

narkill's page activity

Visits<b>AE101</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 11:12pm<b>singer0421</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 11:02pm<b>Sinister16</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 11:19am<b>thefmlman2011</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 11:22pm<b>The3BodyProblem</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 2:38pm<b>ShinyMeatBicycle</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 2:06pm<b>BrandyFaye</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 4:29am<b>Journiexo</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 5:29am<b>Sawsaiuge</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 1:24am<b>Anya_5</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 6:09pm<b>LaurenAshleigh97</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 9:03am<b>quinny_1024</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 8:29am<b>alexishbu</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 12:15am<b>thewestlund</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 12:30am<b>awkwardology</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 11:17am<b>cwrocker</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 7:27pm<b>colby6666</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 3:03pm<b>GoldFishPony</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 6:25pm

narkill's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of narkill's badges

narkill's favorite FMLs

Today, I accidentally said the wrong name during sex. That name just happened to be "Sarah", which is both my ex-girlfriend's name and my wife's sister's name. When she asked me which one I meant, I panicked and said, "Both." FML

#21140956
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32605) - you deserved it (52247)

On 05/15/2014 at 6:57pm - intimacy - by FLIPmcCOOL - Ireland (Cork)

Today, I went to a veterans' reunion party with my grandpa. While there, a guy started yelling at me for having an unapproved haircut. It was my grandpa's old drill sergeant, and he thought I was in the army too. Everyone just smirked as he forced me to drop and do push-ups. FML

#21110214
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33766) - you deserved it (5220)

On 04/11/2014 at 10:51am - misc - by Gomer (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my neighbor called the police for the seventh time because he's convinced I'm a vampire. He's also gotten in the habit of leaving garlic cloves in my yard. My parents come next week. FML

#21095586
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37165) - you deserved it (2848)

On 03/24/2014 at 9:52pm - misc - by Vampprobs - United States (Michigan)

Today, my drunken self became a vaguely racist poet. I am now the author of a four-page poem entitled "Chocolate Men". FML

#21094789
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30235) - you deserved it (16185)

On 03/23/2014 at 11:40pm - misc - by chocochoco - United States (New York)

Today, I followed my wife out, since she's been acting strangely lately and I was suspicious. She met up with a guy at a restaurant, who she later claimed was her brother. Either she's cheating on me, or it's tradition in her family to make out and grope each other at the end of meals. FML

#21087493
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56889) - you deserved it (4380)

On 03/15/2014 at 5:48pm - love - by broken vows (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I met my mom's new business partner for the first time. I shook his hand, and introduced myself as "Lisa's daughter". I'm a guy. FML

#21085066
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34448) - you deserved it (11738)

On 03/12/2014 at 6:23pm - work - by CurtisWogan (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was waiting at the bus stop and noticed a girl that I played netball with. I ran across the road to meet her and she ran across the car park to meet me. We hugged and looked at each other slowly backing away as we both realised that we didn't know each other. FML

#21083446
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46145) - you deserved it (6773)

On 03/10/2014 at 8:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, while I was waiting at a red light, a drunk guy limped in front of my car, unzipped, and started pissing on my windshield. FML

#21080535
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40556) - you deserved it (3236)

On 03/07/2014 at 1:51pm - misc - by Jehovah God (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I achieved a personal goal by completing a half-marathon for charity, despite being overweight and unfit before training. When I finished I cried, not because I was proud of myself, but because I ran the last 2 miles while being followed by kids on bicycles calling me a "fat cunt". FML

#21078597
325 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65038) - you deserved it (5121)

On 03/05/2014 at 7:33am - health - by rolypoly (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I tried to kill a spider by throwing a shoe at it. All it did was slice the spider's egg sac open, releasing all its babies. FML

#21076106
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52388) - you deserved it (13345)

On 03/02/2014 at 5:38pm - animals - by Anonytard - Canada (Ontario)

Today, and for the past 38 weeks of my pregnancy, my husband decided to amuse himself by following me around, making whale noises. FML

#21074731
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48987) - you deserved it (5601)

On 03/01/2014 at 5:42am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend thought it'd be cute to put his penis through a doughnut and try to make me eat it off. FML

#21072191
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46906) - you deserved it (9234)

On 02/26/2014 at 1:53pm - intimacy - by lovely (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a guy from work that I barely know gave me sunflowers for my birthday. He told me, "You mentioned they were your favorite." I mentioned it to my family at home a few days ago. FML

#21069947
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45370) - you deserved it (4063)

On 02/23/2014 at 11:18pm - love - by You Are My Sunshine (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had satanic gastric distress. Attempting to make light of this fact, and, being incredibly bored and seemingly alone at work, I managed to fart the intro to "Smoke on the Water" perfectly. Somebody clapped. FML



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