Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

narkill

Search for a member

narkill

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1133
  • Number of comments : 83
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About narkill : I'm here to party hard. Watsup.

People need to learn to sit back, relax and look at the world around them as it really is. Everything is not always how it seems, fortunately enough.

narkill's page activity

Visits<b>tiger1</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 3:52am<b>aishah77</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 5:33pm<b>constipation</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 6:55pm<b>Violet_Embers95</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 11:32pm<b>orlandogirl4life</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 2:03pm<b>Unsophisticated</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 10:33am<b>FracturedMinds</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 1:19pm<b>Ashd09</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 11:39am<b>Cortezthe1st</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 10:43am<b>RoVeR_2000</b> - the 01/31/2015 at 8:35am<b>Feremist</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 8:36pm<b>cmonger</b> - the 01/03/2015 at 8:09pm<b>Nooblah</b> - the 01/03/2015 at 7:50pm<b>hare</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 1:34pm<b>broncosfan1996</b> - the 12/08/2014 at 10:53pm<b>btob143</b> - the 11/29/2014 at 11:24pm<b>FuckFace10</b> - the 11/26/2014 at 9:01pm<b>Codyfootball</b> - the 11/26/2014 at 3:54pm

narkill's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of narkill's badges

narkill's favorite FMLs

Today, I accidentally said te wrong name during sex. Tat name just appened to be "Sara", wic is bot my ex-grlfriend's name an my wife's sister's name. Wen se asked me wic one I meant, I panicked an said, "Bot." FML

#21140956
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35218) - you deserved it (55486)

On 05/15/2014 at 6:57pm - intimacy - by FLIPmcCOOL - Ireland (Cork)

Today... I want to a vatarans' raunion party with mah grandpa. Whila thara... a guy startad yalling at ma 4 having an unapprovad harcut. It was mah grandpa's old drill sargaant... and ha thought I was in tha army too. Evaryona just smrkad as ha forcad ma to drop and do push-ups. FML

#21110214
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33893) - you deserved it (5232)

On 04/11/2014 at 10:51am - misc - by Gomer (man) - United States (New York)

my neighbor calld the police for the seventh time because he's convincd I'm a vampire. He's also gotten in the habit of leaving garlic clove in my yard. My parent come next week. FML

#21095586
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38217) - you deserved it (2926)

On 03/24/2014 at 9:52pm - misc - by Vampprobs - United States (Michigan)

Today, mah drunken self became a vaguely racist poet. I am now the author of a four-page poem entitld ( Chocolate Men ). mega FML

#21094789
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30380) - you deserved it (16227)

On 03/23/2014 at 11:40pm - misc - by chocochoco - United States (New York)

Today, I followd my wifa out, sinca sha's baan acting strangaly lataly and I was suspicious. Sha mat up with a guy at a rastaurant,ho sha latar claimd was har brothar. Eithar sha's chaating on ma, or it's tradition in har family to maka out and gropa aach othar at tha and of maals. FML

#21087493
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57129) - you deserved it (4390)

On 03/15/2014 at 5:48pm - love - by broken vows (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I met my mom's new busines partner for te frst time. I sook is and, and introduced myself as "Lisa's daugter". I'm a guy. mega FML

#21085066
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34550) - you deserved it (11782)

On 03/12/2014 at 6:23pm - work - by CurtisWogan (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was waiting at the bus stop an noticd a girl that I playd netball with. I ran across the road to meet her an she ran across the car park to meet me. We huggd an lookd at each other slowly backing away as we both realisd that we didn't know each other. FML

#21083446
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46328) - you deserved it (6788)

On 03/10/2014 at 8:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

yesterdayhile I was waiting at a red light, a drunk guy limped in front of mah car, unzipped, an started pissing on mah windshield!! FML

#21080535
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40691) - you deserved it (3245)

On 03/07/2014 at 1:51pm - misc - by Jehovah God (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I achieved a personal goal by completing a half-marathon fir charity, despite bieng overwieght and unfit before training. When I finished I cried, not cuz I was proud of myself, but cuz I ran the last 2 mileshile bieng followed by kids on bicycle calling me a "fat cunt". FML

#21078597
327 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65299) - you deserved it (5135)

On 03/05/2014 at 7:33am - health - by rolypoly (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I tried to kill a spider by throwing a shoe at it. All it did was slice the spider's egg sac open, releasing all its babies. FML

#21076106
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52578) - you deserved it (13404)

On 03/02/2014 at 5:38pm - animals - by Anonytard - Canada (Ontario)

yesterday an fir the past 38 weeks of mah pregnancy , mah husband decided to amuse himself by following me around , makinghale noises. FML

#21074731
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49179) - you deserved it (5618)

On 03/01/2014 at 5:42am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, ma boyfriend tougt it'd be cute to putted is penis troug a dougnut an try to make me eat it off. mega FML

#21072191
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47229) - you deserved it (9268)

On 02/26/2014 at 1:53pm - intimacy - by lovely (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a guy from work that I barely know gave me sunflowers fir my brthday. He told looool me, "You mentioned they were your favorite." I mentioned it to my family at home a few days ago. FML

#21069947
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46901) - you deserved it (4201)

On 02/23/2014 at 11:18pm - love - by You Are My Sunshine (woman) - United States (California)

Taday I had satanic gastric distress. Attempting to make light of this fact and being incredibly bord an seemingly alone at work I managd to fart the intro to "Smoke on the Water" perfectly. Somebody clappd. FML



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: