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nanoushkidou

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nanoushkidou

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 September 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 63
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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nanoushkidou's favorite FMLs

Today, my religious friend and I ended up having wild sex in the back of his mom's minivan. We got interrupted by a priest knocking at our window. Well played God, well played. FML

#21444515
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28007) - you deserved it (7725)

On 07/20/2015 at 1:48pm - intimacy - by Marika - United States (California)

Today, I spent hours cooking a big dinner for my parents for the first time. I guess I made the steak too rare, because when my dad cut into it, he said "Christ! This thing's practically alive!" and said a skilled vet could probably bring the cow it was cut from back to life. FML

#21443824
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21931) - you deserved it (3564)

On 07/19/2015 at 1:05am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I took away my 8-year-old daughter's toy for throwing it too many times. She then said, "I need a beer." FML

#21440427
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22391) - you deserved it (5296)

On 07/12/2015 at 10:25am - kids - by brichard22 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I walked in on my roommate with her ass cheeks spread wide, and her friend ripping a strip of wax off of her while wearing a headlamp flashlight to see if she "got it all". FML

#21420563
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30546) - you deserved it (3326)

On 06/04/2015 at 3:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my 14 year old brother and 9 year old sister were fighting. My brother said "You suck!" to my sister, and she replied with "You swallow!" FML

Today, I got hit on by an attractive young doctor. After talking for a while we realized that we recognized each other but couldn't figure out how. Then he remembered. He was the one who'd delivered my 10 1/2 lb baby 7 months ago. I stood out because my vag tore worse than anything he'd ever seen. FML

Today, my drunk mom told me to apologize for being born. FML

#21352091
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35642) - you deserved it (2845)

On 02/08/2015 at 1:28pm - misc - by sorry :/ - United States (New Jersey)

Today, as I walked into McDonald's with my mom, she glanced at me and said, "Smells like your future." FML

#21323487
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30633) - you deserved it (3724)

On 12/24/2014 at 6:56pm - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today, I overheard my son mutter to himself, "If Hitler could do it to that many people, so could I..." Anyone recommend a good psychiatrist? FML

#21290608
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35172) - you deserved it (3429)

On 11/02/2014 at 3:57pm - kids - by failure (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was skating in the city when I slipped and fractured my arm. As I was lying in pain, a guy walked up to me, frisked my pocket and took my wallet. He then said: "It's nothing personal." FML

#21281599
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38816) - you deserved it (3249)

On 10/20/2014 at 4:50am - misc - by ColdStones (man) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, I walked into my house and saw it was flooded. I went upstairs to the bathroom to see the toilet overflowing and my boyfriend holding my dog over it so he could drink it. My boyfriend said he didn't know what else to do. FML

#21279204
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36310) - you deserved it (3797)

On 10/16/2014 at 4:53pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I took a girl on a date. Her and her imaginary friends. FML

#21008014
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43853) - you deserved it (4961)

On 12/28/2013 at 3:42am - love - by rokkstarrrVRV (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I asked my husband to try a little foreplay for once, instead of just rushing into sex. His idea of foreplay was to sweetly whisper that he was going to "penis" me so hard. That's the first time I've heard the word "penis" used as a verb, and hopefully the last. FML

#21007475
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49267) - you deserved it (6488)

On 12/27/2013 at 5:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was cleaning a pocketknife when I noticed a spider on my leg. My first reaction was to stab it. FML

#20974086
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42789) - you deserved it (44064)

On 11/28/2013 at 9:05pm - misc - by OuchImAMoron (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I sent my boyfriend a text asking him to come over a little later and have some "fun" with me. He texted back, "WTF babe? Breaking Bad's on tonight. You got a dildo, fucking use it." FML

#20900698
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65567) - you deserved it (26906)

On 09/29/2013 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by -___- (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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