Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

nancyschmancy

Search for a member

nancyschmancy

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 237
  • Number of comments : 131
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

nancyschmancy's page activity

Visits<b>SingingWolf</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 10:29am<b>tchatfield9413</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 9:49am<b>swick25</b> - the 03/18/2014 at 6:54pm<b>bummervacation</b> - the 03/12/2014 at 1:52am<b>Rababco</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 11:51pm<b>thedeadmen</b> - the 12/04/2013 at 12:58pm<b>k_gils</b> - the 07/19/2013 at 6:40pm<b>jillytc</b> - the 05/23/2013 at 9:15pm<b>kparra7</b> - the 05/23/2013 at 12:23pm<b>il0v3w33d</b> - the 12/18/2012 at 8:17am<b>AnxietySlave</b> - the 11/27/2012 at 6:10pm<b>ptoui</b> - the 10/15/2012 at 7:32am<b>Helldemon</b> - the 10/06/2012 at 12:12am<b>roundnproud</b> - the 05/11/2012 at 2:35pm

nancyschmancy's FML badges

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of nancyschmancy's badges

nancyschmancy's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked out of my apartment to see that someone had climbed onto the hood of my car and taken a shit on my windshield. I only moved in a couple of weeks ago. FML

#20189050
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20846) - you deserved it (1449)

On 12/03/2012 at 2:36am - misc - by poopsthegame - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my girlfriend decided it would be cute to leave a love letter in my car while I was at work. She left my lights on. I got a dead battery. FML

#20179747
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21668) - you deserved it (2183)

On 11/26/2012 at 1:59pm - love - by Blake Lawrence - United States (Utah)

Today, in a state of extreme boredom, I decided to dress my 6-month-old son in girl's clothes. As he sat in my lap in a frilly dress, and as I was placing a very pink and lacy bow on his head, my mother-in-law unexpectedly walked in. She now thinks I'm mentally unstable and should be in therapy. FML

Today, while at school, a bra fell out of my coat. After the initial shock, people started congratulating me on finally getting a girlfriend. I didn't have the heart to tell them it was my mom's. FML

#20175088
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23214) - you deserved it (3234)

On 11/23/2012 at 10:56am - misc - by Tymer (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my friends and I were playing truth or dare game. It was late and we were drunk, so they dared me to run naked into my neighbor's yard while yelling, "Help! The pixies took my penis!" I ran screaming right into their big family reunion. FML

#20172584
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7306) - you deserved it (32250)

On 11/21/2012 at 4:06pm - misc - by nekkidness (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I tried to motivate my 9-year-old sister to clean her room. She said she'd only agree if she could kill me. Thinking she was just kidding around, and not a total psychopath, I said sure. She ran to her room shouting, "Yes! I'm gonna use the big knife!" She's still cleaning now. FML

#20172481
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25002) - you deserved it (5502)

On 11/21/2012 at 2:34pm - kids - by anon - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, someone posted photos from a party I was at. On each photo I'm posing in with a girl, my hand is not touching her, but is hovering over her like some creepy weirdo loser. My Facebook nickname is now of course "Hover Hand." FML

#20171594
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7062) - you deserved it (18712)

On 11/20/2012 at 9:37pm - misc - by Hover Hand (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I'm in the hospital and it's been 44 hours since I've eaten anything. My doctors won't let me eat and my parents are sitting across the room, eating. FML

#20171321
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21518) - you deserved it (1409)

On 11/20/2012 at 6:25pm - health - by RayneSong - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I'm now about 15 pounds overweight. When I called him a hypocrite as he's over 40 pounds overweight, he said that his weight didn't matter because "it's the girl's job to look hot." FML

#20171204
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30958) - you deserved it (4622)

On 11/20/2012 at 4:57pm - health - by thinner than you (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I discovered that no matter how hot and exhausted you are, being blasted in the face with a high pressure hose is always more painful than refreshing. FML

#20165112
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14637) - you deserved it (9009)

On 11/16/2012 at 2:32am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after a year of living with my boyfriend at our new place, he told me that he wants to sell our house and live in a trailer, so he can be closer to his mom. FML

#20155172
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19931) - you deserved it (2139)

On 11/08/2012 at 4:22pm - misc - by Anonimo (woman) - Italy (Sardegna)

Today, my daughter called me telling me she had her twin girls. She named them Juli and Anne. Her name is Julianne. Her kids are going to fucking hate her. FML

#20141194
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30859) - you deserved it (3430)

On 10/31/2012 at 1:01am - kids - by poorkids (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while getting intimate with my girlfriend, she asked me to whisper her name. Apparently, her name is not Kate. FML

#20140315
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10346) - you deserved it (70095)

On 10/30/2012 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by you (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend, when things got a little frisky and we started making out. It was my first time French-kissing, and apparently he has a very sensitive gag reflex, because the moment my tongue went in, he started retching, and vomited moments later. FML

#20134512
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23585) - you deserved it (3229)

On 10/26/2012 at 5:59pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, my friend and I were walking home when we saw a patch of wet cement. Taking a page out of every single Disney movie ever made, we wrote our names in it. What Disney movies don't show is when the neighbors tattle on you and you have to pay $500 to get the cement redone. FML

#20132044
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8391) - you deserved it (28704)

On 10/24/2012 at 10:36pm - money - by onlyme (woman) - United States



Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML
  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you know any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: