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nancyschmancy's FML badges
100 kick ass comments
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
50 quality responses
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nancyschmancy's favorite FMLs
by poopsthegame / 12/03/2012 at 2:36am / United States (Hawaii) / Transportation
by Blake Lawrence / 11/26/2012 at 1:59pm / United States (Utah) / Love
Today, in a state of extreme boredom, I decided to dress my 6-month-old son in girl's clothes. As he sat in my lap in a frilly dress, and as I was placing a very pink and lacy bow on his head, my mother-in-law unexpectedly walked in. She now thinks I'm mentally unstable and should be in therapy. FML
by ekm86 / 11/26/2012 at 11:52am / United States (Oregon) / Kids
by Tymer / 11/23/2012 at 10:56am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
Today, my friends and I were playing truth or dare game. It was late and we were drunk, so they dared me to run naked into my neighbor's yard while yelling, "Help! The pixies took my penis!" I ran screaming right into their big family reunion. FML
by nekkidness / 11/21/2012 at 4:06pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
Today, I tried to motivate my 9-year-old sister to clean her room. She said she'd only agree if she could kill me. Thinking she was just kidding around, and not a total psychopath, I said sure. She ran to her room shouting, "Yes! I'm gonna use the big knife!" She's still cleaning now. FML
by anon / 11/21/2012 at 2:34pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Kids
Today, someone posted photos from a party I was at. On each photo I'm posing in with a girl, my hand is not touching her, but is hovering over her like some creepy weirdo loser. My Facebook nickname is now of course "Hover Hand." FML
by Hover Hand / 11/20/2012 at 9:37pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
by RayneSong / 11/20/2012 at 6:25pm / United States (Michigan) / Health
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I'm now about 15 pounds overweight. When I called him a hypocrite as he's over 40 pounds overweight, he said that his weight didn't matter because "it's the girl's job to look hot." FML
by thinner than you / 11/20/2012 at 4:57pm / United States (New Jersey) / Health
by Anonymous / 11/16/2012 at 2:32am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
by Anonimo / 11/08/2012 at 4:22pm / Italy (Sardegna) / Miscellaneous
by poorkids / 10/31/2012 at 1:01am / United States (Washington) / Kids
by you / 10/30/2012 at 3:46pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy
Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend, when things got a little frisky and we started making out. It was my first time French-kissing, and apparently he has a very sensitive gag reflex, because the moment my tongue went in, he started retching, and vomited moments later. FML
by Anonymous / 10/26/2012 at 5:59pm / Switzerland (Zurich) / Love
Today, my friend and I were walking home when we saw a patch of wet cement. Taking a page out of every single Disney movie ever made, we wrote our names in it. What Disney movies don't show is when the neighbors tattle on you and you have to pay $500 to get the cement redone. FML
by onlyme / 10/24/2012 at 10:36pm / United States / Money
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…
- Today, I’m on vacation in Tunisia. Having trouble with the heat at night, I tried sleeping outside… Today, I went to the Eiffel Tower with my boyfriend. We’d been talking about getting married for a… Today, my boyfriend wanted to show me that he listened to me yesterday: I said that I loved unusual…