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name_loading's favorite FMLs
by angelamegan21 / 05/28/2014 at 4:33pm / United States (Florida) / Health
by Anonymous / 05/26/2014 at 11:53am / United States (California) / Love
by shylahrc / 05/03/2014 at 7:51pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was taking the biggest shit of my life. When I worked the thing out, it hit the water with such force that I got a toilet water enema from the backwash. I was so freaked out that I screamed and fell off the seat, prompting my husband to rush in to see what was wrong. FML
by traumatized / 04/12/2014 at 2:07pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was treating a patient at the hospital where I'm a dentist. This particular gentleman was old and slightly deaf. After completing the procedure I gestured to the spitoon and asked him to spit. He got up, steadied himself, and spat straight in my face. FML
by Dr.Anonymous / 03/22/2014 at 7:56am / India (Maharashtra) / Work
Today, it was a really slow day at work. One thing lead to another, and soon enough we were all taking turns shoving each other across the office on a swivel chair. Our boss came in during my turn, and I got singled out for a verbal warning. Everyone else got off with a disapproving glare. FML
by FMLPLZ / 01/02/2014 at 9:52pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous
by smokecloud_ / 12/30/2013 at 4:38pm / United States (Ohio) / Love
Today, my mum and I were referred to as "ladies". I'm happy for her, since she always complains about looking masculine. However, I would still like to be called a gentleman, seeing as how I am one. FML
by FML / 12/21/2013 at 11:58am / United Kingdom (Glasgow City) / Miscellaneous
by this guy / 11/21/2013 at 12:27am / United States (California) / Love
by Anonymous / 11/19/2013 at 10:42pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by awkward / 11/06/2013 at 4:16pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
by Something I said? / 11/05/2013 at 10:26am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by fml / 09/03/2013 at 2:31am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
by bglenney / 08/15/2013 at 5:47am / United States (California) / Work
- Today, I was in the shower and I heard my boyfriend walk in. I struck my sexiest pose and when he… Today, I asked my boyfriend if he could finally go down on me. He said, "No, that's disgusting" and… Today, I was studying for one of my finals that I had later in the week but decided to take a break…