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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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nam3

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nam3
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 996
  • Number of comments : 68
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 17 posted

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nam3's favorite FMLs

Today, I am meeting my boyfriend's very conservative parents for the first time, so I decided to dress appropriately and curl my hair to match. In so doing, I accidentally touched the iron to my neck, and now I have a burn there that closely resembles a hickey. FML

#7876510 (166)

I agree, your life sucks (19272) - you deserved it (3029)

On 02/04/2010 at 1:28pm - love - by Minabee (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my headphones were broken, so I fixed them with super glue. Without thinking, I stuck them in my ear and listened to some music. When it came time to take them out, I couldn't. FML

#7644326 (197)

I agree, your life sucks (5353) - you deserved it (31688)

On 01/28/2010 at 3:25pm - misc - by Lance (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I ordered a Diet Coke with my meal from a fast food restaurant. Turns out, they didn't give me diet. My blood sugar spiked and I was sick for hours later. I'm a diabetic. FML

#7360453 (355)

I agree, your life sucks (25411) - you deserved it (5002)

On 01/15/2010 at 4:30pm - misc - by Hungryman - France

Today, my teacher compared the female reproductive system to Shrek's head. Never again will I be able to watch the movies. FML

#7340967 (135)

I agree, your life sucks (16517) - you deserved it (2352)

On 01/14/2010 at 4:56pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, the police stopped me for "driving irresponsibly" in the snowy conditions. After the 'lecture', they went to pull off in their Ford Focus Estate. Managing to go forward, they then hit a patch of ice and slid back. Instead of breaking or turning, they let it slide back into the front of my car. FML

Today, I had a large pimple on my temple. I decided to try the whole "put toothpaste on the zit to make it dry up" technique that all the magazines say to do. Not only is my pimple still there, but the toothpaste irritated my skin and my already large pimple now appears three times bigger. FML

#7143384 (150)

I agree, your life sucks (14892) - you deserved it (5145)

On 01/04/2010 at 8:50am - misc - by Zit-Blues (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I witnessed my drunk grandmother attempting the Single Ladies dance, complete with hip gyrations and ass slapping. FML

#7125944 (123)

I agree, your life sucks (21318) - you deserved it (2272)

On 01/03/2010 at 1:06pm - misc - by ohdear (woman) - United Kingdom (Falkirk)

Today, I realized that the only male that has ever been in bed with me has been my cat. FML

#7107063 (157)

I agree, your life sucks (18540) - you deserved it (4610)

On 01/02/2010 at 4:22pm - animals - by Darling_Cherry - United States (California)

Today, our airplane was delayed because of issues with the de-ice-ing. Then, because it had too little fuel. Then, because of engine troubles. Then, because our first officer needed to be replaced due to legal restrictions on pilots' hours. Now, I get to go straight from the plane to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks (16553) - you deserved it (1230)

On 01/02/2010 at 12:33am - work - by JSterl (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend and I were play wrestling. I had pinned him down and was sitting on his chest when he suddenly squeezed my stomach, causing me to rip the loudest fart ever. He looked so shocked that I couldn't help but laugh. I laughed so hard that I accidentally peed on him as well. FML

#7059042 (225)

I agree, your life sucks (27901) - you deserved it (11973)

On 12/31/2009 at 3:04pm - love - by pottypattypeepants (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my Nana showed me her new sign that says, "Some of my greatest blessings call me Nana." We stood there looking at a wall FULL of pictures of her grandkids, which is where she wanted to hang it. After scanning the wall a couple times, I realized. There was not one picture of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks (18638) - you deserved it (1585)

On 12/25/2009 at 9:06pm - misc - by weeble_wobbles09 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was hanging out with my ex's new girlfriend. I found out he was dating us both at the same time and was comparing between us. That is why he broke up with me two years ago and is still with her ever since. FML

I agree, your life sucks (14468) - you deserved it (2153)

On 12/21/2009 at 2:26pm - misc - by fml333 (woman) - Saudi Arabia

Today, I left work to find a note on my windshield that read, "I think you're cute," with a phone number written down as well. I got super excited and immediately dialed. The phone was answered by a woman laughing hysterically. It was my Mom. FML

#6716817 (116)

I agree, your life sucks (26091) - you deserved it (4363)

On 12/12/2009 at 12:23am - love - by MarkTheShark (man) - United States (Massachusetts)