nairi09

Search for a member

nairi09

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits :
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About nairi09 : "Have you any dreams you'd like to sell?"

nairi09's page activity

Visits<b>Pianosopher</b> - the 03/16/2016 at 6:39pm<b>earlytermination</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 11:41pm<b>Snicket</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 7:10pm<b>echokitty</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 7:23am<b>johndog699</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 12:45am<b>enter______name</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 12:30am<b>Philintheblankz</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 8:47pm<b>Tr0ub3l</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 4:49pm<b>invadermaythe1st</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 2:50pm<b>Joshery</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 1:41pm<b>Timotha</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 4:41pm<b>hellalegit</b> - the 01/07/2015 at 11:11pm<b>lolitsjulia</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 5:51pm<b>PerSueTwo513</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 1:37pm<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 10:36am<b>Toughsky</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 1:17am<b>WizardlyUnicorn</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 7:07am<b>LivClaire96</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 12:20pm

nairi09's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of nairi09's badges

nairi09's favorite FMLs

Today, my sister felt guilty and told me about the changes she secretly made to my résumé months ago. She'd put "doing your mom" and "corporate espionage" as my hobbies, and "Justin Bieber's pussy waxer" as a previous job. No wonder I'm still unemployed. FML

by fuck you, tasha / 08/24/2014 at 5:50pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Work

Today, was the first day my grandma has seen me since I started going to tanning beds. She is now considering taking me out of her will because I look like "a damn Indian". FML

by kirstyrd / 08/12/2014 at 2:07am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, my fiancée has been saying, "Shit's gone cray-cray" for over a week. I finally snapped. When I was done ranting, she murmured, "Baby, don't be cray-cray". FML

by oh my fucking god / 07/10/2014 at 9:34am / United Kingdom (Derby) / Love

Today, I went to the restroom to pee. A loud fart exploded out of my ass and echoed in the toilet bowl. I could practically feel my face on fire when I saw the horrified look on a little girl's face as I walked out. FML

by Anonymous / 06/07/2014 at 10:34pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. I had to use the bathroom part way through, and ended up taking the foulest dump of my life. I cracked open a window on my way out, but my boyfriend's dad went in soon after, quickly retching and booming "What the fuck?!" FML

by great 1st impression / 05/25/2014 at 12:09pm / United Kingdom (Derby) / Miscellaneous

Today, I joked to a client that every time I see his name, I start singing the song 'Dr Jones' by Aqua. He looked blankly at me, so I broke into song, 'Dr Jones, Dr Jones, calling Dr Jones... ' He still looked blankly, but now also utterly horrified, as were the rest of the waiting room. FML

by banana_tree / 04/21/2014 at 5:26pm / United Kingdom / Work

Today, as I walked out the door to head to class, my neighbour's kid threw a balloon at me, filled with some kind of foul-smelling liquid that he calls "liquid ass". I had a presentation 20 minutes later and couldn't get the smell off myself in time. FML

by Anonymous / 03/31/2014 at 1:15pm / Japan (Hyogo) / Kids

Today, I asked my boss for a few days off next week, because my grandmother passed away yesterday and I'll need to travel to attend the funeral. His response: "She's dead, you're not. You want time off, then quit." FML

by GLHan / 03/07/2014 at 5:31pm / United States (New York) / Work

Today, I tried to kill a spider by throwing a shoe at it. All it did was slice the spider's egg sac open, releasing all its babies. FML

by Anonytard / 03/02/2014 at 5:38pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, I found a great recipe for dinner, and emailed it to myself with the subject "Dinner tonight". Hours later, I'd forgotten all about it, opened my emails, saw the subject line, and thought someone was asking me out to dinner. I got really excited until I saw the sender address. FML

by Mels / 01/06/2014 at 3:57pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I've had my tenth "Christmas" dinner since Christmas last took place. My mum has gone nuts and keeps playing Christmas music, making these dinners, and refusing to let me take down the Christmas decorations. My dad is too whipped to save us from this hell. FML

by Anonymous / 01/04/2014 at 4:31pm / Ireland / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend told me that sometimes my nipples taste like onions. FML

by Snufflopagus / 01/01/2014 at 8:26am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, marks the third week since my sister's guinea pig learned to masturbate. He humps his wheel and makes squeaking noises for five minutes, then rolls over on his side and pants heavily. He does it at least twice a night while I'm trying to sleep. FML

by Anonomous / 12/28/2013 at 7:31pm / United States (Vermont) / Animals

Today, while mopping floors at the police station, an inmate pissed on the floor, demanded that I suck his dick, begged me for a glass of water and finally informed me that he would kill my family. I said nothing and he started weeping softly. I laughed, but slipped in his piss and broke my arm. FML

by JimmyT / 03/03/2013 at 5:21pm / Norway (Hordaland) / Work

Today, my teenage son taught my five-year-old daughter how to fake her own death. I walked into the kitchen today to find her lying still on the floor, covered in ketchup. She laughed when I began to scream. FML

by Nightmare / 01/15/2013 at 9:41am / Kids