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nadnerbz

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nadnerbz
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1340
  • Number of comments : 68
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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nadnerbz's favorite FMLs

Today, after having sex with my girlfriend, I jokingly held the condom above my mouth. Somehow, the condom busted, and everything went over my face. Worse still, we're now wondering just how safe this condom really was. FML

#19743887
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12256) - you deserved it (34270)

On 06/06/2012 at 12:02pm - intimacy - by Rob (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boss became obsessed with a movie about a pimp. He now refers to all my female coworkers as his "bitches" and refuses to treat us like human beings. Whenever we make a mistake, he rolls his eyes and laughs, "So typical of a prostie." FML

#19736092
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28216) - you deserved it (2541)

On 06/04/2012 at 11:47pm - work - by kufan1324 - United States

Today, my boyfriend called me, panicking. Apparently he had a headache, but wasn't concentrating on what tablets he grabbed, and accidentally took tablets for "relief of period pain". He was convinced he was going to grow ovaries overnight. FML

#19697677
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18130) - you deserved it (1769)

On 05/29/2012 at 3:54am - health - by sopheeah - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found out where my surprise honeymoon is; it involves swimming with dolphins. I have a huge fear of dolphins, whales and sharks. FML

#19696496
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15754) - you deserved it (6759)

On 05/28/2012 at 11:36pm - misc - by SwimmingInFear - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out that the person who has been stalking me has also been stalking someone else. I got upset. It seems it took being stalked to make me feel good about myself. FML

#19692066
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8633) - you deserved it (10895)

On 05/28/2012 at 2:24am - love - by stalked (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my parents. My dad turns around and says he was expecting him to have a guide dog. This is why I don't have much confidence in myself. FML

#19690417
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21910) - you deserved it (1559)

On 05/27/2012 at 8:31pm - misc - by hitnmiss66 (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I got an inconvenient erection while at my girlfriends house, so I tried to think of something stupid to get rid of it. I tried thinking of Pokémon, which actually made me harder. FML

#19587857
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18830) - you deserved it (7569)

On 05/07/2012 at 4:38pm - intimacy - by me (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I accidentally kicked a can and it hit a man's shoe. He tried to kick it at me but his foot somehow failed to connect with the can. I could hear it rattling behind me as he failed again and again. So he decided to run up behind me and throw it at my head. FML

#19586621
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17589) - you deserved it (4576)

On 05/07/2012 at 10:08am - misc - by thepigeonsfriend (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was working at the local liquor store. An obviously drunk girl stumbles in, grabs two cases of beer and puts them on the counter. Then she grabs a pregnancy test, pees on it right there, shows me, and says, "I'm not pregnant, I want beer." FML

#19572319
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28868) - you deserved it (1795)

On 05/04/2012 at 8:08am - work - by viviham - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband informed me that he has been purposely finishing before me in bed as a form of punishment for beating him at Mario Kart. FML

#19563136
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28478) - you deserved it (5827)

On 05/02/2012 at 11:46am - intimacy - by winnerwinner (woman) - United States

Today, I met my girlfriend's mom. She went on about how my girlfriend's dad is a no good drunk, following this statement with spilling her fifth glass of wine. FML

#19515132
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18532) - you deserved it (1581)

On 04/23/2012 at 1:50am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was watching a boys volleyball team warming up, and I had my eye on one of them who was quite attractive. He sent the ball a little too far and it hit me in the face. He apologized, and I then for some reason replied with, "It's fine, I like balls in my face." FML

#19475030
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14689) - you deserved it (25589)

On 04/15/2012 at 9:13pm - intimacy - by lifeonfire12 (woman) - Canada

Today, I was at a party, when the cops busted us. Since I'm underage, I hid behind a chair for an hour and a half while they breathalyzed everyone and sat them in the same room I was in. The cops left, everyone realized I was behind the chair, and now my nickname is "Anne Frank". FML

#19455929
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11937) - you deserved it (30228)

On 04/12/2012 at 2:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my ex-husband officially became my step dad. FML

#19421919
386 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82658) - you deserved it (4002)

On 04/07/2012 at 4:20am - love - by ladylarni - Australia

Today, I confided to my dad that my girlfriend had dumped me for another guy. He said "good" and explained that given how overpopulated the planet is, he's actually disappointed that I'm not gay. His advice was: "just wank it off and move on". FML

#19377820
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20576) - you deserved it (2397)

On 03/30/2012 at 6:21pm - love - by sad (man) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)



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