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nadnerbz's FML badges
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
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nadnerbz's favorite FMLs
Today, after having sex with my girlfriend, I jokingly held the condom above my mouth. Somehow, the condom busted, and everything went over my face. Worse still, we're now wondering just how safe this condom really was. FML
by Rob / 06/06/2012 at 12:02pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
Today, my boss became obsessed with a movie about a pimp. He now refers to all my female coworkers as his "bitches" and refuses to treat us like human beings. Whenever we make a mistake, he rolls his eyes and laughs, "So typical of a prostie." FML
by kufan1324 / 06/04/2012 at 11:47pm / United States / Work
Today, my boyfriend called me, panicking. Apparently he had a headache, but wasn't concentrating on what tablets he grabbed, and accidentally took tablets for "relief of period pain". He was convinced he was going to grow ovaries overnight. FML
by sopheeah / 05/29/2012 at 3:54am / Australia (Victoria) / Health
by SwimmingInFear / 05/28/2012 at 11:36pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by stalked / 05/28/2012 at 2:24am / United States (Maryland) / Love
by hitnmiss66 / 05/27/2012 at 8:31pm / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Miscellaneous
by me / 05/07/2012 at 4:38pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, I accidentally kicked a can and it hit a man's shoe. He tried to kick it at me but his foot somehow failed to connect with the can. I could hear it rattling behind me as he failed again and again. So he decided to run up behind me and throw it at my head. FML
by thepigeonsfriend / 05/07/2012 at 10:08am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
Today, I was working at the local liquor store. An obviously drunk girl stumbles in, grabs two cases of beer and puts them on the counter. Then she grabs a pregnancy test, pees on it right there, shows me, and says, "I'm not pregnant, I want beer." FML
by viviham / 05/04/2012 at 8:08am / United States (Texas) / Work
by winnerwinner / 05/02/2012 at 11:46am / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 04/23/2012 at 1:50am / United States (Michigan) / Love
Today, I was watching a boys volleyball team warming up, and I had my eye on one of them who was quite attractive. He sent the ball a little too far and it hit me in the face. He apologized, and I then for some reason replied with, "It's fine, I like balls in my face." FML
by lifeonfire12 / 04/15/2012 at 9:13pm / Canada / Intimacy
Today, I was at a party, when the cops busted us. Since I'm underage, I hid behind a chair for an hour and a half while they breathalyzed everyone and sat them in the same room I was in. The cops left, everyone realized I was behind the chair, and now my nickname is "Anne Frank". FML
by Anonymous / 04/12/2012 at 2:31pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by ladylarni / 04/07/2012 at 4:20am / Australia / Love
Today, I confided to my dad that my girlfriend had dumped me for another guy. He said "good" and explained that given how overpopulated the planet is, he's actually disappointed that I'm not gay. His advice was: "just wank it off and move on". FML
by sad / 03/30/2012 at 6:21pm / United Kingdom (Cardiff) / Love
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got…
- Today, I woke up screaming like a little bitch. I'd been having a bizarre dream where I was having… Today, I went down on my girlfriend after sharing a romantic moment. As I was licking, she giggled… Today, since I'm too ashamed to go buy a proper sex toy, I used an old Star Wars toy sword instead.…