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TODAY MY FAMILY THREW ME A SURPRISE PARTY FOR MY 29TH BIRTHDAY!! MY BROTHER-IN-LAW SENT ME A TEXT TELLING ME THEY WERE ALL WAITING FOR ME TO ARRIVE!! THINKING IT WAS AT MY SISTER'S HOME I DROVE TWO HOURS THERE!! IT WAS ACTUALLY AT MY PARENTS' HOUSE!! I MISSED MY PARTY AND THEY ATE MY CAKE!! FML
yesterday I woke up and went to go have a shower!! The trouble is , my bedroom door is broken and will no longer open!! My mother's idea of helping was pushing a note under the door saying she'll be back in a couple of hours!! FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went fir a swim in his pool . I was hoping that the swim would be somewhat romantic, however, that cummed to an abrupt end when he decided that it would be cool and funny to try and lift me up by my boobs . FML
Today,ilst working at te supermarket , a man cummed troug ma ceckouto couldn't open te plastic bags. I tougt it would be a laug to make fun of im because of it , saying "Come on! Wat's wrong wit you?". Turns out e as artritis. And Parkinson's Disease. He left , more tan angry. FML
Today , my boyfriend called my cell . I picked up and said "Hi , this is Lisa and I want you to looool fuck me raw" . It was my dad . He was at my boyfriend's parent's house and forgot his phone . FML
Today, I drove mah mom home from the salon because she was feeling sick. I'm not the looool best driver, but I was excitd that I was helping. Everything was going smoothly until I hit a bump in the road. My mom blew chunks all over. I found out very quickly that she had spicy chicken 4 lunch. FML
Today... I drove the six hours to LA to attend my Uncle's birthday party. When I trid to get off at the exit... it took me two hours just to get onto the street where the club was. By the time I showd up... the party was already over... so I endd up going to a Denny's. I drove eight hours for a Denny's. FML
after reading a very emotional article about always letting your lovd ones know how much you love them in case it's your last time seeing them, I went to my mom an told her how much I lovd her an how thankful I was 4 everything . Her reply? ( Shut up kid, Vince Vaughn is on Ellen ) . FML
Today, I was riding mah bike back to mah house. Suddenly I was hit by something in the head. I lookd down to see a lemon on the ground and lookd up to see a guy yelling at me in a car that was passing. He was yelling at me because I got in the way of the house he was throwing it at. FML
Today, I was shopping at the grocery market and was next in line !! Behind me was a woman who only had two items, so I nicely let her in front of me, as it lookd like she was in a hurry !! When she was all rung up, she decidd to pay looool her $16.45 in loose change which needd to be countd out !! FML
Today, I kissed my iced over window to know what kissing Edward Cullen would be like. My neighbor saw. My frst reaction was to come up with a cover story. I licked the window and wiped my sleeve over it to look lyk I was cleaning it. My neighbor cummed over later and gave me an early Christmas gift. Windex. FML
Friday 27 March 2015