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naasatisfn's FML badges
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naasatisfn's favorite FMLs
Today, I asked my friend what form of birth control she used the first time she had sex. She stared at me like I was from another planet and said, "You can't get pregnant the first time..." This moron is my best friend. FML
by Thatslife / 03/26/2011 at 3:29pm / Netherlands (Friesland) / Intimacy
Today, I co-starred in a production of Hamlet. Halfway through play, the actor playing Hamlet forgot his lines, threw a raging temper tantrum, screaming about how much he hated the play and how he wanted to go home in front of hundreds of audience members. FML
by Sue / 03/26/2011 at 11:41am / United States (Wisconsin) / Work
by JulieClaire / 03/10/2011 at 8:44pm / Transportation
Today, I went to the dentist after 24 hours of severe tooth pain. They did an emergency root canal. After the anesthesia wore off, within minutes, the pain returned only worse than before. Called the dentist, I had to return, only to find they had done the root canal on the wrong tooth. FML
by rj / 03/06/2011 at 12:42am / United States (California) / Health
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML
by Anon. / 03/01/2011 at 6:51pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
by CutieBooty / 02/22/2011 at 4:02pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
Today, while in my room sleeping, my little brother deemed it necessary to come in and drop a book on my face. When I sat up with a now bloody nose, he looked at me, pointed, and said "You've just been facebooked" and ran away giggling. FML
by Malakai / 02/02/2011 at 12:57am / United States / Kids
Today, I got home from working late and decided to write a cute email to my girlfriend since I haven't seen her in two weeks. I was about to finish it off when my door swung open, and in a panic, I opened another tab to hide my email. It was porn. FML
by Anonymous / 01/28/2011 at 2:59pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Intimacy
Today, I was talking to a co-worker about birth control. Ten minutes later, I went to my sent e-mails to copy and reuse an old e-mail and realized I had sent "I tried calling you but your birth control is not working" to a student. It was supposed to say "voicemail". FML
by OverWorked1 / 01/19/2011 at 10:59pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, I tried to email my Dad a picture of someone we knew that I'd found on the Internet. He called me later to inform me that I had actually sent him a picture of myself in a naughty school girl outfit that I'd taken for my husband. My mom was laughing her ass off. FML
by Anonymous / 01/10/2011 at 3:55pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
Today, I went to the toilet during drama, not because I had to actually go, but because I wanted to play Monopoly on my iPod. I lost track of time and came back twenty minutes later. My whole class listened while I was forced to tell my teacher I'd been really constipated. FML
by Anonymous / 01/06/2011 at 4:56pm / Isle of Man / Geek
by Moving On / 01/01/2011 at 1:59am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
by nyebust / 01/01/2011 at 12:18am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend and I heard my parents going at it upstairs. He said, "sounds like they're having more fun than we did." To make it worse, he crept to their door and put his ear to it, telling me what he heard. FML
by whoawhoawhoa / 12/28/2010 at 5:04pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Intimacy
- Today, my little cousin that's sleeping over tried to reenact the game "Elsa brain surgery" with me… Today, I found out what it's like to have all my ex's living in the same apartment complex. So far… Today, at work, because I have been having bowel problems I sat longer than normal on the toilet. I…