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naasatisfn

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naasatisfn
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  • Number of visits : 1199
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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naasatisfn's favorite FMLs

Today, I taught my friend how to use a staple gun. She taught me how to get staples out of my hand. FML

#19514784
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16898) - you deserved it (3485)

On 04/23/2012 at 12:21am - misc - by leprechaun23 - United States (Ohio)

Today, it was my wedding day. With my best friend as the priest, she asked, "Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?" After saying I do, she then turned to him and asked, "Do you want to bang my friend?" Everyone laughed, except my already disapproving father. FML

#19514689
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24693) - you deserved it (3903)

On 04/23/2012 at 12:04am - love - by gottalovefriends - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I met a hot guy at the bar and we hit it off instantly. After a few drinks, he called a cab for us. When it arrived, I seducingly asked, "My place or yours?" He responds, "Both. I'll go to mine and you go to yours" and walked away. The cab driver laughed the whole way home. FML

#19509709
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23754) - you deserved it (10142)

On 04/22/2012 at 3:01am - misc - by ultraattitude - United States (California)

Today, while landscaping my backyard, I was pulling a big weed out of the ground. After the last tug, the soil came free, but ended up with me punching myself full force in the nuts. I think my future children are already filing for parental abuse. FML

#19508765
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18093) - you deserved it (3531)

On 04/21/2012 at 11:27pm - health - by JurassicHole (man) - United States

Today, while landscaping my backyard, I was pulling a big weed out of the ground. After the last tug, the soil came free, but ended up with me punching myself full force in the nuts. I think my future children are already filing for parental abuse. FML

#19508765
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18093) - you deserved it (3531)

On 04/21/2012 at 11:27pm - health - by JurassicHole (man) - United States

Today, my husband drew a penis on every one of my cigarettes. It's a new pack. FML

#19508691
295 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7004) - you deserved it (59357)

On 04/21/2012 at 11:15pm - misc - by Jenn P (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, on my first day of a new factory job, I discovered that my new boss had lied to me about my hours. I found this out when my coworkers burst out laughing when I mentioned having the weekends off, and talking about my recreational plans. FML

#19508407
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18257) - you deserved it (1840)

On 04/21/2012 at 10:22pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got home from work to find my boyfriend sobbing hysterically over the death of his cat. The only cat he could be talking about is the one on his Sims account. FML

#19505597
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18778) - you deserved it (1951)

On 04/21/2012 at 10:50am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, my boyfriend said he was going to give me breakfast in bed before he left. He walked over, threw some granola bars on the bed next to me and left. FML

#19505395
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21363) - you deserved it (3435)

On 04/21/2012 at 9:04am - love - by still hungry - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mum bought a phone. Since teaching her how to text, I have received 27 messages, repeatedly saying the word "penis". FML

#19505040
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20420) - you deserved it (4030)

On 04/21/2012 at 5:26am - misc - by jaderie - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went to the bathroom to pee. I looked at the toilet paper after I wiped and saw a spider on it. It was still wiggling its legs. FML

#19504984
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24663) - you deserved it (3059)

On 04/21/2012 at 4:36am - animals - by yikes - United States

Today, I am six months pregnant and have been lactating. When I noticed this and pointed it out to my husband, I jokingly stated that I felt like a cow. He then replied. "Oh, you're not a cow. At most you're just a fat pig." He still has no clue why I'm upset. FML

#19504672
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19337) - you deserved it (3184)

On 04/21/2012 at 2:15am - misc - by wmkaz - Canada (Ontario)

Today, as I was washing my boyfriend's fishbowl, the fish did a Nemo and made an unholy leap down the drain. My immediate impulse was to flip the switch. Our kitchen now smells like mutilated fish and my boyfriend won't speak to me. FML

#19504619
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6775) - you deserved it (27568)

On 04/21/2012 at 2:01am - animals - by gimmeasalad - United States (California)

Today, while driving home after the legal curfew, I narrowly avoided a police roadblock and backtracked a mile to drive home another way. I then ran out of gas a mile away from my house. FML

#19504402
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6166) - you deserved it (17769)

On 04/21/2012 at 1:12am - misc - by ugh (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I offered my phone number to the guy I've been flirting back and forth with all week. He said no. FML

#19497689
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18035) - you deserved it (3127)

On 04/19/2012 at 9:26pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



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