Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

naasatisfn

Offline (yesterday at 5:34pm) | Search for a member

naasatisfn

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1651
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

naasatisfn's page activity

Visits<b>TourettesGuyFTW</b> - the 09/14/2013 at 8:28am<b>smashgamer</b> - the 04/20/2013 at 12:53pm<b>decimater</b> - the 04/18/2013 at 8:10pm<b>heavenskiller</b> - the 04/18/2013 at 6:32pm<b>phatdaddy62</b> - the 04/18/2013 at 7:25am<b>WeWereWealth7</b> - the 04/18/2013 at 3:30am<b>BellaBelle</b> - the 04/18/2013 at 1:05am<b>silly_gal</b> - the 04/17/2013 at 11:39pm<b>xTrepidation</b> - the 04/17/2013 at 10:18pm<b>lo_and_behold</b> - the 04/17/2013 at 6:48pm<b>bamagrl410</b> - the 04/17/2013 at 6:30pm<b>ydi_4_suking</b> - the 04/17/2013 at 5:30pm<b>jaffvis</b> - the 04/17/2013 at 5:13pm<b>HowieDoIt</b> - the 04/17/2013 at 5:12pm<b>trellz17</b> - the 03/26/2013 at 3:45pm<b>kfcthatisme</b> - the 03/19/2013 at 9:55pm<b>Jonesy14</b> - the 02/27/2013 at 12:28am<b>mubisha</b> - the 02/26/2013 at 6:51pm

naasatisfn's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of naasatisfn's badges

naasatisfn's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out I was pregnant. When I told my boyfriend, his response was, "I'll start watching pregnant porn to build up an attraction to it." FML

#21110801
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50400) - you deserved it (7435)

On 04/12/2014 at 1:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while having a sneak through my brother's browser, I found a bookmark for a Google Docs file. It was a short story involving him horrifically killing our entire family. It ended with the words: "And that is what happens when people don't respect the author's privacy." FML

#21073315
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25309) - you deserved it (55547)

On 02/27/2014 at 4:46pm - misc - by well SHIT (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I presented my child with the classic "Who came first, the chicken or the egg?" conundrum. In return, I got a detailed lecture on how birds evolved from dinosaurs, how life was created in the sea and an explanation about evolution. I got schooled by a 9 year old. FML

#21051355
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42011) - you deserved it (21828)

On 02/05/2014 at 2:52pm - kids - by Evolution mama (woman) - Iceland (Gullbringusysla)

Today, as usual, I stress ate. After having my exams prolonged for an extra week, I ate three extremely large packs of Skittles, and then threw them all up. Taste the rainbow, puke the rainbow. FML

#21048665
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38163) - you deserved it (14228)

On 02/02/2014 at 10:26pm - health - by Sad Student - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my husband decided to put different condiments on my body to make our sex better. I was thinking whipped cream; he was feeling ketchup. FML

#21039277
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51382) - you deserved it (5819)

On 01/25/2014 at 7:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was applying for jobs online when my father called. When I told him what I was doing, he said in all seriousness that I should just be a sugar baby. I said he must be joking, but he replied, "Honey, if I had your tits, I'd never work a day in my life." 5ML

#21037822
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42069) - you deserved it (4608)

On 01/24/2014 at 12:15am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I shut one of my breasts in my car door. FML

#21031414
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49377) - you deserved it (9289)

On 01/18/2014 at 1:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my family and I were having turkey for dinner. My boyfriend leaned in towards me and muttered, "I'll stuff your turkey later". Everyone heard and the whole room went dead silent. FML

Today, my 7-year-old daughter made a new game: hitting me in the groin when I'm not expecting it. She hunts me in the house, hides around corners, and behind furniture to ambush me. She'll even do it if she catches me napping. I'm a grown man living in fear of a little girl. FML

#21029770
322 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51615) - you deserved it (11561)

On 01/16/2014 at 12:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I tried to lose my virginity to my boyfriend of a year. We're almost twenty. In the end, we both chickened out and played Pokémon instead. FML

#21020996
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59447) - you deserved it (25797)

On 01/08/2014 at 12:43am - intimacy - by gottacatchemall (woman) - United States

Today, I decided to light a lantern and watch it fly with my girlfriend after midnight. The neighbor's tree caught fire. FML

#21012276
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36472) - you deserved it (12031)

On 01/01/2014 at 12:17am - misc - by claubea11 - Puerto Rico

Today, I asked my husband to try a little foreplay for once, instead of just rushing into sex. His idea of foreplay was to sweetly whisper that he was going to "penis" me so hard. That's the first time I've heard the word "penis" used as a verb, and hopefully the last. FML

#21007475
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48848) - you deserved it (6445)

On 12/27/2013 at 5:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, a man started a deep conversation with me at the bus stop about life, death, and the miracles of things we take for granted every day. I was really enjoying it until he looked at his watch and said, "Oh shit, mushrooms make me lose track of time!" and ran off into the night. FML

#20998821
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39486) - you deserved it (4430)

On 12/20/2013 at 3:45am - misc - by whatjusthappened (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was chatting with my mother. She was telling me about some new mouthwash she recently got, and the moment the word "gargle" escaped her lips, my husband muttered just a little too loudly from the kitchen, "How about gargling my balls instead, bitch." Our family is now at war. FML

#20985190
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46590) - you deserved it (5131)

On 12/08/2013 at 3:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: