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mzhaze

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mzhaze

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 10 November 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 303
  • Number of comments : 26
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About mzhaze : Im home all the time and am always online, so send me a message :)
Take life by the tits and milk it!♡♥♡♥

mzhaze's page activity

Visits<b>SkipBeatOtaku</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 8:48pm<b>seeoseek</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 8:23pm<b>kelsorg</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 1:45pm<b>izbechillin</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 6:50pm<b>forizidrizzi</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 6:45pm<b>baba01</b> - the 05/09/2014 at 4:40pm<b>Patty410</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 10:19am<b>sethmayer9</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 12:13am<b>brittany2230</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 10:47pm<b>MNBOY16</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 10:40am<b>tac0sanchez</b> - the 03/16/2014 at 12:06am<b>Tara115</b> - the 03/09/2014 at 1:57am<b>kaitlynoliver11</b> - the 03/06/2014 at 11:19pm<b>kymhipsher22</b> - the 03/06/2014 at 4:27pm<b>Trollx</b> - the 03/02/2014 at 3:58am<b>Owlfarm612</b> - the 02/28/2014 at 1:39pm<b>maximus_prime</b> - the 02/28/2014 at 9:11am<b>flupsht</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 9:03pm

mzhaze's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of mzhaze's badges

mzhaze's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at a club and caught a cute guy's eye from across the bar. He smiled at me, got up and came over, then said "Oh shit! You looked way hotter from back there. Damn!" and walked away. FML

#21304109
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32689) - you deserved it (3042)

On 11/22/2014 at 8:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was watching The Walking Dead while in bed, when I heard a noise in the kitchen. I told myself I was just imagining things. Several hours later, as I was getting ready for sleep, I found out I'd actually been robbed. FML

#21299716
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35301) - you deserved it (5415)

On 11/15/2014 at 5:59pm - intimacy - by Slow_Walker (woman) - Georgia (Dushet'is Raioni)

Today, I was stuck in the elevator at my building, so I pushed the emergency button which made a ringing noise. After half an hour, I hear someone yelling to the elevator, "Could you stop pushing that button, there are kids sleeping." FML

#21289322
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32188) - you deserved it (2148)

On 10/31/2014 at 9:26pm - misc - by Virginy - France

Today, my roommate decided that because she has an oral report due, she's going to scream at the top of her lungs until she loses her voice to get out of it. It's been two hours and she refuses to stop. FML

#21252777
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38187) - you deserved it (2493)

On 09/06/2014 at 12:25am - misc - by why me? - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was waiting in line at a clothes store when someone cut in in front of me, and the gentlemen in front of me. I shouted, "Hey! Queue starts back here!". He responded by pointing out the "gentlemen" in front was actually a very realistic mannequin. FML

#21056589
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34411) - you deserved it (15364)

On 02/10/2014 at 7:45pm - misc - by QueueJumper (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I joked with a pregnant girl in a state juvenile correctional facility where I work that eating a lot of candy would damage the unborn baby's teeth. Without batting an eye, she responded that she would simply "eat some toothpaste after the candy." FML

Today, like every other day for many years, I have a phobia of bananas. This evening, the phobia came to a head when I had a nightmare in which I was stabbed to death by a gang of walking bananas. FML

#21015899
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41641) - you deserved it (7874) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/03/2014 at 6:28pm - misc - by Elisa_LmR (woman) - France

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Just as he was about to finish, he pulled out and came in his hand. He then flicked his hand towards my face and yelled, "Sha-ZAM!" FML

#20999459
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53342) - you deserved it (7933)

On 12/20/2013 at 6:36pm - intimacy - by zamwow (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I woke up to a loud crashing in the middle of the night. I went to investigate, but found nothing amiss. Nothing except an axe firmly wedged in my front door, that is. It's safe to say that I have no clue who did it, and that I needed a fresh pair of underwear. FML

#20999316
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43668) - you deserved it (2583)

On 12/20/2013 at 4:05pm - misc - by nopissleft (man) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I sent my boyfriend a text asking him to come over a little later and have some "fun" with me. He texted back, "WTF babe? Breaking Bad's on tonight. You got a dildo, fucking use it." FML

#20900698
293 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61392) - you deserved it (25752)

On 09/29/2013 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by -___- (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while I was sleeping, apparently I rolled over towards my fiancé and told him "We gotta save the turtles!" and had a five seconds long fart. Now he won't stop making fun of me. FML

#20861263
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43104) - you deserved it (7344)

On 08/31/2013 at 2:04am - misc - by fartz (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend referred to his penis as 'The Eye of Sauron'. It didn't help when he pulled down his foreskin, pointed it in my direction and said 'I see you'. FML

#18844188
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31868) - you deserved it (4986)

On 01/18/2012 at 1:29pm - intimacy - by anon - United Kingdom



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