About mzapl : My name is Mikhail Zaplishnyy. I live in Toronto, married no kids. I love my family, my wife and my job. Also I’m crazy about cars. I find FMLs fascinating.
Cheers!
I agree, their lives suck
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Today, I had an upset stomach. I lay down in bed with a bucket nearby just in case. Later on, the urge to vomit overcame me, and I puked into the bucket. I realised too late that my cat had chosen to sleep in it. He jumped out and spread vomit all over my apartment. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31628) - you deserved it (3752) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I was diagnosed with a clogged milk gland. I am not, nor have ever been, pregnant and therefore have also never breastfed. This condition is caused by my boyfriend's over-active urge to suck on my nipples. I'm in horrible pain, and he won't stop laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27161) - you deserved it (4426)
On 01/03/2012 at 6:07pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)
Today, my mother sold my extensive Star Wars collection, and I cried when I found out. I'm 46. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22644) - you deserved it (18596)
On 12/15/2011 at 11:26pm - misc - by Oja1 - United States (Montana)
Today, I was casually shopping at Walmart. Everything was normal until the young guy browsing the aisle next to me suddenly approached me and whispered "sperm" into my ear. My spine has never experienced a chill like this one before. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24552) - you deserved it (2859)
On 11/30/2011 at 10:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I wound up in hospital because my boyfriend covered my face in fake gore while I was sleeping, to see if I was really as scared of blood as I claimed. Sure enough, when I saw my reflection in the bathroom mirror, I fainted, smashing my head against the counter on the way down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28306) - you deserved it (2671)
On 03/29/2011 at 7:58pm - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, while setting up for a party I was having, I put black lights into our bathroom for the cool bright, neon color you get when you pee. When I turn them on to see where I need to continue cleaning, I see many, small, yellow hand prints on the walls. I have a nine year old brother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16680) - you deserved it (2022)
On 10/31/2010 at 5:05am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, as I showered, I sneezed, hit my face on the wall, got shampoo in my eyes, slipped on a bar of soap, bashed my head on the wall as I fell, grabbed at the walls to stop me from falling and happened to turn off the cold water, scorching me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39584) - you deserved it (4299)
On 01/17/2010 at 1:22am - health - by Concussed (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, a resident went missing at our nursing home. When I found him, a man in a blue shirt and red pants, he started yelling at me in confusion. I just thought it was his alzheimers. When I brought him to my administrator, I was told the missing resident was wearing a red shirt and blue pants. Wrong guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13777) - you deserved it (26832)
On 07/21/2009 at 4:22pm - health - by torkx3 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for a while, and I was very excited to tell him the news. When I opened his office planning to surprise him with the news, I saw him making out with a man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (390870) - you deserved it (22115)
On 04/19/2009 at 12:05am - intimacy - by soontobedivorced (woman) - United States (New York)
Monday 17 June 2013
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