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myselfami

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myselfami

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 17 February 1988 (26 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 819
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 12 posted

About myselfami : Not going to lie, a lot of the crap that happens to me is probably my own fault if you trace it back far enough. >.>

myselfami's page activity

Visits<b>Ian_from_0070</b> - the 10/18/2013 at 8:23pm<b>MattOnFML</b> - the 07/29/2013 at 5:06pm<b>guiltySnake</b> - the 11/04/2012 at 5:31pm<b>doo_f</b> - the 06/04/2012 at 5:27pm<b>lovepandorasaver</b> - the 06/01/2012 at 8:10pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:51pm<b>domosumo</b> - the 02/27/2011 at 7:01am<b>pumpkindoodle</b> - the 02/25/2011 at 6:10pm<b>Gubiithefish</b> - the 02/24/2011 at 5:31pm<b>lmc94</b> - the 02/24/2011 at 12:05pm<b>fthku</b> - the 02/23/2011 at 4:18am

myselfami's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

myselfami's favorite FMLs

Today, I subbed for a first grade class. They were releasing butterflies. Butterflies scare me shitless. A bunch of 7 year-olds watched as I screamed hysterically when one landed on me. FML

#15661118
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19774) - you deserved it (32818)

On 04/06/2011 at 2:22am - animals - by mottephobe - United States (Utah)

Today, my dad bought a one hundred dollar collectible light-saber. He plays with it. In the front yard. With sound effects. FML

#15243539
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32308) - you deserved it (7005)

On 03/08/2011 at 8:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my friend convinced me that a staple gun doesn't work on skin. I decided to put this new piece of information to the test. FML

#15239631
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7936) - you deserved it (88956)

On 03/08/2011 at 10:50am - misc - by ouch (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I found my mother in tears, so I asked her what was wrong. She told me, "It's your father, he wants a divorce..." I asked if he'd met another woman, and my mom replied "No, not a woman..." FML

#15205288
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52205) - you deserved it (4394) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/05/2011 at 6:43am - love - by Anonymous - France (Alsace)

Today, my mom was snooping around my room, and found the unopened box of glow in the dark condoms I bought myself year ago. She laughed and said, "No takers yet, eh?" FML

#15102397
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31681) - you deserved it (15652)

On 02/24/2011 at 2:14pm - intimacy - by Animal (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to my son's high school play. The moment I arrived at the auditorium, I shouted out his name to let him know I made it. Thinking I was a student, a teacher yelled, "SHUT UP AND SIT DOWN!" Scared out of my mind, I quickly obeyed, to mass giggling from the kids. FML

#15098216
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13159) - you deserved it (31197)

On 02/24/2011 at 1:39am - kids - by Annie (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my therapist told me to write down my secrets in an envelope and symbolically burn them. My secrets included stories of my rampant sex life, drug use, a suicide attempt, and the overpowering hatred I have for my family. I've managed to misplace the envelope somewhere back home. FML

#15091616
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26837) - you deserved it (19742)

On 02/23/2011 at 4:07pm - misc - by Elle (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had to sell my phone to pay for the phone bill. FML

#15087655
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19540) - you deserved it (24384)

On 02/23/2011 at 4:18am - money - by suzyyy (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, I had to sell my phone to pay for the phone bill. FML

#15087655
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19540) - you deserved it (24384)

On 02/23/2011 at 4:18am - money - by suzyyy (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, I was paired up with a partner in my film class. He has an idea for a film: "Shoot an onion from all angles, light it on fire, and roll it down a hill". He was dead serious. I'm stuck with this guy for the whole year. FML

#15076677
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27513) - you deserved it (3647)

On 02/22/2011 at 9:28am - work - by Dean Heffern -

Today, I woke up and heard a noise coming from the kitchen. I went down stairs and saw a huge guy in there. I got a vase and hit him over the head, not realizing it was my mom's new boyfriend. FML

#15062819
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28991) - you deserved it (5316)

On 02/21/2011 at 6:43am - misc - by Karl -

Today, I had my buddies over for a few beers and, trying to be cool, I told my wife to get out of the living room and back in the kitchen. I felt smug, right up until she said, "Why? Your mom doesn't need to be turned over for another 20 minutes, dick." FML

#15052365
395 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7242) - you deserved it (96244)

On 02/20/2011 at 1:44pm - misc - by :/ - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was so lonely, I wound up talking for two hours to the creep who calls my number every Friday night and makes creepy obscene breathing noises on the other end of the phone. Turns out he's a better listener than my husband. FML

#15035621
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32005) - you deserved it (5207)

On 02/19/2011 at 1:17am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had an asthma attack. I grabbed my inhaler and found peanut butter on it. I'm extremely allergic to peanuts. FML

#14997625
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41921) - you deserved it (3487)

On 02/16/2011 at 12:14am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was driving with my mother. The ride was 2 hours long. For the first hour, she talked about how uncomfortable sex is the first time. For the second, she talked about how I should take accordion lessons. FML

#14991299
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29948) - you deserved it (2971)

On 02/15/2011 at 4:24pm - intimacy - by bitchasaurusrex (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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