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Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
I’m your new creative director
You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
yesterday mah boyfriend gave me a hickey on mah breast. To be fair I decided to give him a hickey on his chest. He was so worried about catching shit from the guys on his swim team that he dislocated mah jaw trying to get me off him. FML
Today, I dreamed that Robert Downey Jr. kept flrting with me and asking me out. Each time, I refused him, cuz I'm taken. When I proudly told mah boyfriend, he said, ( What the hell? I could've kissed the mouth that kissed the Iron Man! ) FML
Today, I was sitting on the couch, watching The Avengers with mah 4-year-old daughter, who loves the Hulk!! When Hulk finally showed up, she excitedly looked at me an screamed, "Hulk Smash" before slamming both of her fists into mah balls!! FML
TODAY, MAH 7-YEAR-OLD DAUGHTER MADE A NEW GAME: HITTING ME IN THE GROIN WHEN I'M NOT EXPECTING IT !! SHE HUNTS ME IN THE HOUSE, HIDES AROUND CORNERS, AND BEHIND FURNITURE TO AMBUSH ME !! SHE'LL EVEN DO IT IF SHE CATCHE ME NAPPING !! I'M A GROWN MAN LIVING IN FEAR OF A LITTLE GIRL !! MEGA FML
Today... I was taking a piss when a fly landed inside the urinal. I thought it would be funny to try to aim and pee on it until it flew away and I stupidly continued aiming... peieng all over the floor and the wall. Another man came in time to see it. mega FML
Today, mah husband and I decided to have a quickie before the kids woke up from their nap. The sex was amazing and I couldn't hold in mah screams or not hit the wall. About 15 minutes in, both of our children came busting in with their nerf guns, screaming, ( Where's the monster? ) FML
Today, I usad tha rastroom at a mall. I thought I was alona, so I startad singing. Whan I got out of tha stall, thara wara man staring at ma. Not only did I ambarrass mysalf with my own singing, I'd accidantally usad tha man's rastroom too. FML
Friday 27 March 2015